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Original poster

Toy guns. Would you allow them in your house?

204 replies

spidermama · 04/07/2005 11:01

My DH and his two brothers were not allowed guns in the house. So desperate were they to play gun games that they used to bite their toast into gun shapes and use them.

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aloha · 08/07/2005 10:12

I agree that I strongly dislike children (of either gender) pretending to shoot adults,because I think it is impolite.

Twiglett · 08/07/2005 10:13

there is no correlation at all between children being non-violent and the act of playing with guns .. what a smugly distasteful comment

there is a very large correlation between parents being non-violent and children being non-violent though

SoupDragon · 08/07/2005 10:16

So how do you rule out the correlation between my sons playing with weapons and being non-violent, Mamatoto?

That is my point. There's more to it than what they play with.

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Mamatoto · 08/07/2005 10:20

I am saying that it impossible to rule out a correlation either way Soupdragon too many extraneous variables ...hence my comment
'We will never know'

SoupDragon · 08/07/2005 10:29

Except that I will know that playing with toy weapons has not turned my DSs into nasty, agressive, violent boys.

Mamatoto · 08/07/2005 10:31

If you interpret my words as 'smug' then I apologise for this - that is not how I am. I am stating my beliefs and my experience. My parents beat me senseless and I have no idea whether or not they played with destructive weapons as children. Nor would i venture to find out.I am simply saying ' we all have choices and we choose what we believe to be the right way' Death and toys that mimic the inflicting of pain and injury are not in my book 'right' They go against all I believe to be right. For that reason i would never dream encouraging my children to 'play' with them.

Original poster
spidermama · 08/07/2005 10:33

Aw mamatoto. Sorry you were beaten That's never right.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/07/2005 10:35

Excellent post, aloha - agree with every word.

Mamatoto · 08/07/2005 12:37

I amssume you beat your kids then Spider

llamaduck · 08/07/2005 13:09

got to read rest of comments but @ mamatoto comments re spider!

llamaduck · 08/07/2005 13:16

mamato - my dp is a declared pacifist - never gets into fights etc - will always walk away.. howver he does LARP - which is live actuion role play where they play at fighting and do re-enactments etc does that mean he is violent?? He has never been in trouble with police, never been in a fight, contributes monthly to several charities, works hard, rarely raises voice and never his hand.. but he plays with toys weapons?

I am completely shocked at your blinkered black and white attitude in this matter. I understand that you where a victim of physical abuse and although you were given such a rotten example of parenting it sounds like you are a very caring mum. I too love my son to bits, have no smack policy atc. Ds is wonderful and as his mum I would say the kindest and sweetest boy in the world. I let him play with guns and swords and sometimes join in the imaginary play. I also re-inforce the dangers of 'real' weapons etc.

aloha · 08/07/2005 13:56

what was the comment to spider about?????

jabberwocky · 08/07/2005 14:01

see 12:37:20 aloha. Have to admit I was [shock} also.

jabberwocky · 08/07/2005 14:01
Shock
Mamatoto · 08/07/2005 14:01

Just re -read comments
Sorry Spidermama - I was feeling 'got at' a couple of hours ago and had ( wrongly) read your posting as a dig at me ( thought you were saying it sarcastically). I may stop posting as I am not trying to win debate just putting forward strong views and obviously not doing it well........

Original poster
spidermama · 08/07/2005 14:16

No problem mamatoto. I was genuinely trying to show support because you suffered physical abuse. I know you mis-read it. It's fine.

OP posts:
Mamatoto · 08/07/2005 14:17

Thanks for understanding

Hulababy · 08/07/2005 16:50

Not a big fan of toy guns at all, and I don't allow Dd to have any. However DH did get her a toy cutlass from Disney last week. She knows it is not for hurting people with, only for pretend cutting of ^things6. TBH she played with it lots the first day or two, but has since reverted back to dolls, princesses and all things pink. Her sleeping beauty play set also has a tiny sword but that is used just for chopping down the branches growing round the castle (in DD's pretend play).

However DH and his brother both had proper toy guns bought for them and played with as children. Lots of action games. But both have grown up to be entirely non-violent adult men - both as soft as anything TBH!

aloha · 08/07/2005 17:07

Of course it's fine to hate toy guns etc and you clearly have personal reasons not to want stuff like that in the house. But even though my ds does not play with guns/light sabres/swords etc etc, I think that is because he's a bit of a softie, not the cause of his softyness, iyswim. I really, honestly don't think violent people are made so by having a toy cap gun. I wish it was that simple

hercules · 08/07/2005 17:11

You arent one or the other as a child. A child who plays with toy guns is quite capable of kissing a doll!!

Agree with all of Aloha's posts.

tigermoth · 08/07/2005 21:12

still going! I agree with soupdragon and aloha - As far as non voilent boys/guns are concerned, I have to say my 11 year old non gun likng son was more physically violent, in an unthinking way, at 5 years old. My ds2, aged 5 is more considerate, careful and controlled. We have just come back from a day at the beach - he has happily played with:

1.a boy his own age
2.a toddler with a baby brother
3 a mildly SN boy age 4
4.a group of boys and girls from age 6 to age 12 approx.

With 1 and 2 he took over his minature army soldiers and vehicles, so the games had an army focus. He then must have had enough of playing army games and played digging hole and throwing stones in water games with 3 and 4.

He was a normal little boy - not perfect but pretty good on the whole. I was watching him but hardly had to intervene in a telling off way at all for the four hours we were on the beach. Not wanting to sound smug, but I so far cannot see any evidence that gun play has made my ds2 into a warped, violent person.

tatt · 09/07/2005 08:18

for those who allow guns - where do you draw a line, if you do? I am horrified by how many of the 11, 10 even 9 year old boys I know are playing with games like grand theft auto. I may not regard my son shooting at targets with a gun as beyond the pale but my limit is the simpsons drive game. I'm not even totally happy about that but dh is and the kids love the simpsons..... I'm afraid I consider the amount and type of violence children are exposed to does have an impact.

hercules · 09/07/2005 09:48

There is a big difference between playing a violent computer game and running around the garden with a toy gun.

Ds is 9 and we bought him the Simpsons hit and run game. He is not allowed to play it though as it is not appropriate. It involves either running over or shooting a policeman.

I could then ask you the same question where do you draw the line?

hercules · 09/07/2005 09:50

But kids deciding themselves how much "violence" is involved in their own mske believe games is not the same as exposing them to violence on a video game.
I dont expose ds to violence.

GetKamalOut · 09/07/2005 09:55

'Toy guns, would you allow them in your house?'

Not if I can help it.