has anyone ever successfully forced the issue??!

[dot1]

sigh... our ds is 3 1/2 and is still in nappies. He knows when he's going to wee and poo, now asks to be changed after each wee because he doesn't like it in his nappy and is driving us MAD because he refuses point blank to even try using the potty or toilet. We've done everything to try to get him trained - star charts, chocolate jar, promises of new toys, tickets to see Thomas TTE etc.etc. But we're reaching the crunch time where he's starting pre-school in September and needs to be dry during the day! He's incredibly bright and thoughtful and has told us he doesn't want to be a big boy, he wants to stay a baby and so will never wear pants.

So, we're thinking about going cold turkey in a few weeks time and basically telling him one morning that that's it - no nappies - regardless of how much he screams, tantrums etc (and he will...). Has anyone else ever got to this stage and has it worked (quickly....!!!)??

do you take his pants off inside the house-completly no nappy -if so what happens
my ds (2.5) is nearly trained and this is what i did with him stuck a potty in the room showed(not literally!) what it was for and left him to it with no pants ! -it didnt take him long to cotton on and he uses the toilet ok too
i am stalling on letting him go nappy free but this is because i cant be bothed coping with the accidents (what more washing!) but im going to have to bite the bullet soon and let him wet his pants a few times
i think that yes you should just take his nappy off as apparantly its that wet feeling that teaches them to use the loo/tell you they need to go.i think without it they will just carry on happily using their nappy !!
happy pottying dot1-good luck!

sorry bout all the spelling mistakes i just cant be a**ed

someone posted about taking their child to the shop and buying the 'last ever pack of nappies' .. then counting them down with the child

then going to shop and buying pants with favourite character on (you'd need lots to begin with)

then when you run out of nappies, you run out .. no more .. ever

it sounded a pretty good approach to me

good luck dot

sorry bout all the spelling mistakes i just cant be a**ed

this may be easier said than done but if i were you try not to make too big an issue out of it just do it hide all the nappies and if he asks for one tell him theres none and leave him to it

Yes I think you should go cold turkey, but I wouldn't just say "no nappies", but instead say "oh no the nappies are finished, I'm afraid you'll have to wear these really nice underpants" (perhaps Thomas the Tank Engine ones, or whichever character he likes).

my sister had a similar problem and she has to gradually intro him to the toilet. she started reading him a book , not even a page at first though, with them both sitting on the toilet and gradually built it up to no pants on her knee on the toilet and finally on the toilet himself. wosdrked for them. hth

oh sorry if i sound wicked and cruel saying NO NAPPIES !!
of course buy him some trendy undies and he should buzz of wearing them.my ds likes wearing 'pants like daddy' (cept daddys dont have thomas/noddy/bob on b4 you ask !)

My DS (4) also saidand still saysthat he doesn't want to be a 'big boy', or to 'grow up'. But bribing him with a lovely pack of Bob the Builders pants from Woolies made giving up the nappies easy at around 3 and a half, as I said he couldn't wear the Bob pants until all the nappies were finished. Weeing in the right place, ie, potty, toilet, or tree if we are in the park, has never been a problem, but as for poo...hmm...I don't have any magic answers on that one! Except to say, backing off and chilling out has been far more helpful than trying to reason with him.

i agree... just STOP the nappies.... he can scream and shout all he wants...

YOU need to decide that what ever day it si IS the day and that YOU wont give in! As long as YOU DONT give in you will be fine, but if you do it will be even harder 'next' time.

Get some nice pants (let him choose etc) then start the star charts etc! He sounds ready so will probably master it in a week!

thanks all - I agree, once we're over the hard first couple of days I reckon he'll get it inside a week. He's got his pants - he chose them - but just gets sooooo upset if we even suggest he wears them- even for a few minutes. We've said he can wear pants but then have a nappy when he wants to do a wee/poo, but even that made him upset.

sigh. I think we'll just have to go for it - we're going on holiday in a few weeks, so I think the week after that (gulp).

