getting angry

[purplepassion]

I have found myself getting really angry with ds(6) I find myself shouting at him for what are on the whole minor things I know that I am doing it but find it very hard to calm down. When I have calmed down I feel really guilty.

Oh you poor thing. Don't beat yourself up about this, you're already taking steps to change this by posting.

What is your situation, ar you a single parent, with partner? do you work out of teh home as well as in it? Do you have support etc?

I'm thinking you might be stressed and tense and tired and taking out these things on him and don't mean to.

i'm single parent working can you believe in childcare, i have a little support from my dad but majority of it falls on me

I don't think what you do for a living comes into it. I really feel for you. Life is hard and you have every right to feel angry. If your partner was still around you could take out the stresses and strains of life on him, but he isn't so your son gets it a bit. It's so normal afaic. Having said you'd take it out on your partner if he was around you wouldn't be so stressed and tired maybe is he was around!

So - practical help. Hmmmm, well you need more sleep, more you time for one.

Do you have a good routine going that makes mornings, bedtimes etc as hassle free as is possible with a little one?

mornings and bedtimes arent a massive problem its more when he doesn't do what ive asked him to do first time and i find doing reading homework really stressful

god i sound like an ogre

Have you tried counting to ten. I do that as a) it gives me time to think before I get cross and b) they just always seem to do what I've asked before I get to 10 so rarely have to follow it through.

My younger son is a handful and about the same age as your DS and I always talk to him about what I expect and why he needs to listen and do what I'm asking. It lasts for a bit before we have to have another little chat, but it makes me feel better about handling him and he seems to respond well to it, at least for a while.

I think the most important thing here is YOU time. Good sleep. Healthy food.

Have you tried rescue remedy spray for when you feel very stressed?

You need to have calm chilled time and also maybe a sport of some type, something you can pound away the weeks stress into.

just on a particular point - in the same position as you 3 years ago i didn't do very much reading at all with my ds. it was just too stressful for both of us. i told his teacher, she said don't do it if it's making him unhappy. his reading is fine now, he's a perfectly fluent reader. i still get outrageously cross about things (ingratitude, asking for crisps ALL THE TIME, laziness, rudeness) but i think it's better than it was. good luck.

have tried counting to 3 maybe 10 would be better what is rescue remedy spray i've never heard of it i haven't got childcare to be able to undertake any extra activities even though i would love to

thanks Lovely i really thought i was the only one who lost it during reading

Hi there

I have been struggling with my temper with my two children and started a telephone parenting course with Parentline last night.

www.parentlineplus.org.uk

Really hoping that it helps me to be more effective in dealing with my own anger and the children's.

May be worth a try?