Things you never knew about newborns until you had one

[SmallScrewCap]

I enjoyed this thread about pregnancy so much, and I'm missing the craic now that I've actually popped with number 2. I reckon there's enough mileage in newborn mysteries to generate another one. I'm also surprised that, even though I've done it before, I'd forgotten so many of the oddities of those first few weeks.

So...

I didn't realise that colostrum sick would be mustard yellow.

I didn't realise that, for AT LEAST a month post-natally, my clothing would always be moist in at least 3 different places at a time (either of my own or of the baby's doing).

That the first night I was able to go to bed without large pants and a massive pad under my pyjamas, I would be so relieved and overjoyed that I would report the fact to DH with almost as much joy as when the test was positive 10 (11?) months previously.

That the cute little baby puckering-up face, which looks like an invitation to move in close for a kiss, actually heralds a belching projectile vomit

That all my figure-flattering, dark-coloured maternity/post-natal wear would be streaked in baby smears of white, cream and yellow, forcing an eBay visit to buy a host of beige elasticated garments.

That its really common after a few weeks for their skin to go all dry and peely.
That if breastfed their face will get covered in loads of horrible acne type spots at about 1 month old that look awful but eventually just disappear. That If they are born with a full head of dark brown hair it can all fall out after a few months and they go bald before it grows back again!!

I didn't know baby boys willies look like little cones. I assumed they'd be miniature versions of adult ones.

i forgot about the acne but Jenat - you have reminded me of a rogue photo at about 8 weeks that is not the same of all other gorgeous soft skinned piccies

I never knew that it was common for babies to be born 'cross-eyed'. My DD looked at her nose with one eye for the first 4 days!

When they scatch themselves it looks serious but disappears quickly. And scratch mitts have a life of their own.

That sometimes it sounds like you've got a little old man sleeping next to you with all the grunting, wheezing and farting.

SmallScrewCap, my DS also did the side-to-side head thing, and the twatting himself in the face out of desperation to latch on

My newborn did a bright orange wee. Apparently it's quite normal/common, and is urate crystals from the bladder.

lol at these

that I would look like I was entering a wet t-shirt competition on a daily basis with the amount of fluids from baby and myself.

That a baby so teeny can and will projectile poo all over your face when you are changing their nappy.

smallscrewcap- i concur about the rooting reflex..was laughing for months about that one.

that you can function on 'auto' with very little sleep/food/showers...

that you can accumulate a weeks worth of washing in one day.

that you will wonder how such a tiny person can turn your world upside down but its the best feeling in the world.

they make so much noise when they sleep, it can keep you awake, all that snorting and snuffling

That sometimes they tremble and shake in their sleep. Mine did this and it scared me silly.

That little boys really do wee as soon as the nappy comes off.

That for a while, until a comment from DH in an injured tone brings you (briefly) back to earth, you can exist in such a bubble of love and completeness with your baby that the rest of the world could disappear and you might notice a week later.

That even little girls can pee upwards as soon as you take their nappy off.

That the feeling you get in the first few days is the most amazing feeling in the world, and is worth 9 awful months of pregnancy and a 36 hour labour. Can't really describe it, just complete overwhelming happiness, mixed with the smell of a newborn. IYKWIM.

They either smell of Heaven itself or like something the cat dragged in.

That they are actually born with their personality fully-formed rather than being blank slates as I always imagined.

I agree with alien - DS has the same personality now that he had as a newborn, and actually even when he was inside. He never kept still, ever

That they'll appear cross-eyed for quite some time - I was actually quite worried about it at one point

that our black haired newborn would turn into a golden blonde. how did that happen? What is the genetic process?

allnew- my dd has always known her own mind!

Mine projectile poo-ed up the sleave of my dressing-gown. Never knew that would happen.

That for the first 6 weeks she was only happy sleeping up against me if she could have her head in my armpit.

That your newborn will be fairly sleepy for a day or two - lulling you into a false sense of security - you feel smug that you've cracked sleeping at 2 days and then they wake up.......

oh not really newborn but if you have stitches a bath is the best thing ever and you have no problems peeing in it cos it doesn't hurt

That you pick them up and are in the middle of telling them they are the most beautiful baby in the world, then they projectile vomit in your mouth, and it doesn't bother you.

Oh yes, scrappy! I had that with DD, was feeling very smug and wiffling on to visitors about how skin-to-skin was keeping her calm, all very pfb. Then on the 3rd day I was hobbling returning from the toilet at the far end of the hospital ward, and heard a piercing wail that was both completely new and strangely familiar...

Yes, DD had found her lungs while I was having my first post-natal poo, and she was making the kind of noise that I would have been making if 28 years of social conditioning hadn't taught me not to scream blue murder in a toilet cubicle...

On the other hand, DS is nearly 6 weeks and continues to be so quiet and placid that I have to keep poking him to make sure he isn't a dolly.

alien - sounds just like DS. I was telling my mum how impatient he is and she said she wondered who he got that from

scrappy - yes, I had that smug feeling when DS was the best sleeper in the ward. Well, over a year later, and I can honestly say that last night was the first night he has slept through

I didn't know that a newborn will wee every time his nappy his opened
and I agree with the noises whilst sleeping- I found that very cute though

that a bf baby can go up to 2 weeks without pooing and a week in between is fairly normal