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Original poster

Do I have to do a birthday party?

21 replies

bumblebumble · 06/12/2009 10:05

I think this is a bit sad me even posting this yet - DD is 2 in Feb and I have started to think whether I need to do a b'day party. The few mums i see regularly - one of them there has been an issue with her son being a bit overbearing and my daughter does not really like being around him I don't think.
One party I went to mom went to what I thought was a lot of trouble for a 2 yr old and I don't want to invite people I hardly see for the sake of appearences. I am thinking of asking at nursery if I can do a little thing there for her as those are the children she sees frequently and then dH and I can do something at home for the 4 of us (baby 6 mo). we have no family or close friends anywhere close by - we will see then at xmas but not near her birthday.

I think the whole b'day thing is too over the top these days and I don't want to be sucked into it - interested in anyone's thoughts.

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IdrisTheDragon · 06/12/2009 10:19

I did one for DS but it was more a weekly meet up of mums and babies that I made sure was at our house that week, people did bring presents and I think I had s birthday cake, but that was it. Did similar with DD I think. 2 year olds don't need parties I don't think.

gorionine · 06/12/2009 10:21

I agree with you, we keep birthdays a very low key family celebration and do not do big parties with all their friends or book a special place. we could not afford a big part with all the class for all of them anyway, even if we wanted to.

As well, 2 is still very young I do not think she will miss having a party much (maybe that is just mean old me)

Celebrating her birthday with a lot of friends asrround should be if you wanted to, not for the sake of appearances IMHO.

mustrunmore · 06/12/2009 10:23

At 2, your dd will be very happy with the 4 of you, maybe one or two friends if you have some that are special, and balloons/cake. Just make it like a little teaparty. Trust me. Even my 6 yr old, who had a pizzahut party the wekend after his 6th birthday, was very happy to have adult & 3 child friends round on the actual birthday evenig! He would have been satified with that, if we'd described it as a party!

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FaintlyMacabre · 06/12/2009 10:23

I decided that DS could have a birthday party when he was old enough to ask for one. He was 2 in November and quite happy with a cake and special tea with Mummy, Daddy and Granny.

If you don't want to be sucked into it then don't- there's plenty of time for that when they're older.

ImSoNotTelling · 06/12/2009 10:39

Don't do it for your DD - she will be happy with whatever happens. Only do a party if you want to.

For DD's 2nd birthday we had the family round and a cake and she was really happy with that.

sarah293 · 06/12/2009 10:39

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Fruitysunshine · 06/12/2009 10:42

We had birthday breakfasts or teas with us and sibs until around 5 or 6, after they start school essentially.

Ineedsomesleep · 06/12/2009 10:44

I think parties are a real waste of time for a 2 year old too.

For DS I paid for a couple of friends to get into the local soft play and then had a tea party later for family.

For DD we just had the tea party. She still talks about the cake now.

Your DC will be more than happy with the 4 of you and having Happy Birthday sung.

gorionine · 06/12/2009 11:02

I still remember my second birthday cake as well, my Mum had run out of candles and decided to put sparklers on it instead! I am still traumatised now!

minxofmancunia · 06/12/2009 11:03

I don't think they need a "proper" party when they're 2 tbh, just make the occassion special as others have said, balloons, cake, openeing presents together.

By 3 the pressure might be on a bit though and by 4 if your dcs don't have a party they it may stand out a bit. Everyone has parties round here and despite the hassle I don't want dd to be the odd one out it's unfair.

Had big party (translate as "big headache") for her 3rd but she loved it so was worth it.

juat had friends and family cake and balloons for her 2nd.

sarah293 · 06/12/2009 11:22

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flyingdolphin · 06/12/2009 11:26

If you don't feel like it I wouldn't do a party, I doubt your ds will mind or care at that age.

We only had small family birthday parties until the dcs were about 4.

ThumbleBells · 06/12/2009 11:32

Ds has just turned 2 and our party for him was a trip to the zoo with a picnic, us 3 and grandma - and then back to ours for tea and cake. Fantastic time!

Last year I did a mini-party - DS, his 3 girl cousins and my best mate's little boy, plus a good friend of ours who was just setting up as a kids' entertainer came and "practised" (still paid her of course) with music and puppets. It was great! DS loved having the other DC there, and running around after them.

This year, we are in a different country so no family children around, and we haven't met any other children yet - plus DS is not assertive enough, iykwim - other children just take things off him if they want them, which upsets him of course, and who wants that on his birthday?

Next year maybe he'll have a "proper" party but we might leave it until he starts school.

jay11 · 06/12/2009 11:48

I don't think kids need parties every birthday. I have friends who have a big do every year, spending £100 a time.

Me and dh decided that our 3 could have a big party for their 5th birthday bowling, trampolining or soft play - the other birthdays would be low key either no party and family, or in the case of dd2 who has a summer birthday, a picnic with a couple of friends - dd2 was 2 last birthday. DD1 had a sleep over for her 7th birthday, just 1 friend.

I don't think there's any pressure to have a party, and if there is who cares?!

pigleychez · 06/12/2009 15:21

At 2, I woud say just fill the house with balloons and have a birthday cake.
Maybe have a few of her close friends round to play if you like.
My DD isnt 2 yet but that will be all we will be doing in the summer. We will also have a 2mth old baby then so really wont have the energy for much more!

For her 1st birthday we had a big family do at the weekend but just had a few of her little baby friends round for lunch. The kids played with her toys and we had a few sandwiches for lunch. Nothing special but she enjoyed playing with her friends.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/12/2009 19:15

You don't have to get sucked it whatever their age, and a cake at nursery and a celebration at home with you sound fine.

mulledfruitshootandcheese · 06/12/2009 19:21

My ds (8) has never had a birthday party, because I am a mean mummy he's never wanted one.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/12/2009 19:25

My DSs (age 6 and 9) have only had one Birthday party each anywhere other than home. And they've each had one (very small) at home. Other than that we have had one or two friends for tea on the day, or a family outing somewhere.

It is not obligatory to have a party.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 06/12/2009 19:26

does anyone else get the impression that having a party is more expected/valued by girls ?

Original poster

bumblebumble · 08/12/2009 14:03

I guess I went to a 2 yr b'day party and mom had made such an effort - complete waste of time for the kid imho and I heard of another one who did the same. It's just BS to me and I do not want to be sucked into it. I feel where I live it is somehow a reflection of your popularity or maybe that is me being paranoid. My DD also gets stuff snatched off her so unless things change a little I might do tea on her birthday and invite a few kids or maybe not.

Thanks for the common sense!

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oldwoman · 08/12/2009 14:08

I think by the age of 4, if they are seeing other children regularly in nursery/school whatever, they absolutely expect a party and are extremely excited by their birthday coming.

In your DD's case, only a 2nd birthday, I would just do cake and candles and if you have a set of grandparents nearby, perhaps invite them as well. Sit a couple of teddies and dollies at the table if you feel it is bare

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