5 week old will not stop crying unless I hold him. Any ideas??

[Cillapops]

Please help! My 5 week old son cries almost constantly unless I hold him in which case he stops almost immediately. He is not hungry or ill and has a fresh nappy. He won't settle in a bouncy chair or cot. The car works but obviously I can't do that all the time as I have things to do and a toddler to look after.

Anyone else had a similar problem and any ideas how to stop him crying?

If the crying is colic-related, I used homeopathic drops on my DS3 - just one a day and it really calmed him down. Thought it was a coincidence, until I ran out.....! Definitely second the getting out as much as possible - everything seems so much easier with some friends and a coffee.

Sling! I had an almost 3 year old and a newborn at the same time too, I just had the newborn in the huggababy sling pretty much all the time!

There's nothing wrong with your baby wanting to be held all the time, it's completely natural, so please don't think there is. I know it's hard, but before long things will settle down and you'll find it gets easier.

I second what Naomi83 says think you need to make sure that reflux isn't an issue. My LO suffered terribly from it when she was 5 weeks until about 6months. Thankfully she grew out of it when she was weaned. She's now 10 months and mostly ok. I really feel for you it's really hard work when they're screaming and you've got other toddlers to look after. I've got a 4 and 3 year old as well. I found a swing an absoulte godsend and she slept in this for all naps. Good luck hugs x

you have to buy a magic swing! one of those fisher price thing, a godsend!

both of mine were like this. It was hard.... heaven help you, I wouldn't go back there.

I used to be able to get maybe 15 minutes of peace if I put dc2 next to the dishwasher went it was on, I do remember that though.

Sling sling sling! Wished I'd done it with ds1, did it with DS2 and he was a much much happier baby, more independent now and a better sleeper still at 2 than DS1 ever has been.

He was a big boy too, 9'1 at birth, grew like a bastard!

I had a kari-me, it was ace.

i feel your pain.

i got a pair of really good ear plugs, and watched my favourite dvd/tv with the subtitles switched on, and i really managed to zone out from the crying.

when it's your second, you know no baby ever died from crying..and that there's an end in sight. both mine were really wingey babies as well. it's tough. try and avoid anyone with settled, easy babies as it's enough to drive you crazy with envy and bitterness!

I'm not sure whether anyone has actually already said this, but an out of tune radio for white noise or a fan or even hoovering whilst DD was in the sling all helped.

Good luck. At least you know it will pass!

Seconding Colief - fantastic stuff - saved my sanity (expensive but available on prescription if it works for you. Worth trying.

Fifthing cranial osteopathy - we found it really helpful.

Yes to a vibrating chair too - battery powered, mimics the motion of a car seat.

And yes to a snuggly sling.

Best of luck. Been there and it isn't fun. It does get better (usually at about 13 weeks) but don't just sit there until then, do try some of the ideas out on this thread.

Cranial osteopath worked fantastically here too.

I remember leaving the hoover running while I did my other children's supper too.

Nanga "I got a pair of really good ear plugs, and watched my favourite dvd/tv with the subtitles switched on, and I really managed to zone out from the crying."

Are you for real?? I am horrified, even if it's a joke it's not funny!

As for it not harming your baby, yes it does! Poor babies

greenmonkies - that article is about harm done by stress rather than crying.

I feel 5 weeks is too small to be left to cry but my DS would never have learned to sleep had he not been left to cry when he woke in the night just wanting attention circa 6 months. We don't know how old nanga's baby was.

Oooooh yes, I remember my DD crying every evening non stop for about 6 hours and she cried every time we put her down or tried to get her to sleep anywhere except on me or DH at any other time of day too. This stopped at about week 14.

We found The Sleepy Head white noise CD worked a treat (try googling it I guess) - it has 4 types of white noise for 72 minutes. I remember one bad day when I rocked her for probably 12 hours whilst listening to the recording of the dishwasher on loud for that entire time. Not sure why I didn't go completely loopy!

We also used a sling a lot.

Oh, and you might find the bit in the Dr Sears The Baby Book which is about high needs babies really useful - I know I did as it made me feel like it wasn't my fault or that I was doing anything wrong and that it was just the way DD was wired.

