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Parenting

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Original poster

reins for toddlers - acceptable or not?

96 replies

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 13:19

DD is 19 months, we live in central london by lots of busy roads. She doesn't like being in the pram for any length of time but is also reluctant to hold hands. At the moment I take the 'if you won't hold mummy's hand you have to go in the pram' approach, which means she's in and out of the pram every few minuts. I wondered about reins because I'd like to be able to walk more with her but am scared about her wriggling away and running into the road.

But not quite sure about the idea of having her on what is essentially a lead. What are your thoughts/experiences?

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MollieO · 02/08/2009 22:21

Gosh, never realised that the use of reins was a class issue. I used them as I figured it was safer than trying to keep hold of a wriggly ds near busy roads and in crowds. I got a bit fed up with the dog comments but I figured that said more about the commentator than me. Most of the time ds wore the harness with the reins tucked in but still easier to grab than a piece of clothing or arm.

PinkyMinxy · 02/08/2009 22:25

My DD1 loves to run. SHe is beginning to get the idea of walking with me, but in the meantime we use rucksack reins.

The rucksack ones are better not just because the child likes them, but because they are longer- I found it very hard to walk normally with my DCs on traditional reins as they are very short.

DidEinsteinsMum · 02/08/2009 22:27

I have used reins, backpack and wrist strap with ds. He is a runner and a slider. He slide the reins over his head (dont ask how, i dont know), he released the clip on the front of the backpack and slipped his wrist out of the wrist strap. The only thing that i found would vaguely keep him undercontrol was doubling up the reins (one under a coat, one on top) and linking the two straps with the wrist strap so he could yank the reins out of my hand. It cut my wrist raw. In the end i suggested to my HV the only way i could take ds to a park was to stick the double reins on an extendable dog leash. But i suppected it would be considered child abuse. Her response was No - just common sense I stuck with the buggy, refusing to let him walk and double strapping him in that. My nerves wouldnt cope with him walking. He is now 4 1/2 and just about safe enough to be out of the buggy. Although i still periodicaly loose him. He is a night mare.

Do what you feel comfortable with and if it doesnt work try something else.

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dizzymare · 02/08/2009 22:30

I have one of the backpack ones for ds, he loves to fill it with crap though. He can't be trusted to just hold hands especially get to and from the car, as we live on a main road and can't always park right outside the door.

ilovesprouts · 02/08/2009 22:41

i use a good old fashiond reins ,but ds holds me hand as well

Gateau · 03/08/2009 10:00

I bought reins for my DS , not giving a shit what other people thought. I would have used them happily if DS had got on well with them - but he didn't.
In fact I used them in a very upfront manner once or twice just to to say up yours to the disapproving stares of my very 'middle class', smug neighbour. If you want them and fancy something retro, try John Lewis for the leather ones. Sorry, I don't now who to do links.

EyeballsintheSky · 03/08/2009 10:18

Class: middle
Location: Surrey
Reins: yes
Type: Ladybird rucksack
Method: Slip loop over wrist and hold dd's hand. She doesn't realise she's not free until she tries to run off and is yanked back . Luckily, despite being an independant little beggar, she doesn't seem to try to run into roads but she often favours the opposite direction to the rest of us.

So class be buggered. Reins vs toddler potentially in middle of road = no contest.

All I don't get, and this is not a dig at anyone here, is that I don't like putting anything more than a sunhat in the rucksack as she seems too little to be lugging things round on her back. Am I being very pfb or are you putting little light airy things in there?

Meglet · 03/08/2009 10:21

eyeballs I have been known to put a sports bottle of water, raisins and tissues in my ds's rucksack reins. Its the toddler version of SAS training, he hasn't keeled over yet .

EyeballsintheSky · 03/08/2009 10:23

LOL, pfb then

stealthsquiggle · 03/08/2009 13:21

When I am not carrying a bag I get DD to carry my purse (and anything else I can't fit into my pockets) in her backpack

shinyshoes · 03/08/2009 13:29

I use reins for my DD1 and I live on a council estate

lynniep · 03/08/2009 13:34

I am all for reins. Always have been - DS is a monkey who is off like a shot the minute I put him down - the reins (we use a bee rucksack) make him feel like he's got some freedom - and I much prefer holding on to a 'leash' for want of a better word, than to be dragged around bent over double half-strangling him trying to hold onto the back of his shirt.

