Was I too honest with DS

[OrangeCrushMama]

DS is 10 and earlier told me that DP had "bummed him".

He was referring to a game they'd played where they'd tried to knock each other over by their bums.

It was decided that the comment could have been taken way out of context by outsiders and I explained to DS what the phrase usually meant.

"DS, when someone says they were "bummed" it usually means someone has had sex with them. It's usually a phrase to exlain gay sex"

Was this a bit too honest? he's a mature 10 and he said he understood and didn't realise it would sound so serious.

I don't want to make him grow up too early but we both felt we shouldn't let that comment go. Besides the bullying that would occur if he was to say this at school, what on earth would happen if someone reported us after hearing DS say this.

Did I explain too much?

Oh goodness.

My son is only 8 but I wouldn't have told him that.

I suppose it depends if he already knew what man with woman sex is.

another bum sex thread

Could you have just said that it means something a bit rude rather than actually going into detail? Or would he then just have wanted to know exactly what it meant anyway?

My son is ten. If I hadn't told him then his sisters would!

Perfectly reasonable.

I might have tried to get him to use another word such as 'bumped' and just said that the other word was a rude word.

It's done now so I would put it behind you and hope he forgets about it. It was a bit too adult for an 8yr old IMHO.

perfectly reasonable - my DS is 9 and has known the facts if life for quite a while - so I think you were right to explain why that phrase could have been taken out of context.

Perfectly reasonable

I've not read any bumsex threads, I'm not a troll. If I was, I'd come up with something funny.

He told me the kids at school say this all the time. He's not exactly "one of the lads" and is pehaps a little naive. Therefore I wanted to be straight with him and tell him like it is.

After I'd said it however I kind of felt a little sad.

I think it was fine.
Would have been too much if you'd described the act. Though I am sure there'll be plenty of people who think that 10 is the perfect age to learn all about anal.
I honestly think you got it just right.

Given the usual caveat (you know your son best) I think what you did was fine.

i think what you said was fine for a 10 year old

totally fine imo
my 9 year old dd knows about regular sex and sex between men

better to be told by your parents the truth than find out all sorts of nonsense in the playground

I think what you said was clear, truthful and not scary.

Very unsettling for a child to feel as though they've said something bad / wrong, and not know why.

Op i think you were right to explain what it meant,just imagine if another child or parent over heard this and took it totaly out of context who knows where it could of lead?

but you can be bummed out without it meaning anal sex

it really is in the mind of the beholder isn't it?

its fine

Sounds fine to me. He needs to know these things.

Don't worry about it better he knows and stops saying it than you getting called up to the school!

Your DS suonds very sensible, I think you did fine.

Very well handled.

i think you were too honest
fgs -are they not allowed ANY innocence any more?

on first reading i was horrified and thought it was a bad idea to tell him, however if he is trying to imitate the cool kids at school by using the word far out of context i think it prob was for the best as if he had comtinued he would prob be bullied