Have I been too hard on 5yo DD1, it's breaking my heart seeing her so upset.

[sweetkitty]

DD1 is 5yo just started school a few weeks back.

Anyway she has always had this habit of biting and chewing things, in the past it was books, paper, pencil, chalk, crayons, Barbie's fingers you get the drift. She will put anything non food in her mouth and eat it, the day before yesterday she was doing her homework and bit the end of the rubber off and was eating it.

On top of this I feel she does not take care of her toys, she breaks and wrecks things and shows no remorse, probably as she has loads of other toys.

Anyway she gets £1 a week pocket money which she saves up for what she wants, she has been going on about this little Bratz baby for ages so I got it off the internet for her. So yesterday it arrived and she was delighted. Then I looked out the window and she is throwing this new doll and her other ones down the street so I called her in and took teh dolls off her then realised the hair bit at the tops of them both was all chewed off (she had had it for about an hour). I was livid with her so I got all her other Bratz and put them in a black bag and put them in the wheelie bin, I told her that if she cannot look after her toys she won't have any toys and that Santa was watching and wouldn't br bringing her any toys for Christmas.

She was distraught at the time and in bed last night, ths morning when she got up she was crying a lot saying she wanted her Bratz back and I could see her eyes filling up all the time.

Now I feel totally crap, I have retrieved the Bratz from the bin and hidden them and I am not going to give her them back for a month at least but I feel like crap Mum now.

Was I too hard on her, I am so fed up with buying things and her chewing them.

OMG yes you have been way to harsh on her,

that said my son had a huge tantrum when i took a harry potter wand of him and said he couldn't have it back till tomorrow after he hit me with it

i would definately have punished her for spoiling the brand new doll and taken it away for a day or so - but as someone else said she has a habit of chewing it is very very hard to stop yourself from doing that,my daughter was a little ocd at one point so i know how frustrating it is but i doubt she can help it at 5yrs old.

i don't think it hurts to back down as a parent and explain that you were very upset that she had spoilt the new doll and you lost your temper, perhaps just give her one or two dolls back?

sorry didn't read all of thread till i'd posted just skimmed back and seen you'd already sorted it.

Look, you must take this child to the doctor. This isn't normal naughtiness. It could be pica or it could be some kind of OCD or, as others have suggested, a mineral deficiency. But if she's eating cat litter then it's a serious health hazard.

Another one adding PLEASE take her to the GP.
She must be checked out properly before you can even begin to think about how to deal with this.

If you're seriously worried take her but personally I've seen many kids chewing like this when teaching and ds5 does the same as I mentioned before. He was a major chewer when teething and has recently started again, I'm wondering if it's something to do with his milk teeth getting ready to fall out.

Several girls in his class chewed holes in cardigans etc so it really is quite common. DS is very skinny so he had a load of tests done for that and he had no deficiency. If she's a normal lively 5 year old lively I wouldn't panic.

As I said before we're clamping down on ds regardless if he can't help it as I don't want him choking.

I hope you didn't think my last post was too judgy, I only mentioned the Santa thing as he's v big in our house and I'd hate my dc to think they were one of the 'naughty' kids and give themselves a label. I'm queen of stuff ups so I'd hate for you to think I thought you were a bad parent because I definitely don't.

I've just sent dtwin2 to school without a Shrek biscuit(his twin and dd had one in theirs)in his lunch bag as he keeps butting into adult conversations and it's driving me bananas. Keep thinking of him opening his lunch box at lunchtime .Can't help thinking I've just stuffed up on this too

Take her to the GP, but do not stress unduly before re pica/deficiency.

My DD has dyspraxia, she is 9 (10 in 2 mths), she still puts stuff in her mouth. For her it is linked to requiring sensory feedback, it drives me nuts.

Regular conversation, "what are you chewing?" DD, "a bit of fluff/wool/whatever." Me, "where did you get it?" DD, "The floor/my pocket/don't know."

She has neither anemia or pica, it is a common part of a sensory/developmental co-ordination issues.

My DD is always losing, breaking or being clumsy with things too.

Ds does not chew, but does suck his thumb (age 6) a lot. We have been totally unable to stop this. He has recently started seeing a speech therapist who referred him to an OT for generally poor motor control. The consensus seems to be that he "needs" to suck his thumb as part of his process of developing core stablity. Just wondered if this could be in anyway relevant to your dd - maybe she "needs" to chew as an outlet for anxiety or as part of her development process. Very annoying though I agree.

I too have lost it with my dcs at times and done things I later regret. I hope that once I have apologies, when they are older, they understand that mummy is just a person too and gets things wrong. I cannot remember a single instance from my own childhood where my mother apologised and I have held it against her.

Sweetkitty - have you thought about getting her a specific thing to chew like a bracelet. Along these lines? It might help to give her something specific to chew on.

FWIW, I think I used to do the chewing thing quite a lot as a child - my cardigan sleeves, pen tops, paper etc No idea why!

agree with milamae lots of children chew
(very annoying it is too!)

Sorry just getting back to this thread, DD1 got all her dolls back yesterday.

I do think the chewing and eating things she shouldn't is more of a habit than a mineral deficiency as she also sucks her thumb and has started biting her nails, I don't even think she knows she is doing it. I will take her to the GP though and get her checked out. I am going easy on her and most of the time when I catch her chewing I will just say "DD1 you are chewing that, take it out your mouth"

The cat litter incident was a while ago and was only once or twice, I did go mad at her for that but for her safety. Crayons/pencils/chalk and stones seem to have calmed down a bit in the past year too.

The punishment was just not for the chewing but for the throwing the dolls up and down the street as well.