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Parenting

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Original poster

5 week old will not stop crying unless I hold him. Any ideas??

97 replies

Cillapops · 18/08/2009 11:50

Please help! My 5 week old son cries almost constantly unless I hold him in which case he stops almost immediately. He is not hungry or ill and has a fresh nappy. He won't settle in a bouncy chair or cot. The car works but obviously I can't do that all the time as I have things to do and a toddler to look after.

Anyone else had a similar problem and any ideas how to stop him crying?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TamTam29 · 18/08/2009 13:29

oh year i forgot - i too would reccomend a cranial osteo,

DS2 is seeing one at the moment as being so big he got bit squashed inside me

SoupDragon · 18/08/2009 13:35

Cranial osteopathy turned my snuffly reasonably chilled newborn into an unsettled clingon.

dinkystinky · 18/08/2009 13:38

Eek Soupdragon - that doesnt sound right! Hope your clingon has returned to chilled mode again.

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SoupDragon · 18/08/2009 13:42

Sadly not! It did clear her sinuses though .

She's 3 now and I didn't make the connection until much later that she'd become clingy/restless at the same time as the CO.

SoupDragon · 18/08/2009 13:43

it may just be that Dragons are weird. My most chilled-out baby was DS1. A 10lb 1oz ventouse delivery

theressomethingaboutmarie · 18/08/2009 13:48

thirded (is that a word?) on the cranial osteopathy advice. My daughter would wail like a banshee whenever I put her down. It was so wearing; I spent hour upon hour doing the parental jiggle. She had four sessions of CO and it really did the trick. He said that she had considerable stiffness in her neck (she hated having it done on the first two occasions).

roseability · 18/08/2009 14:03

taking a nice deep bath with the baby as well. The skin to skin helps with bonding and it really soothes them

Momino · 18/08/2009 14:12

cranial osteopathy is a good option but it doesn't work for everyone. I took my dd1 there when she was colicky but she just got worse/stayed the same (not sure which ).

I agree with Tamtam, you can't just put your feet up and cuddle. I have dd1 3.5 year old, dd2 almost-2 yrs and dd3 three mos. at 5 weeks dd3 was a good sleeper at night but during the day only calm when being held. of course, I couldn't hold her all day just because she was a newborn but felt so awful when I left her to cry.

Definitely do the sling as most have advised. For us a bouncy chair is working. We have a baby bjorn one but i wish we had an electric one as my foot gets tired bouncing it. I'd also agree with DVD/tv being a babysitter at times (dd1 is watching cbeebies right now while I have a cuppa tea and dd2/3 are sleeping).

forget about showers, forget about putting on makeup unless you are up before the children. I even find it difficult to get dressed some days.

above all, as one post said, it will pass and things will settle into a routine. My 3 month old can now sit in her bouncy chair or under the playgym for short periods so I can do little things. It does get easier as most will tell you.

oh. now i've spent my Quiet Moment on MN instead of emptying the dishwasher or putting on make up. baby's crying have to go.

good luck.

juuule · 18/08/2009 14:14

Oh Rose that's something that I wouldn't have liked to do. And all that getting dried and dressed afterwards - no thanks especially with toddlers around.

Each to their own, I suppose.

Louby3000 · 18/08/2009 14:14

Moby Wrap sling was a life saver, well supportive for you and really lets you move so you can get on with life! Radio tuned into white noise, turn it up louder than you think. Colief- expensive but it worked for me. Hmm, thats about it....Remember the new baby mantra- This is just a phase, this is just a phase...and so on.
Good Luck

juuule · 18/08/2009 14:16

"you can't just put your feet up and cuddle."
Not everyone can but some can. I did. With toddlers, too

oneopinionatedmother · 18/08/2009 14:17

um..a big baby...feed him all the time? (whilst toddler learns the Cbeebies schedule by heart?)

imoscarsmum · 18/08/2009 15:24

Cillapops I remember this well, and I didn't have a toddler to look after too, so be kind to yourself - you are doing the best you can.

DD, now 11m, was a clingy newborn and I could only do the absolute essentials in bursts. Whenever I could I sat down and let her lie on me, appreciate you can't with a toddler.

Agree with other posts - accept help if you have it, get out in the fresh air - good for you, baby & toddler, I found the wilkienet a godsend. It is more like a traditional carrier so is very supportive but is wrap style. We tried cranial osteopathy, and though it didn't solve things it got us out and during the sessions DD was very calm.

And, as you know, it will pass. By 12 weeks I was able to leave DD in a bouncy chair for a short while and now she's an independent little thing!
Interesting that your newborn DS sleeps well at night, so did DD - she slept through at 5 days old. Perhaps lots of sleep means they are more awake and alert in the day?

