2 yr old DD refusing to wear certain items of clothing gets hysterical

[Greyclay]

Hi - I'm very interested in anyone's advice who has gone through similar.

My DD is 2 years old and we have what I understand to be a fairly normal ongoing battle about getting dressed. I try to give her reasonable choices about what she wears and I certainly do not force her to wear anything she doesn't want to. What I don't understand is why she outright refuses to wear something in particular and if I try to put it on her she gets extremely upset. Not just "I'm angry I'm not getting my own way" upset, but genuine tears and fears hysteria upset. I realize that this is certainly not a huge deal in the greater scheme of things but I feel a little sad that we have many lovely things that she'll never wear. In particular, a dress that my mother made for her (I was hoping to get a picture of her in it at least...my mum spent hours on it!)

I also understand that she has her daycare clothing comfort zone - shirt, pants, socks shoes - and she tends to get upset about wearing anything out of that comfort zone - i.e. dresses and she is highly suspicious of anything new.

Does anyone have advice about how I can encourage her to wear different things or what I can do to assuage her fears? Many thanks in advance....

No advice but my DS1 was exactly the same - almost from the minute he turned 2. Prior to that, I would choose his clothes and he never questioned it. From the day he turned 2, he suddenly got hysterical unless he could choose what to wear and would always pick the same stuff.

No answers as I have a drawer of lovely brand new Gap t-shirts which I had bought in advance as they were in the sale and a variety of other t-shirts that have been deemed by DS1 to be unwearable

Even now (he is 3) I still stand in shops and have no idea what he will find acceptable and what he won't - for example, he likes Postman Pat so I bought him a lovely PP t-shirt - and he has refused to wear it! My purchases are very hit and miss with him!

I now only buy t-shirts from supermarkets that cost £3 or £4 then I don't feel too bad. Plus I am hoping DS2 won't be so stubborn and he can wear all the unused clothes

You might not like what i'm going to say but here goes...

Dd is now 3 and started doing the same at 2 and a half. She refuses trousers and short sleeves, it took me months to get her out of tights when the weather became warmer, she wouldn't wear summer pyjamas during the heatwave and there are a few dresses and other things I bought in the spring sales (eg Gap) that she won't touch with a barge pole. I'm only holding on to them because I'm pregnant with number 2 and if it's a girl I'll keep them and try again. I now look back wistfully at the 2.5 years where I could dress her how I wanted as I took great pride in her appearance. These days, she is often be found wearing bizarre combinations that would have made me weep a few months ago

Anyway I tried to resist for a while and then gave up. Honestly, what's the point of fighting it?

I decided to be pleased that she has an opinion. Now I give her a choice of things that I know she likes, don't even bother with the stuff that makes her scream, and take her shopping to choose things if she needs them. Often I say "would you like to wear stripy dress & elephant t-shirt" knowing that they are washed and ironed and that she loves them both and usually she says "ok". Sorted.

I've no idea why she refuses certain things and I've stopped trying to analyse it. Life is too short and there are plenty of other things to worry about! I don't even bother to try and get her in to trousers, although she starts pre-school in September and will have to wear tracksuit trousers as they have a uniform. Not looking forward to that one!

Maybe not the answer you wanted but hope it helps.

My DD has been exactly the same, from just under 2 has been hysterical about wearing dresses or skirts so I just don't bother now, she also doesn't do pink at all, so I scour the shops for the most feminine of boys clothes, yes she looks like a beach bum but wear we live it is much more practical and we have started talking about how she will need to wear a dress when she goes to big school. She also wears a wooly stripy hat all day and all night and only takes it off for the bath.

I also have the guilt factor about all the lovely clothes my mother has bought her but I don't think it is worth the hysterics.

I would just let her wear what she wants to wear. Pick your battles, I say.

It is also making it much cheaper as DC 2 is a boy

Same view as everyone else. Just let her wear what she's happy wearing.

Thanks all. I was hoping for a "magic tip" to try but I am mostly content to just let it go and as Countryhousehotel says, just be glad she has an opinion.

I have to say it is very comforting to read that so many others have experienced similar behaviours!

My ds is/was like this and he is dyspraxic

Same here. DH and I draw straws for who is going to get DD dressed in the mornings! She comes up with fantastic excuses for all the things she doesn't want to wear, the best one being "No...that's for tennis.."

Agree with everyone else, pick the battles that really matter & try if you can to take her shopping with you so that you don't waste cash on stuff that you like that she will utterly refuse to look at! We used to get the whole sobbing/tears thing too but now she's 4.5 and a tiny bit more reasonable.

I do sigh when I see the dreadful combinations she puts together but hopefully she'll get some sense of style at some point!!

No magic tips either I'm afraid. DD (2.8 years) is the same - only she MUST wear dresses, or skirts at a push. Trousers are the devil's work. Sigh.

Agree with seeker - pick your battles (I will only refuse to let DD wear very long and frilly dresses to nursery/childminder because they're unpractical).

My 3 year old is the same. I have spent a fortune on clothes which she will not wear . Most of the time she just picks what she wants to wear. I have been known to force her to wear something (literally pin her down) but found it wasn't worth the stress involved and now she gets herself undressed. My answer has been to buy a large amount of cheap, pink skirts from Tesco and alike and let her get on with it. Its one of the few things she has any control over so I let it be even if she does sometimes look like Sue Pollard.