I must admit I probably look ridiculous trotting around after a rampant 2 year old on the end of a lead, but at least I have 'hold' of him so when he does finally stop, I can take my attention off him for a second and still know we're 'attached'

I dont give a flying poodle what anyone else thinks. I dont care if my mother says I should be able to get him to hold my hand or hold onto the pushchair. He WONT. He is SAFE on the end of a lead so I will use it if I want to. And for those who tell me he's not a dog, well, no, he isn't, but honestly there are plenty of similarities - he needs feeding, toilet training, and daily exercise and he needs to be safe.

I'm hoping DS2 is going to be less prone to escape, but if not, he's going on a rein as well

MarthaFarquhar · 03/08/2009 13:41

I absolutely do not get why anyone would have a problem with a bit of safety gear.

My DD is very biddable when it comes to hand holding, so we've never needed them, but this is down to good fortune rather than anything else. And if anything, my DD is on a shorter "leash" when hand holding than she would be if we used reins.

piscesmoon · 03/08/2009 14:09

I don't see a problem with them. If you have safety things in place your DC actually has much more freedom.

EffiePerine · 03/08/2009 14:12

Used them to DS1 ( a bolter) when he was mobile but too young to understand about holding hands, crossing roads and so on. Haven't used them much since he turned two, and I admit I find the use on older toddlers (2-3) a bit odd. Though DS1 was vocal pretty early which helped. He's 2.9 now and if he had reins he'd be walking me!

stealthsquiggle · 03/08/2009 15:29

Effie - the case for use on older toddlers:

My DD is now 2.9 and has far stronger opinions about everything not holding hands than she used to as a 'toddling' toddler . No younger siblings, so no pushchair to make her hold on to, no sense of danger and natural caution (as DS had) and a love of shiny things and pretty dresses combine to make her an absolute liability in busy town centres. Having her on a 'lead' keeps me sane and keeps me from having to carry her, or put her in a pushchair. I am sure I do get some funny looks, but I would get more standing in the middle of a street (or airport) trying to work out which source of shiny things she has disappeared into in the 2 seconds I had my eyes off her! We don't use it on general walks / in quiet places / in supermarkets where she can hold/push the trolley.

ilovesprouts · 03/08/2009 15:55

shineyshoes ,me too !!

PinkyMinxy · 03/08/2009 18:40

lol My DD1 has been walkign since before she was one, and now at age 2.5 can run really fast - that is why she has her rucksack.

I have been known to clip the handle onto my buggy. Is this bad

MamaMaiasaura · 03/08/2009 20:00

Was out and about with dc today and ds2 had reins on. Had positive comment from one woman with a baby saying she needed to get some and where did i get them.

Saw lots of little ones with them on, but only one did i question in my mind whether they are being used fairly.

It was a 3 year old boy (know his age as made chit caht with mum, well tried). Anyway they are queing behind us for ferry home and we arent going anywhere for a while. Ds2 is in buggy and she has her dc on reins and no pushchair. She is also pregnant so must feel tired too (personally i would take a buggy if not to carry child, to carry shopping) She didn ahve a suitcase on wheels though so would have prob been tgoo much of a faff. ANyway her son is very upset wanting to sit down as he is tired. She is literally holding him up by the reins and very cross saying he cant as they have to catch ferry. Just didnt get why she wouldnt let him sit down for a bit, if the floor an issue she had a suitcase. And holding him up by reins just felt wrong. He wasnt tantruming, he was just very tired.

spring2life · 03/08/2009 20:52

The back pack was great for my DS, as you can unclip the reins bit , when he nolong thought he was linford christie he still had a good back pack to use. He had the turtle one. looked so cute, a bit too old for it now.

GwarchodwrPlant · 03/08/2009 20:59

As a Child minder I find reins invaluable.

I do not 'know' the children I mind like their parents so I am not prepared to take the risk of trusting them to hold my hand.

It is peace of mind and safety out on the road/in town/busy places and you can't put a price on that.

It send shivers down my spine to think of the consequences of not putting a child on a rein and for them to dart off and...

I couldn't give a hoot what anyone else thought.

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