Take one day at a time and it will work out OK. Hugs.

pigletmania · 18/08/2009 15:42

Please Cillapops it will pass trust me. My dd is 2.5 years, when she was a young baby would cry from 9am to 9pm non stop most days, I was so desperate and depressed, nothing worked really. I know it seems a long time but time will go quickly. I have a sling so that if I have a dc number 2 i can have them in it if poss. The only thing that would work was a vibrating baby bouncer so she stayed there most of the time when crying(for my sanity) and is now a happy and healthy toddler.

Schulte · 18/08/2009 15:42

Cillapops sorry to hear you're having a hard time. You'll probably have to ride it out until he becomes more settled but do be grateful that at least he sleeps well at night and gives you a break then! My dd2 was an angel during the day, but nights were hell for a good few weeks and I don't know which I'd rather have!

Highlander · 18/08/2009 16:08

it's normal for him to want to be attached to you, after all he had it for 9 months and it's all suddenly been taken away from him!!. Your smell and voice and touch are comforting to him and he's freaked out when he gets none of these.

Get a sling and do your thing with him attached to you. I did this with both DSs and they were fine. You're not 'spoiling' him by keeping him attached to you. It's still very early days.

I also used happiest baby on the Block for DS1, but he was colicky.

abra1d · 18/08/2009 16:18

We had a battery-operate swing chair, which enabled an hour or so with the toddler while the baby rocked backwards and forwards and didn't cry.

Otherwise--slings. Lots of the time.

Cranial osteo didn't really do much for either of mine. But that may just be us.

IsItMeOr · 18/08/2009 16:23

Our local argos (Merton/Tandem Centre) is selling Fisher Price swings at a discount, so instead of an eye-watering £120 they are a mere (?!?) £80something. They swing back to front and side to side, which I gather works for some colicky babies (although not ours, of course, but he was a non-sleeper rather than a crier!).

abra1d · 18/08/2009 16:26

I think I got mine secondhand for about £40. It was useful for about two months. I always felt slightly guilty but it was useful for doing things like bathing my toddler when I really couldn't wear a sling. Or cooking supper/making phone calls.

Once, after a glass or two of wine with a birthday meal, I forgot she was in it. She was swinging and sleeping for about four hours. Don't tell social services...

The other thing that helped my son when he was about 12-14 weeks was a doorframe bouncer. He really seemed to benefit from being vertical and moving up and down. This one was designed for a baby that age. I'd hear him crowing with pleasure.

MoominMymbleandMy · 18/08/2009 16:34

A sling is a godsend, and when you can master a back carry in a sling you can do almost anything.

missorinoco · 18/08/2009 16:52

DC1 was like this at this age. It does get better. DC2 is like this too, but to a lesser extent.
I would second the sling and white noise ideas.
I have a Karime sling. DC2 will soothe in this within minutes of going into it. TheBaby Bjorn didn't work as a soother for DC1. DC1 also in love with the vaccumcleaner, which DC2 will watch and listen to. (Hence my carpets are currently very clean.)

The other thing to say is at 5 weeks it is still very early and it does get better juggling 2 with time. We've made it to the grand stage of 3 months, and generally it is getting easier week by week.

roseability · 18/08/2009 17:07

Just a suggestion Juuule and can only be done with two adults. I just found it relaxed me, and my DS loved water. It was one of the few things that calmed him in the evenings. Of course this can't be done several times a day and I have to admit I haven't done it with my DD!

naomi83 · 18/08/2009 17:15

can't belive nobody's mentioned the possibility of reflux. it's much worse when they are flat, which is why they can only settle upright, on you, in the carseat, or swing, etc. if it's silent reflux they might not even be very sick, just unhappy, and holding their head very stiffl. it's very easy to test for, and very treatable.

missytabitha · 18/08/2009 17:34

You have my deepest sympathies as my DS2 now 5 months was like this exactly from week 3 to week 10. The only other thing to add is I breastfed him loads for comfort (worked even if other people didn't think I was doing the right thing) and also I read on mumsnet about setting the radio between channels on 'interference' would help them settle sleep. A type of white noise I suppose but it worked like a dream of him and I owe whoever posted this a large drink/cheque as it was my lifesaver during the day. PS he is a dream now and jus smiles all day every day but those first weeks were grim and I really feel for you.

curiositykilled · 18/08/2009 17:52

I agree with others who've said carry him round everywhere in a baby carrier so you have free hands for doing other things but he gets to be close.

Both mine were satisfied by this.

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