I really hope it gets better soon for you and wish you lots of luck in the meantime in finding ways to manage this and a toddler at the same time.

I wonder if the ear plug trick would work with my toddler?

I had a similar baby. She is now 2 and still sleeps well through the night but is incredibly vocal during the day (speaking, singing and crying!) When she was a baby people used to stop and turn around every time she cried because it sounded so heartfelt and angry - not like normal new born cries. My MIL nicknamed her La Furiosa. Anyway, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Loud babies turn into vibrant children.

Back to the issue: I bought something called a Sleep Sheep and used it in her carry cot. It is essentially a toy sheep that makes soothing white noises. I bought the travel version as it is a more convenient size. Its made by a company called Cloud 9 and you can buy it over the internet. She still uses it every night and when we are on holidays it provides a nice trigger for sleep in strange surroundings.

My friend used cranial osteo with great results. I never got around to trying it as I was too frazzled!

I also found that the sling worked a treat, although it was a bit sore after a c-section. Totally worth the peace and quiet though.

And finally, pushing the pram around the park. The toddler can come along for a walk (unless they prefer to be in the buggy too) and you can end up at the play park once the baby is sleeping.

Good luck and remember = It will go away. You are doing great.

Sling

Swaddle.

Easy!! (If only........)

cillapops only one thing ever worked for my newborns and that was the sound of the vacuum cleaner being left on

Mine was the same. I carried/held him in a ring sling or a kari-me wrap, and if I absolutely HAD to put him down for a minute or two, I left the Dyson running next to his Moses basket. I tried a white noise CD, a womb-sounds CD and even a recording of the Dyson (to save having to cart it up and down teh stairs) but they didn't work - it had to be the actual Dyson, with the vibrations and the heat as well as the noise! I know these days are overwhelming and exhausting and sometimes claustrophobic, but they do pass. It's normal for babies to want and need close contact - it's a survival mechanism.

('Ear plugs'?! )

Regular blasts of Chopin worked intermittently here.

The sling is good, but sometimes I wanted to be able to put my baby down. How about a buggy? I used to rock/push the buggy around the house, whilst I did tidying/admin/light housework.

Gosh memories, my dd just turned a teen but she could wail and wail as a newborn. I feel for you I do. It will pass, they do get better, may take time. I just acknowledged that this was how it was, and she was fine, not in danger.

Dummy helped. Cut first tooth at 3 months. Urm lots oty repeat as others have suggested, like leaving the hoover on, going in the car, carry in sling, big bean bag, she loved to nap in that, warm, cosy around her. Also she liked to be held in a certain way so she could look around, not the best picture to show, but one I found was this (while pacing up and down at 4am one morning)example pic od laying over your arm I used to support her head with my my other arm underneath. I'd rock her like this and she would stop. Also she liked Ben Folds Five played very loudly!

I suppose I was lucky as she was my first, so didn't know babies could be easy. The second one was easy peasy and hardly cried at all.

wotzy, now that your dcs are older, in terms of personality, do you think the way they were as babies reflect on how they have now turned out? What do you think made your first more difficult than your second (ruling out medical reasons)?

dd1 still sleepwalks, talks in sleep and is sometimes hyper active at night. Second lays as flat as a pancake and wakes up in same position, no movement. I have no idea if their baby sleeping patterns or crying makes any difference to who they turn out to be as adults, they are their own little personalities right from birth, they were different as babies and still are in many ways. dd1 has a clam nature and is generally more sensitive to others emotions. Both have a lot of empathy, but dd1 has far more.

I haven't read your replies but your DS might have reflux? My DD cried almost constantly for the first 3 months, esp when lying flat, eg on a change mat. At about 5-6 weeks the vomiting started but you don't necessarily get vomiting with reflux. They can have "silent reflux". Apologies if this has already been covered!

Thanks wotzy. Both dd and ds were velcro babies so I have no 'control' to compare against. At almost 6 and 3, they are like any other child of their age, though I notice they are 'people' persons. Perhaps that is why they preferred to be in close contact with me as babies. Just musing.