Ridiculous things you've said to your kids!

[Lilybunny]

Yesterday I was in a real hurry to get out of the house and sent my dd (4) to quickly get ready. She came back dressed but moaning that she couldn't find a pair of socks. My response?
"Well just find some the same colour!".

It got me thinking about the daft stuff we say to our kinds, especially under pressure! I'd love to hear some more. Anyone want to share?

Not one from me but from mil to dh. They had bearly enough money to survive on and dh had just taken an apple from the kitchen. His mother shouted at him "do you think they grow on trees".

Said to my 3 yo DS the other day when he was whinging about getting dressed

'"Stop being such a baby"

But the best was from him to me & DH while we were have a barney about what clothes to put DD in and he said "Just calm down you two!"

DS, get out of the washing machine....

"You either come out of the cat's [travel] box now or I'll have to lock you in and you leave you there"

STOP BEING SO CHILDISH!

Keep them coming! LOL at Youknownothing.

I sometimes catch myself talking to 8 week old DD the same as 2yo DS, so if she's crying I might say "I'll just be a minute" and expect her to understand, or if we're all on the sofa and I'm feeding her "stop kicking your brother"

bump

"Don't you EVER, EVER, EVER, throw Goofy at the steering wheel again!"

Well, you try negotiating a crossroads with a lanky cartoon character tangled around your indicator stick.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I do want you to make the right choice.

I told DS that children who lie get black spots on their tongue.

Hullygully - was that to a very small baby?

"Have it if you want it but don't let me see you."

whilst dd was asking for second biscuit whilst we were sat round the kitchen table.Biscuit tin was in front of me.

Stop eating with your mouth full

Tidey - my friend told her lo that her tongue went blue when she lied. She was very when many years later she had to explain to a teacher why her dd kept on poking out her tongue to prove her honesty!

In the early days of DH2 DSS2 was about 6 and used to bolt his food like he was going to catch a train. One day when he was busily shovelling baked beans down his throat I told him he would choke if he carried on eating that rate. For the next 18 months every meal took at least 45 mins and he was the despair of us all. It wasn't until 12 or 13 yrs later he told us why he used to take so long. bigtime

3 children to Mummy,' Can we start Mummy?' 'No' says Mummy with mouth full.

Have, before now, heard myself say something daft to DD such as

"You had better eating those chips up before you can have dessert"

when dessert has been fresh fruit salad! Yes, because we all know that chips are so much more nutricious than fruit!!!

What are you doing? What are you, 3?
-Yes mummy.

I'm not going to ask you again to stop.
-Okay - carried on playing

My mum used to say to me when I lost anything; "If I find it before you do, you're in BIG trouble".
Why???!!! Surely it was just good it got found?!

LOL Lilybunny, I probably shouldn't say that again then, I don't fancy having to explain it to his rather scary teacher!

DD was just having a glass of milk and digestive biscuit before getting ready for bed, she was stalling so then I said 'go and eat your pyjamas!'

To 18 month old fruit-o-holic child after he'd eaten the best part of a bunch of grapes, "NO you can't have any more! Have a biscuit or something instead". Oops.

'Will you stop acting like a two-year-old!' to ds who is ....erm....two

ME: How many times have I told you not to do....

DD (5yrs): Three times?

(Drives me crazy them being so literal when young!)

ME: Don't answer me back!

(Der...but you've just asked them 'How many times....??!!'