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Parenting

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Original poster

reins for toddlers - acceptable or not?

96 replies

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 13:19

DD is 19 months, we live in central london by lots of busy roads. She doesn't like being in the pram for any length of time but is also reluctant to hold hands. At the moment I take the 'if you won't hold mummy's hand you have to go in the pram' approach, which means she's in and out of the pram every few minuts. I wondered about reins because I'd like to be able to walk more with her but am scared about her wriggling away and running into the road.

But not quite sure about the idea of having her on what is essentially a lead. What are your thoughts/experiences?

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flowerybeanbag · 31/07/2009 13:50

I bought some reins for DS fully expecting to use them but in the event he is very good about holding hands all the time so I've never used them. Occasionally he tries to pull away but he knows the deal is he holds hands or he goes in the buggy/gets carried, so it's not a problem.

But I appreciate I'm lucky!

Original poster

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 13:51

Stinky - supper, eh? Well that settles it

MrsF - I guess I don't really, either. That's why I posted, in case there was something v obvious I'd missed (I can't imagine what but it seemed worth a thread).

I think it's DH's fault, he kind of raised an eyebrow when I mentioned it and said 'do you think she'll be alright with that?' and it got me thinking.

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Original poster

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 13:52

Fanjo - perhaps 'acceptable' was the wrong word cos it has now spawned a class debate, which really wasn't what I was getting at. (Though it's been kind of interesting.)

I was really just asking if anyone can think of any reason why they're not a good idea... And it seems they can't...

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/07/2009 13:54

sorry, I sounded a bit blunt there!

I love 'em, my DD doesn't mind them at all, she runs ahead of me and I have to run to catch up, its like taking a particularly exuberant labrador puppy for a walk!

stealthsquiggle · 31/07/2009 13:57

DD has the pink backpack with butterflies on - which would probably work a little better if I didn't keep forgetting to put the stupid thing in the car . It is definitely easier to get her to wear it if it is also being used to carry whatever bizarre selection of precious objects she has decided she needs to take with her (currently a fish with a flashing LED in it and a Little People giraffe )

MrsFawlty · 31/07/2009 13:57

I think there was a similar thread the other week and I don't remember seeing an actual reason why someone would not use them. Are they supposed to curtail their freedom or something? I understand that a lot of children are really good at walking sensibly and not trying to kill themselves in traffic, but if you have one that isn't like that and won't be reasoned with, what else can you do?

ninedragons · 31/07/2009 13:58

Love them. Don't get the monkey backpack, though, or you'll end up smiling politely at the thousanth version of "monkey on your back" joke. Wish I'd bought the sheep ones instead.

I have noticed that they seem to have trained DD to stay near me even when she's not wearing them.

notcitrus · 31/07/2009 14:01

Lots of people use them round me (our high street is the A23!)

I've heard people in the past say that reins restrict a child's freedom - er, like holding their hand doesn't??

Maybe the distaste for reins is to do with some cultural memory of when kids were tied to posts out of the way like dogs? (Victorian housecleaning, apparently...)

ExtraFancy · 31/07/2009 14:02

My DS is nearly 2 and won't wear reins at all - I have tried all sorts but he hates being 'connected' to me. He is very good at walking next to me though and thankfully has never made a dash for the road - always holds hands to cross over etc.

I do wonder though, if it is a bit irresponsible of me to not put him on reins/hold onto him as we walk along the pavement - I only ask as the other day a woman in a 4x4 slowed right down as she drove past me, and shook her head as if I was deliberately trying to make her crash

ExtraFancy · 31/07/2009 14:03

BTW he only walks on quietish roads with wide pavements/the pedestrianised bit of our local town centre.

misscreosote · 31/07/2009 14:05

Extra - I'm sure you have a very good idea of what is and what isn't safe for your DS, so if you don't think you need them, then you probably don't!

misscreosote · 31/07/2009 14:06

And the opinion of people driving 4x4's doesn't count anyway - hardly the most child friendly/safe vehicle you can get.

ExtraFancy · 31/07/2009 14:07

But as a non-driver I've no idea if a small free-range toddler counts as a hazard or not!

flowerybeanbag · 31/07/2009 14:08

Extrafancy I think I might have done the same as the woman. Slowed down that is, not shaken my head at you! DS is very good at holding hands as I've said but if I don't hold his hand, he is just as likely to run off.

Knowing this, when I see people with toddlers who aren't held on to in any way, even if they are trotting along perfectly nicely next to the adult, I always think 'eek what if they just run into the road'. Obviously you know your DS is good at walking next to you but perhaps the woman has a DS who is just as likely to make a dash for it so was assuming it was a possibility with yours as well?

MrsFawlty · 31/07/2009 14:11

Interesting, not citrus. My great grandmother had four children under four and apparently used to tie them to the table leg to get stuff done.

Not quite the same as using reins though!

MrsFawlty · 31/07/2009 14:12

(have always assumed she meant they were each on a long rein, not literally tied bodily to a table leg, IYSWIM - must double check!)

myredcardigan · 31/07/2009 14:12

If you don't think you need them, you probably don't. I didn't need them with my first as he would walk beside me and hope my hand to cross roads. He took notice of the 'walk beside me or you're in the pram' mantra.
DD1 however...If I tell you she has had five casualty trips (none through illness) and she's just 3! Neither DS nor DD2 have needed to visit once.

misscreosote · 31/07/2009 14:12

Are you serious Mrsfawlty? I had absolutely no idea that used to be done!

ExtraFancy · 31/07/2009 14:16

If he runs ahead or wanders near the kerb, he knows it's pushchair time again. And I've also done the 'carrying him underone arm in an undignified manner' thing!

Original poster

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 14:17

goodness, tying DCs to the table - well, that would certainly keep them out of mischief.

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stealthsquiggle · 31/07/2009 14:17

My grandmother was a nanny to twins c. 1950 and used to use reins - until they discovered that they could run round her in opposite directions and tie her legs together / make her fall over

MrsFawlty · 31/07/2009 14:19

SO I'm told! I always feel a bit sorry for my great grandmother when I hear that, must have been hard back in the 20's, pinging kids out every five minutes, having to get by on nothing, keep your house tidy or risk getting leathered by your husband, and stop your children from braining themselves at the same time. (It might not have been quite like this, I have maybe read too many Helen Forrester books.)

But I don't think any other generation has been quite so child focussed as ours?

misscreosote · 31/07/2009 14:31

Mrs Fawlty - you get me wrong, I was thinking it was quite a good idea! Especially as they wouldn't have had all the stair gates and other safety paraphenalia that we do...

(don't worry, wouldn't actually do it, before anyone starts shouting at me)

Original poster

itsalwaysthequietones · 31/07/2009 14:35

MrsF - yes I agree. Always makes me feel a bit guilty moaning about the day to day stuff because we have it so easy comparatively. How our ancestors would chuckle if they heard us banging on about the wrongs or rights of routines, BLW vs purees etc Must have been a hard old slog - no wonder mums used to put a tot of whisky/rum or whatever it was in the babies' milk

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frimblypoo · 31/07/2009 14:39

I had a dog and running away toddler. 5 hour drive up to the 'rents. Stopped at motorway services and attached dog and child with their 'leads' to screw in the ground dog post so we could have lunch.

So yup, reins and a dog post. Essential items in any mother's going out kit

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