Please help... My life's a mess. I feel like the world's worst mom. Could you please give me some advice on daily routines for toddlers?

[lioncup]

Hello, i'm sorry that this isn't going to be a particularly fun post. I'll just say that my life feels like a mess. I don't feel very normal anymore and I'm worried that I'm the world's worst mom. I really need some help with getting a routine for my son. He's 22 months old and I feel that I do hardly anything with him.

We are both in the same room all day but barely interact because I don't know what to do. I feel so tired, drained and stressed. We rarely leave the house and sometimes I don't even feel like a real person. I know that this all sounds ridiculous but I really need to talk to somebody. Sometimes I just feel so terrible that I can't even bring myself to get up from the chair and I end up getting upset in front of him. I hate that i'm doing this to him because he deserves so much more. I know it's probably a silly fear, but I'm scared that what's happening now is going to ruin his future. I feel like I have the TV on cbeebies channel all day and i'm just filling time til I get to go to sleep again. I don't even enjoy watching TV! I never thought that I'd be this terrible at this.

I can't even keep my house under control. It's such a mess that I don't let people past the front door. I worry about his diet. I really feel that I don't have a clue about anything. He has no real routine at the moment and I'd just like to hear the things you do with your toddlers so I can get an idea of what I need to change. I don't have any friends with children so there's not really anybody I can talk to about this. I'm sorry that this post sounds so pathetic and I wish that I had the energy to explain everything properly but I don't.

I think you need to consider whether you might have PND. Perhaps you could talk to your HV and she could go through the questionnaire with you. You sound tired and depressed to me.
You need to get out of the house, too, I know it feels like a huge effort but it will make you and him feel better. You don't need to have any routine set in stone, but maybe something loosely along the lines of breakfast, then a walk to the shops, back for lunch, then a sleep if he still has one, then a walk to the park, before supper, bath and bed. You could investigate toddler groups too, they are hellish to start with but good for you and your son.

I hope you feel beetter soon. Don't worry too much about it, but do see your GP.

Do you have a husband or partner? If so, have they said anything about how you seem? What are things like when he's around?

Agree with all lankyalto says, you do sound very tired and down. You really need to get out with your ds, it will do you both good.

No-one's mentioned the library yet - DS loved the library throughout his pre-school years; I would take him there and read him stories, plus our local one had story time/activities for pre-schoolers (and their mums, obv) run by the library staff.

We went swimming at least once a week - I enrolled him for lessons when he was older (3) and got chatting to mums on the pool side while he had his lesson.

There will be toddler groups all over the place (churches are always a good place to start) - again, friends I made at a baby group, I still see once a week.

Find your nearest ducks! DS still loves walking down to our local ducks and feeding them at the age of 6.

Make an outing of going to get a few groceries - DS and I used to walk to Tesco and sometimes go to the cafe there or I'd buy him one of their cheap little toy cars so it was a bit more special for him.

I find the park mind-numbingly dull but he loves it - grit your teeth for half an hour's play there.

Play dough was a big favourite in this house as was splodgy painting.

If you worry about his diet, Annabel Karmel isn't loved by everyone but she does have some fail safe simple recipes which freeze well in toddler sized portions - pick up one of her books for loads of ideas.

Firstly it doesnt sound a pathetic post and here's a very un-mumsnet like

You sound like me a year ago. I prob had (still have PND) but have been totally stubborn in acknowledging it and have dragged myself kicking and screaming out of my hell hole my making a little routine during the week. It prob wont suit you but a least give you a few idea.

mon - we used to go to softplay for an hour between 10 and 11 which took care of the morning and then we were home for lunch. DS1 was so knackered he slept for a couple of hours by which time it was 3pm, had an hour of cbeebies and then it was time to start preparing tea. since met a friend at soft play so this has been replaced with meeting her

tues - rhyme time in the library at 10:45 and then see above for rest of the day

wed - nursery day and mummy time

thurs - go and visit elderly FIL and then see monday for afternoon

fri - food shop in morning and if nice, walk to local park and swings in afternoon.

Its not very exciting but it did keep me going.

as far as diet goes, my boys love pasta in any shape or form. same goes for sausages. baked beans are a good standby. you could microwave a potato and grate cheese over it. There are lots of simple nutritious meals that toddlers love.

Dont worry about the housework initially. It will all come together when you have move energy & motivation. I put a load of washing on every evening when my two go to bed, hang it on the airer about 8pm and its dry by the morning. I do this every night and this keeps on top of it.

lastly, remember mumsnet is always here for advice, help and to sound off.