The problem with saying "no nappies" is what do you do at nighttime...?

And we can't really say "no nappies" because ds2 is unfortunately in the same size as ds1 and so there are packets of them everywhere!

Soupy - the ironic thing is he's usually dry at night - completely dry nappy most mornings...

hi there. I have to say I'm not sure about taking a cold turkey approach with an unwilling child - it sounds as though things are already a bit confrontational and if you start off with it as a battle I think you may lose - remember ultimately he has to WANT to do it, and he can choose whether or not to cooperate - if he knows it is something that winds you up, he might just carry on using it as such. i think somehow you have to create a positive motivation.
Does he go to a chidlminder or nursery? Does he see his peers using the potty/toilet? Have you talked about needing to use pants for preschool, and is this something he wants to do? Do you think it is fear/anxiety, or is there a jealousy thing goign on?
Sorry, not much help, I'm just aware that really the motivation has to come from him. What happened when you tried before with rewards?

Take him to look round the pre school, and get the teacher to tell him he can't come and play with the toys until he wears pants.

hmm, if he's dry in the morning it does sound as though physically he is likely to be ready, and you probably will be able to stop using nappies completely.

Is there something he really really wants to do that you can say is impossible if he's in nappies? or not a "big boy". The problem with the preschool one is if he turns round and says "I didn't want to go anyway"

Yes, in answer to dot's original question. None of my children showed any interest in the potty and only when playgroup loomed did I do anything about it. They were all ppotty trained relatively painlessly within a couple of weeks. Have to remember that as I embark on number four this summer ready for playgroup in September!

hi dot1 how old is your ds2 if he is over 2 maybe you could do them together.maybe he does not want to be a big boy because his brother is wearing nappies.Otherwise yes i would just take them away he will soon get sick of having wet trousers.Do you change his nappy when he says it is wet.I would leave him in it because if it is wet and heavy it wont be very nice.Try just trousers or shorts no pants,or would he rather have boxers my son never liked pants he said they were girls.So from aged 2.5 he has wore boxers.

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we're really laid back about accidents and have told him it's fine if he has accidents, but he's terrified... ds2 is only 13 months so we can't train them together (he's just really big and happens to be in the same size nappies!). ds1 does go to nursery 2 days a week and sees his friends going to the toilet (he's the only one in nappies now in his class) but this doesn't help - even knowing his best friend will be moving up a class and he can't until he's dry doesn't seem to help.

aarrgghh! Really not sure what to do. He definitely doesn't WANT to be toilet trained, but there's no doubt physically he's ready. And there's the pressure re: pre-school and the oldest nursery class.

We'll keep umming and aahing about it for another few weeks I think, but any other/more suggestions gratefully received - it's good to know others have been there, done that and come out the other side..!

no advice dot, just sympathy, my ds, 3 and a half is exactly the same, he has a drawer full of character pants but refuses to wear them, wants his nappies, he also says he does'nt want to be a big boy he is still a baby. He goes to nursery every afternoon but isin't at all bothered that all the other children are going to the tiolet and not him, he won't even enter the tiolets there. He will sit on his potty for a few minutes but hardly ever produces anything, i've tried sticker charts too but he got fed up with themn. i'm just glad that he will be nearly 5 when he starts school so i've got more time to get him trained. good luck.

my dd2 is 2 and 8 months and is exactly the same. as she is a bit younger i am going to try not to worry about it for 6 weeks or so.

She has no interest in 'being a big girl' in fact finds the idea repugnant. She did a poo on the potty about a month ago and was horrified and refuses to go near a potty now. She can go without a nappy for hours and knows when she needs a wee or poo.

She needs to be trained for kindergarten in September, but tbh I am just going to send her and let them deal with all the accidents...

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Alibubbles, where are you? I need a good childminder and one who potty trains must be worth her weight in gold!