thinking of maybe having baby no.3...

[cupcakes]

Don't know why I suddenly feel nervous about this - have finally persuaded dh that this would be a brilliant thing. He's done the practical thing (like working out if we can fit 3 children into our house!) and now seems happy to go for it! So why am I suddenly anxious?
Don't know if it's the thought of pregnancy + birth again or those early months or just how loud three children will be! How many fights I'll have to sort out, will there be enough of me to go round etc.
Suddenly can't think of the positives! Those of you with 3 children - what are your experiences??

shouldnt you be taking folic acid too?
Go have a word with gp if you are concerned.

www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancyandbaby/fertility/conception/articles/0,,4_186289,00.html

look here?

Hmm, middle child syndrome. I'm the youngest of 5. Although my parents were pretty fair, I'd say eldest daughter and youngest son were the favourite (no's 2 and 4 respectively). Never discussed with my other sister (no 3) if she felt left out, ignored or otherwise. Everyone spoilt me, as the youngest - not just mum and dad

We're ttc no. 3 right now. Don't care if it's a brother or sister for my ds's, as long as it HAPPENS and it's healthy. I'd hope if you're aware of middle child syndrome you could overcome it?

Do what you want re pill. If you want a baby stopping taking it is important but it makes no difference at all when you stop taking it! Periods are only for dating pregnancies anyway, and they aren't always great at that. No medical reason to do anything. If you can get pg, the hormones are self-evidently out of your system anyway!

have 2 more!!!

All those with three - do you work outside the home too? It's the combining three with work I can't get my head around. Find it hard with two.

Oh yes, folic acid v imp. Ideally you take it before you try to conceive as levels build up.

I worked school hours when I had 3 now I have 5 i dont work. but little one is only 9months.
I didnt work when any were small. I actually wanted and still do to be a stay at home Mum.

We had definitely decided 2 was enough, then when ds2 started school full-time, both started feeling v.broody....now am pg with no.3! What convinced me to take the plunge was a few mums at school with a similar (large) age gap (ds1 8.5, ds2 will be 6) have had babies and loved it - like the first time again with 2 at school, but all the experience. Have to say I am worrying a bit about sleepless nights, but mainly feeling v excited!! So golds, if the age gap is putting you off trying again, think of it as an advantage!

am going to pick ds up from school - stopping off at the chemists for my folic acid

my first 3 were pretty close in age then I re married and had 2 more so there is 8 years between ds2 (3rd child) and Ds4 I must say its lovely thee big ones love the little ones and help when can be bothered and you are much more sensible and laid back!!!! oh look at the time!!!!

Have read this thread with interest. When we got married we said we would like 2 children. Got pregnant & then had identical twins! They are 3 years now and this will probably sound really stupid but I often feel I am grieving at the moment for a baby that hasn't been does that make any sense? It would have been our ideal to have another baby around this time. I then feel really guilty because then am I saying that my boys arent enough? Which they are but I would like to experience a "normal pregnancy & birth" whatever this is, as I had loads of problems as well as having a caesarian & only seeing them for 30mins on that first 24 hours as they were in SCBU.

My dilemma now is when do we have another baby if we do. Its really hard work at the moment so I know I would never manage another baby. If we leave it too long would a new baby then be left behind by the boys with too big an age gap and having each other.

Its not easy but I guess we will know if & when the time is right!

Best thing I ever did. Two was great but it didn't feel like the family was complete and three from two was a doddle compared with two from one. I think I am calmer than ever with ds3 and it helps that he has been the easiest and smiliest of all the ds's. Good luck

Having 3 can be chaotic sometimes, but fun. Both DH and I had one same-sex sibling each, so it's really interesting watching the dynamics between our three. There is nearly 10 years top to bottom - a planned 5 1/2 year gap between the boys, then a TOTALLY unplanned pregnancy when DS2 was 3 1/2 resulting in DD (my eldest was desperate for a sister so was over the moon). Can't remember who said they were pushing it age-wise but I was two months off 40 when DD was born and yes, I was more tired which presumably was a combination of age and two other kids, but I love my "big" (for me!) family. I know lots of people with three, and quite a few with four, kids and of course everyone has their off days, but in generally people enjoy having lots of kids.

