Teaching kindness to animals

[Numbat]

You know, I've actually found something I agree with JBR about! This was on the Jamie Bulger thread; JBR was saying how someone shouldn't let her daughter chase pigeons as this was "cruel to animals". OK, it's not quite cruelty, but I've been thinking about the attitude behind it and I'm with JBR on this one. We should teach our kids to be considerate of all those weaker than ourselves, from pigeons right through to other humans.

Lisav, have you got a solution to your sister's slugs in the house problem? We used to get them when we first moved into our house and you should have seen the slimy trails everywhere - disgusting. Finally got rid when we replaced the old carpets (which had no underlay and were not properly fitted) with thick underlay and the carpets were tightly fitted all around the skirting boards.
I am skipping totally past anything mentioning sp*rs, can't even bear to type the word, I am such a quivering wreck (how sad is that).

Hi Jodee, for anyone out there with a slug problem - they're under your carpets!! Get the carpets changed and the slugs will disappear. If they are getting into the kitchen, put salt down around your skirting board and under your door for a couple of nights and they shouldn't bother you again.

As for spiders - a good thick book will usually do the trick!

Thats interesting about the slugs I was wondering where the little buggers were hiding, Ill get hubby to get them out I think they are horrible.

Sorry about your cat Batters.
Tell your dd the truth. I understand young kids are often very matter of fact about death although of course they don't necesarily all react the same way.
I vividly remember my much beloved grandfather dying when I was just turned five. I came home from school and my mum told me he had died. I clearly remember saying "I wish I had known about it this morning so I could have written about it in my news book". And I LOVED my grandfather, I just accepted he had died.
Hope your dd is okay about it, chances are she will be fine, especially if you don't make too much fuss/act too sad yourselves.
Maybe you could make an occasion out of it by saying "fluffy has died so we are going to plant a special tree in the garden (if you have one)to remember him by" then divert her interest into choosing a tree or a plant from the garden centre.

Batters, I am very sorry to hear about your cat: we have 4 (all old now) and much as I moan about them constantly, I love them to bits. I think you have to be very honest about animals dying. If you know why your cat died, I would tell your d.d, in simple and (not too graphic) terms. I really believe that, in general, children gain something very special when they grow up with animals. Your d.d. has had a special relationship, albeit short with your latest cat, and it seems much healthier somehow to tell her the truth and not give her false hope that her 'lost' cat may turn up again.

Good luck, and loved the idea of planting something special as a memorial to your pet.

Batters, sorry about the cat. As Oxocube and Jasper said, young children are usually very accepting of these things, much more so than adults - just tell her the truth in a simple way. A plant or little tree as a memorial is a lovely idea.

I had to have our hamster put to sleep the other day (which I did mention on the other thread). DS1(9) blamed me for killing it, even though it was cruel to leave it in the condition that it was. DS2 (6) asked loads of questions and DD (3) didn't really understand and keeps asking when he is coming back. I just cried all evening, more because he had been suffering that because he had died.

Batters, really sorry about your cat - I cried for days when my dog died, and I was 17.
I guess from what you say is that your cat was knocked down in the road and you have only now received confirmation that he/she has not just left home. It does at least help that you have closure, as it were - friends have lost about three cats over the years (but they have three on the go at any time) and never had a body to bury in the back garden.
Do tell your dd what has happened, and if you have the space, planting a pretty flowering shrub in the cat's memory is a lovely idea.

Batters, sorry about your cat. We're cat lovers and it's horrible to lose one. I agree with the others about telling your daughter and then choosing a shrub.

Will your daughter ask how this happened, do you think? If so, can you make up a story about how peacefully he died.

I'm ever so sorry about your cat, Batters. I don't know if this is a good suggestion or not, but I remember when I was about five, a much loved family cat dying, and me making, with my Mum, a little book about her (I've still got it). It was all about how happy our cat was now - in a big park, chasing her tail and catching spiders - a sort of 'catty heaven' I know, but it wasn't billed as that. It was somewhere in the sky, but not heaven. I have no idea what a psycologist would say about it, but I reckon, with adult hindsight, that it helped me come to terms with her death. I'm pretty sure Mum was strong on the line that she had been 'poorly' and now wasn't - now was happy, and that we needed to remember her all happy because she wouldn't have liked me to be upset. I have to say that choosing two new kittens also helped a lot, but if you've already had one cat go, then I can see why you don't want to get any more. Best wishes.