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Parenting

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Original poster

How to discipline 20mo in public??

13 replies

christmasmum · 26/08/2009 19:11

Just looking for any advice and tips (or alternatively reassurance that this is the same for everyone and I'm not being a rubbish mum!) on ways to discipline a toddler in public.

At home we use a naughty step-esque approach and she has a time out where I sit her down for a minute, usually staying in the same room but with my back to her.

But what can I do in public??! My DD was playing up in Homebase, pulling paint cans off shelves, sitting herself down on floor, screaming etc. I know she was bored and trying to get attention because we were looking at paint samples, and I KNOW we should have had her in the buggy in the first place... BUT! I eventually picked her up off the floor and she went to hit my face which I really don't want to let her think is OK.

Don't want to smack her, can't exactly give her a time out and if I wait till she gets home she'll have forgotten all about it. So what can I do? Learn my lesson and always have her in the buggy till she's about 14?!

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EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 26/08/2009 19:13

don't take her to paint shops. jesus she is not even two and you expect her to sit quietly discussing the merits of farrow and ball.

TreeTrunkThighs · 26/08/2009 19:13

I think supernanny does time out on your knee facing away from you. Not something I've tried but worth considering if she responds well to time out at home, perhaps?

choufleur · 26/08/2009 19:15

we did the time out holding thing. you can do time out in shops (you just need skin like a rhino for when people stare at you)

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rubyslippers · 26/08/2009 19:17

i think i would play up in homebase ...

best thing to do is strap her into the pushchair and ignore the shouts and screams (if it has been going on a long time)

toddlers have tantrums - it happens

she doesn't really get the whole why hitting is bad thing yet - a low, stern voice saying "no" firmly is good when she does do somehting like that

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 26/08/2009 19:18

you need to plan trips to boring places. take snacks and wee toys to entertain but bear in mind you have to leave when they are pissed off. they are too young to understand why they can't play with things and certainly too young to understand why you are ignoring them.

honestly you lots with your freaky public time outs

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/08/2009 19:22

Put her in the buggy and give her a drink, snack and book/toy.

Original poster

christmasmum · 26/08/2009 19:26

EleanorBuntingCupcake - how can someone with such a nice name be so mean!

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allaboutme · 26/08/2009 19:26

pop her in the trolley or her buggy and take some snacks, drinks and little toys for her to hold.
She is not being naughty, she is just being a 20mo.

pania · 27/08/2009 22:24

I think 20 months old is too young for any kind of discipline. She's not deliberately misbehaving - her self control at that age is negligible.

I would just avoid situations where she can do things you don't want her to, or be prepared to clean up afterwards. As she gets older you'll be able to teach her what's appropriate behaviour, she doesn't need to be disciplined from day one. She's not ready for that yet.

EyeballsintheSky · 27/08/2009 22:27

I'm not sure about that pania. My 19 month old dd is pretty sure of when she is misbehaving. The look she gives me when she's doing something is so brazen, I would lay money on her knowing exactly what she's doing!

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/08/2009 22:28

drink/snack/dummy etc

why would you take a 20mo to Homebase and not have her in a buggy/trolley?

DD is 21mo - she gets like this if I don't pay attention to her when out. Ignore the bad, and distract. I think 20mo is too young for time outs as well.

Hope you don't see this as mean but I think you're expecting too much of her for such a young age.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/08/2009 22:31

oh, and yes - a lot of toddlers know exactly what they're doing at this age .. DD certainly does. Disciplining does nothing to help the situation - she just doesn't understand. Doing something silly, producing a toy/book, pretending to hide etc etc all the silliness you can get away with in public tbh - better than having to deal with a tantrum.

Better first - don't take her to Homebase.

Supercherry · 28/08/2009 09:02

Christmasmum, I think you need to lower your expectations. If I go anywhere like food shopping or B&Q with DS, 19mths, I keep it as short as possible and take snacks, toys, and I always keep a lollipop in my bag if all else fails.

Your DD is not pulling tins of paint off shelves because she is being naughty, she is doing it because she can and she is curious and she is learning. If she gets a reaction from you then in her mind, even better!

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