thinking of maybe having baby no.3...

[cupcakes]

Don't know why I suddenly feel nervous about this - have finally persuaded dh that this would be a brilliant thing. He's done the practical thing (like working out if we can fit 3 children into our house!) and now seems happy to go for it! So why am I suddenly anxious?
Don't know if it's the thought of pregnancy + birth again or those early months or just how loud three children will be! How many fights I'll have to sort out, will there be enough of me to go round etc.
Suddenly can't think of the positives! Those of you with 3 children - what are your experiences??

pmsl HMC at pigeon holing , hehe

I am also going through the head heart dilema. We have 2 DSs (nearly 2 and nearly 5), and they get on famously, but if we had another one, two would have to share, and I wonder if I'm being selfish asking them to sacrifice their own space. There is also the fact that I have enough to do already, and how will I cope with the extra work? Then again, I soooo want another one, and it's taken a very sad miscarriage and my marriage practically breaking up to convince DH to go for it.
Why isn't life straight forward eh?

I have dd aged 4 and dd aged 4 months and REALLY want another one too!!
(but don't know wether to wait awhile)
cupcakes, do it

I agree 1-2 is a more major thing than going from 2-3. You are no longer a 'normal' [roll eyes] family though and it makes it difficult for holidays/days out etc, which pees me right off!

My kids are constantly fighting too and I seem to constantly be cooking, tidying, washing etc. If you can handle that then go for 3!

On the + side it is satisfying to look at their little faces, they love having each other (when they aren't fighting) and are together constantly & have a lot of fun.

And it can't be that bad, because I am also pg with no.4 (fgs)

And you have to put up with stupid comments from masses of other people who think you are a freak of nature because you have decided not to stop at 2 children (which seems to have become the only acceptable family combination these days). The responses to my third and fourth pregnancy have ranged from the mildly insulting "you are mad" to the completely horrible "that's disgusting". Grrrrrrr.

This is obviously fated - this is my third conversation to ever make the home page...!

Right, regardless of boy+girl/pigeon pair issues I want that baby. Here's the thing - do I go for it NOW or be sensible and wait till after our extension is built! I know dh would prefer me to wait (money is his big concern) but who knows how long it could take to conceive? Ds took 5 months but dd was straight away. If I waited and successfully conceived in January the baby would be born as dd started nursery which might be convenient. If I did get pregnant sooner than that I might have the hassle of pregnancy on a building site but then a summer baby who would in school years be a little closer to dd.
Bearing in mind that this will probably be my last pregnancy should I go for a lovely relaxed version or focus on the long term with more even age gaps between the children?
Opinions please!

starrynight - 'disgusting'?!

Go for it now. You'll manage.

I personally think they all get on better when closer in age.

Also third might feel a bit left out if big age gap between him / her and his / her two older siblings who are quite close in age.

go for it now!!
My third boy is due in 9 weeks time and the extension isn't even started! Like your dh mine had said that we should have the extension built and then try for number 3, but we jumped the gun a bit - had only started talking to architects when we found out!

God - I want to do it now! (get pregnant that is )
Better come off the pill first. Typically, I've only been on it for 2 months! In fact it was taking a pill each morning to stop me getting pregnant which made me realise how much I wanted a baby - I was taking it so begrudgingly!

I have 3 girls age 5, nearly 4, 1. I love it now. but did spend the first 8 months of dd3's life thinking it had probably been a mistake.

now it really feels like a complete family. too messy, too much washing, but very cosy when we're all together. all 3 are getting on very well which is a bonus.

Hi Fennel - nice to see you.

hi HMC, i can always find you on the "shall i have a 3rd?" threads

Yeah, funny that isn't it . Unfinished business and all that...

yes. 2 never felt quite enough. Now with 3 i have no more urges for another, which is nice.

I have 3 boys aged nearly 4, nearly 2, and 9 months. I love having the three of them but think having No 2 and 3 so close together was a bit of a mistake as they both need so much care attention although it is starting to get easier now. Having said that, I'd still love another one but dont think I'll have one as I think it would be easy just to go on and on wanting another baby! I think you tend to know what kind of person you are and whether you're likely to cope or not - you do need to laugh sometimes at the state of things e.g. doing the loo with one on your knee and one hanging round your knees - I never imagined my life would end up like this!!!!!

There is always a pro and con argument for any amount I think. Currently pg with my first (due in October) and that was a major dilemma of umming and ahhhing, is the time right etc questions. Finally just decided to do it and get on with it and we're so looking forward to Oct when our little bubba comes out!

Both me and DH are from one of three sets of siblings. I have an older and younger sister (three years apart in both directions). He has an older brother (18 months difference) and a younger sister (nearly four years difference).

We're both adamanat that we don't want to have three children. We've settled on having two. I think its mostly due to the "middle child syndrome" which we both seem to suffer from. We both are of the opinion that growing up, everything we did wasn't as special as we weren't the first, nor were we the baby of the family. I know my mum and dad love me as much as my sisters, just as I know that DH knows the same about his parents.

No doubt, even though we've said we'll only have two, we'll end up considering a third in the years to come. What we'd decide, I don't know. I know that I wouldn't want to have just one, as I know my cousin is an only child and desperately wants a bro or sis (she's nearly 10 now). I hope I'm able to have two - you never know what hand you get dealt. But, at the moment, me and DH are sticking to our "only two" plan of the future.

Go on, slate me for my comments!

I think if you wait for the 'right' time it will never come. Ring hubby up get him home early!!!!

Elf - have 4 then you won't have middle child syndrome !

I think you've made some valid points...

How do you 'come off' the pill? Do I need to finish the current sheet of pills and have a 'period' or can I stop now (I'm about one week in). Should I use alternative contraception till I have my first real period to let my body get back to normal first?
(I sure my dh will be delighted to know I'm asking all this, seeing as we only finally agreed on a 3rd 24 hrs ago )

Well, third baby is due in 4 weeks, so it's too late for me to debate now! I have the "one of each" already and have had a lot of comments about my insanity in having a third when my family was "perfect". F**k 'em, I always wanted three (probably because my parents were a bit intense and I thought three would handle the pressure better) and even though it will bring financial issues for us, as well as organisational/work issues for me, I feel my family won't be complete until this baby is safely here.

think you should finish the pack,but not really sure then wait till tou have had a period. We used to get told to wait 3months!!!!!

I'm sure someone told me that you are super fertile when coming off the pill, for the first minth or so. Worked for me!!