Am I making DS do too much?

[PringleMunster]

DS1 is 12 and he's currently involved in a lot of after school activities and doesnt have much free time.

He is at karate twice a week, swimming every sunday morning and youth club twice a week. The one days he gets 'off' are saturday and Wednesday night.

He wants to join junior gym but just can't fit it in.

He moans that he never gets any time to himself but if he were not doing these things I know he'd just be glued to his PC all night.

Am I being unfair? He has also joined a few after school clubs himself: drama and computer club.

Sounds like a lot to me. When does he do homework and relax ? imho If he wants to do gym then he drops something else.

You might be being unfair.

And you need to think about why your DS spends his free time on the PC. DSS2 has strong inclinations that way, and it is because he is shattered most of the time and cannot manage more than TV/computer/handheld console while lounging on the sofa.

I don't see anything wrong with some PC time. Does he want to do all this stuff? What are his choices?

By 12 I think they ought to choose their own activities. My dd is 13 and very busy but that's how she likes it. I keep on suggesting she drops an activity, but she doesn't want to, and while she's fitting in the homework I'm letting her get on with it.

I do insist on most Sundays being quiet at home days, though.

I would let him drop what he wants to drop and take up gym.

Is there anything so terribly wrong with spending an evening on the PC? It does sound like he's doing an awful lot- - if he's not actually keen on these activities, then what are you teaching him about choosing how to spend his time? Just that being busy is "good for you"?

Children do need some wind-down time, same as the rest of us. Yes there are some adults who want to be active every waking moment, but they are the exception not the norm.

I would let him swap one of the activities for gym, if that's something he wants to do instead.

I think they need an evening with the PC-just to relax! I insisted that mine had swimming lessons, because I think it is an essential life skill, but other than that they chose what they wanted to do.