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Parenting

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Original poster

mum's who stopped with 2 children of same sex.... esp boys...

18 replies

loopyleila · 20/09/2009 07:41

how is it now? what are their ages? do you wish you had gone for that 3rd? are you glad you stopped then?

your thoughts and experiences will be much appreciated during this stressful time..

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 20/09/2009 08:01

2 boys - 7y this week and 3.8y.
I'm glad I have 2 boys, I would like another, or more, children - but it isn't going to happen.

aGalChangedHerName · 20/09/2009 08:01

I had 2 boys who were 9 and 13 so i had stopped i suppose. We went for a 3rd and had dd1 then as there was such a big gap had dd2 too.

The boys are fab with the dd's (especially ds1 who is now 18) and are good at helping out and ds1 babysits a lot for us.

I can't now imagine not having the 4 of them. It would feel strange to have the boys on their own. I am glad we had the dd's.

Are you thinking about having a 3rd?

TheMysticMasseuse · 20/09/2009 08:11

what if you have another boy? could you live with that (of course you could, but you know what i mean...).

i have 2 dds. i always dreamed of having 3 boys. i am still really broody for a third who, of course, would be a boy. dh not so keen though.

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Salsavita · 20/09/2009 08:11

I have two boys 12 and 10. Would have liked to have had a third (dd) but have left it too late now. Should have done it when the boys were smaller.

Body clock wise - I am 44, so it is possible. But, the boys are so independent now and it would literally be like starting over again...

I do think about it quite a lot tbh. DH not keen at all, but that doesn't mean to say he wouldn't come round if I badgered him enough or if an "accident" were to occur!

I have also started a new job - daytime. Part time, term time only in a secondary school and it is fab. I have done evening work for the last 8 years so that I have always been at home for them and of course it did not incur any childcare costs.

What is your situation?

Georgimama · 20/09/2009 08:18

You should be aware that if you have 2 children of the same gender (and no other children of the opposite gender first) then your chances of having the opposite gender 3rd time around are not 50/50. It's much much lower.

I only have a DS at the mo, we really want to have another child. I am perfectly prepared for the possiblity that my second will be a boy (my mum had 2 sons in a row, so did her mum and so did DH's mum) and I have no intention of having a third whether 2nd child is a boy or a girl.

llareggub · 20/09/2009 08:19

I have 2 boys who are 3 and 5 months. I have a strong feeling that we'll have another child. I'd love 3 boys. I've no wish to have another child just to have a DD; the urge is to have a child. Having said that, I'd prefer a boy for all sorts of practical reasons but obviously a girl would be wonderful too.

We'll see how we feel with DS2 is around 2 years old I think.

ssd · 20/09/2009 08:27

2 BOYS AGED 8 AND 11 ( caps on oops!)

never wanted more, couldn't handle more!

Jojay · 20/09/2009 08:37

I've got 2 boys - 2.9 and 10 mths.

I was adamant that I was having a third, (and yes, I probably hoped it would be a girl) right up until a month or so ago, but now I've completely gone off the idea.

My change of heart exactly coincided with me stopping bfing Ds2 and I'm sure it was some weird hormonal thing.

I've now returned to work and the practicalities, financial implications etc of having 3 have started to hit me.

The desire to have a girl has passed too. I have a god daughter and that's enough for me - I get my fix of pink stuff buying for her!

Kids are individuals and will grow into the people that we mould them into. Gender is only one factor, IMHO

Of course I may change my mind again - DH is fairly open minded on the subject and is open to persuasion if I wanted a third, but I'm happy with my boys for now

Pitchounette · 20/09/2009 08:46

Message withdrawn

LeonieSoSleepy · 20/09/2009 09:19

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

loopyleila · 20/09/2009 09:21

thanks ladies for prompt responses.

we have 2 ds's, 3.5yrs and 10 months, i would love to have a third child (boy or girl) i come from family of 5 children, and dh is supportive of what i want, however he wants us to start trying now and if it doesn't happen in the next 6 months (yes i know !) that's it... we live happily ever after with our boys.

dh turns 41 in december and is refusing to be an older dad than he already is, i am 38, ideally would like to wait until ds2 is sleeping better, ds1 is in school etc but my fertility is diminishing (have had it checked)... to be honest we are both so shattered right now with the 2 my head is like mush.

the sensible me with my sleep deprived mindset says, be happy with our 2 gorgeous boys keep my legs shut but the head in the clouds me looks into the future and see our family with 3 children, not 2 who sleep well, feed, dress themselves, have proper conversations with us etc etc......

although it's hard i keep telling myself they won't be babies and toddlers forever hence my thread to you lovely "fast forward a few years later ladies" ..

its all so confusing but i hope you ladies can understand.

thanks again x

OP posts:

LadyOfTheFlowers · 20/09/2009 09:29

I can't help, well maybe....
I have 3 boys, everything is fine. I am preg with no.4 - only 10+3 tho so don't know if t's another boy, but am expecting it to be.

My boys are 4, 3 and 9 months.

Highlander · 20/09/2009 09:30

2 boys, 5 and nearly 3.

Maintain the man-on-man marking. There's no way I'd have any more

LadyOfTheFlowers · 20/09/2009 09:41

Each time you have another baby of the same sex in succession, it does NOT lower your chances dramatically of having the other sex.

Here is a study another MNer gave me to read:
www.in-gender.com/xyu/Odds/Gender_Odds.aspx

It is indeed decreased, but not by much.

Georgimama · 20/09/2009 11:43

I'm not sure what you're ing at me for. That staudy shows that 56% of women who have had 2 boys will have a third boy and not a girl (rather than 50% of women who have a girl and a boy already). And it increases the more children you have of the same gender.

50% to 56% is an increase in your odds of over 10%. I think that is pretty substantial. Put it this way, if you desperately don't want a child of the same gender, it's not odds I would recommend chancing.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 20/09/2009 23:12

Sorry - pregnancy hormones - I thought 'much much' lower was slightly excessive, that's all.

The percentage that applies to me is 6.4% more likely, which I didn't think was much.

ChookKeeper · 20/09/2009 23:26

2 girls 15 and 12. Both dh and I are one of three (different three of course ) and both agreed that when we were each growing up there was always an odd one out. So for us it was 2 or 4 - well we had 2 and decided that was it.

Never wanted to try for another. I did ask dh a few years ago if would like us to try for boy but he said he was more than happy with 2dds (thank god for that!!!).

I think you know when your 'done' and for us there's no chance now 'cos dh has had the snip.

My mom always wanted another child but dad put his foot down because they did really struggle financially (I was a little 'surprise' 6 years after db2)but even to this day she wishes she'd have had a 4th and dad thinks that although it was the 'right' decision at the time he should never have denied her that fulfillment (they are in their 70s now).

So if you really want another then I'd say go for it now before it's too late and whilst your dcs are all young together.

hatwoman · 20/09/2009 23:47

I had 2 dds and I've always thought that I'd have been more likely to go for a third if I'd had one of each. for me there's something too even and symmetrical about one of each (obviously nonsense I know). and i've always thought (coming from a family of 3) that the best gender combination would be to have the eldest and youngest of one gender, and the middle one of the other iyswim. then they each have a very obvious special status (pfb, last baby, and the only boy/girl).

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