twins2cute - my sister has twin (identical) girls, five years older than their younger sister. My sister may say I've got it all wrong, but from where I stand they all get on pretty well, twins loved having a little sister to baby, she is definitely boss now (at 10).

gosh am no w orried about middle child syndrome

mind you ds2 has his own little talents that set him apart

i just cant believe the whole 'respect' thing talked about on this thread!!! are you seriously serious?

some interesting reading....

cod don't worry re middle child, I am a middle child and never felt unappreciated.
It's easy to think of some way in which they are all special (to tell them I mean! of course there are lots of ways).
I tell ds1 he is my special first big boy; dd is my special girl and ds2 is my special baby.
(better not have any more then....)

ta c

lol yes you relly do get gasps of admiration at theplayground.!!

esp ( as dino adn the rest of us with three boys) will tell you with three of hte same sex - domt knwo if oyu get it wth three girls I presume so.

I am 33 weeks pregnant with no2 and found myself feeling jealous of friend's wife who is pregnant with no3. I guess that sorts that issue out then Might change my mind once dealing with two under 2s though.......

Hi, just thought I'd add my experience - although it does rather seem that you've made your mind up .

I have 3 gorgeous daughters. DD1 is 5 and is at school, DD2 is 4 and is at preschool - starting school in sept, DD3 is 16 weeks old. I suffered severe PND after having DD2 and decided we probably wouldn't have any more, however around January 2004 I got really quite broody and happened to mention it to DH who said he'd been feeling the same way recently, but didn't want to mention it as he was worried about PND again. We talked with Doc and HV about recurrance of PND, and how we really wanted another child and in June decided to start trying. To be honest I just didn't feel like I'd finished having had just two.

My older 2 dote on their new sister, and she is the perfect addition to our family - the school run is a rather chaotic time which has to be planned with precision timing - and I hardly ever get a moment to myself, but that's what family life is all about! Oh, and only mild PND this time.

Good luck, and happy baby making x

Cupcakes, I have three - 8, 4 and 16 months (dd and two ds's in that order). If I'd had a choice, I'd have had the gaps the other way around, i.e. 2.5 yrs between the first two and then a 4 yr gap. I know a few families with this arrangement and it seems to work well- the older two are at school when the youngest arrives so you can give plenty of attention to the baby during the day. I don't really find three any harder to manage than 2 and because of the big gap between the first two, it feels like we are more of a family unit now since the baby arrived. I think the eldest and youngest get on very well and once the baby is a bit older I think he and ds1 will play together a lot.

I think both sets of grandparents wondered if the third was a mistake - he wasn't and I agree about the "ideal" family image of one boy and one girl - always found that very annoying. Luckily families of three seem to be fairly common around here but I was the only one having a third at my antenatal and yoga classes.

I always think you should never have regrets in life. So many people I know hesitate to have another child or to start a family and then find they have left it too late or struggle to fall pregnant.
I have 3 children: 5, 2 and 5 months and there are times when it is really not easy, I'll be honest. But I love having 3 kids and if I could have it all over I would do nothing different.

Accept that for the next 5 years before your child starts school it will again be physically and mentally tiring and perhaps you don't have the independance you are used to when your kids get older, but at the same time you have a brand new little person in your life which is an incredible buzz.

Good luck!

Thank you for all your comments and experiences. This has really helped cement my feelings and we will start trying in the next month or two when I am off the pill and have taken folic acid for a while (took my first this morning!).
Will let you know if I have any news to share!!!!
(fingers crossed!)

Twins2cute - my SIL had identical twin girls and then a 3rd 3.5 years later. like you she´d imagined two but 2 identical twins wasn´t like 2 singletons. the 3rd, also a girl, does feel left out, she sometimes wishes she had a twin too. it´s OK but not always ideal.

On middle children being left out -
I was a middle child of 3 and I tend to think it was a really good position. i was the one both my older and younger siblings wanted to play with. so quite a powerful position. no first child anxiety or last child neglect. Now I tell my middle daugher (age 3) that middle children are special, right in the middle of the family, at the heart of things! I really don´t think that all middle children get a bad deal.