Advice needed: I've just caught 7yo DS trying to use my credit card secretly to join bloody Club Penguin...

[scampadoodle]

He'd been nagging us to buy a membership but we said, firmly, No (none of his friends are members btw). Last night & this morning I found my purse in the study where my computer is, I challenged DS1 & he admitted that he was going to use the credit card to buy the membership. I was I am normally a shouty mummy but I was so upset by this that I stayed v calm & DS was v contrite - said sorry & hugged me. I told him how wrong it was & that I was v upset & didn't want to feel I couldn't trust him. TBH, i thought I wouldn't have to deal with this situation until he was a teenager.

So far the punishment is:
No more Club Penguin
He's not allowed to use my imac in the study.
When he uses his dad's old laptop it has to be with an adult present in the room.

I don't know if that's enough. I feel that morally, it's the tip of a very slippery slope. What do others think?

I dont think you should ban it forever, my dd who is 7 goes on it but has to pay for it by doing chores. As someone else said you can dip in and out of membership. She is learning that if she wants things she has to pay for them and you do that by working.

She earns all of her pocket money by doing chores and this has given her an idea of the value of money. She is very careful spending her money.

It is not easy when a child is of the more demanding nature, luckily for me mine are fairly accepting so I am probably not the best person to advise you. I am a tough love person - say something once like you mean it rather than 1/2dozen times nicely but that may not work for everyone

hmm scamp I know what you mean, tired etc.
I wonder if tis a bit arbitrary that is all.
Maybe give him a notional allowance a month that he can spend how he likes
SO say you spend £10 a month on him.
you canboth write it out

August

magazine £1.80
Match attacks £3.50 ( have just binned a STACK - do oyu want them btw?)
Club of Penguins £2.00

then he can see what you are both doing

If you want them say asap as htey are IN THE PAPER BASKET ATM

The monthly spend is a good idea Badgers.

HOLD ONTO THOSE MATCH ATTAX! Will just consult with DS1 as to which ones he needs!

oh sigh
Do i have to LOOK at them?

ok wil get out of bin.

( btw ds1 is almost 11 and we started £4 a week pocekt money, he has to spend that on any amblings to the Spar to buy sweets, on cinema trips - laughaly he started taking his own refreshments!!!- and stuff)

Blimey, can't believe all these very clever 6 and 7yos. My ds has just turned 6 and still doesn't understand that when I take money out of the cashpoint, it's not free gratis and for nothing from the bank - he really doesn't get that I have to earn it and put it in the bank in the first place.

Have had to have stern words with him about repeating my PIN aloud, as well. (Blasted brat may not be up on the uses and abuses of credit cards but he is a keen observer with an excellent memory. Unlike me, hence not changing my PIN.)

Ok - please excuse dodgy spellings:

Ronaldo 100 club

Ashley Young Man of the Match

Adebayor M o t M

Petr Cech 100 club

Carlos Tevez M o t M

Scott Carson M o t M

David Bentley Star Player

David Wheater Star Player

Stuart Downing Star Player

Paul Robinson Star Player

Mario Melchiot

Trophy card

Thank you! from DS1

edam: I don't think DS1 understands that money from the cashpoint has to be earned in the first place, it just appears by magic!

I think your DS1 was very selfish in his actions especially since he already gets so much. Your reasons for saying 'no' to CP are very straightforward and easy for him to understand at his age. His blatant disregard for them and his dishonest actions would make me think very seriously about allowing him to go on the computer at all.

Does he read? At 7 he could be reading in the mornings instead of going on the computer. It seems to me as if you are relinguishing control a little bit re:the internet - you need to be careful obviously as there is so much unsuitable stuff out there. IMO it is better for DCs if they have a range of activities to do on the computer - fun and learning. Spend a bit of time youself seeking out great sites and bookmark them for him. Then, limit his time - use time on the computer as a reward for good behaviour

Clever boy! Mine tried to order Match Attax but didn't understand that you need to put in credit card details to do so!

Sagacious - am interest to hear of your "Match Attax incident!"

Out of interest - we have never given DS pocket money - purely becasue we keep saying we will sit down and work out a chore list and we haven't done that - but we are going to start giving him pocket money so - how much does the average 7/8 year old boy get these days?

Club Penguin monthly membership cards available at Tesco's. Better value in the end than buying a full year or half year imo because they do get bored with the site and don't go near it for weeks on end. Then all of a sudden it's flavour of the month again ...

... and next time Auntie June / Grandma / Uncle Whosit asks 'what does he want for his birthday' (does anyone else find this annoying?) you can send them off for a few!

Oh god you are so not crap - I think everyone is trying to work out ways to negotiate this stuff all the time aren't they? I wasn't saying never say no, I was trying to suggest ways of working out when to say no, how to say no, what is okay and what isn't. That's all. That's what we all do all the time, no? Hah.

Don't be defeatist about the computer stuff though - you can say no computer in the mornings if you don't want him to. Or you can say, this is the set time, if you go on at 5.30 then it goes off when I come down and doesn't go on again until 7 or whatever.

Buda my two girls are nearly nine and they get £1.50 a week. They have to have made a reasonable attempt at keeping their room tidy (not spotless just put toys away and make bed) and not have had any Big Telling Offs to get it.

Thanks Idrankthetea - need to work out how much that is in Hungarian Forint now!

"I can hardly monitor him if he is getting up at 5.30 and going on the computer."

My PC requires a password to log on which they don't know.

ok i really cant face doing it now but we have bentley star player
and adbeyor but star player too

will get ds2 to check em

BadgersArse - such a lovely name!

If you do have any other spare Match Attax DS is also collecting and would have some to swap maybe.

The monthly allowance sounds like a good start. At 7yo they do start to understand the meaning and worth of money, and this should be encouraged.

Money is such an abstract concept for a 7yo, sometimes putting it into context helps. £100 = X hours work.

I explain it by saying, "The scooter that you want costs XXX. Papa has to work to earn that money, he has to work XXX hours to earn enough for a scooter".

My son has membership and so do a few of his school friends and they meet up at times we parents agree at school pick up.

That aside, my DS has asked for membership to other sites which I don't mind but i'm not paying for and so i've told him to add them to his birthday list and maybe a grandparent will treat him.

PS. I am of the opinion that it is money better spent than on crappola magazines.

Scampadoodle- my ds did exactly the same thing except he actulaay did join using my bank card.

I found out when I received a confirmation e mail from club penguin!!!!!!!!!!

To be fair I phoned them straight away, after phoning my bank and speaking to a very sympathetic worker who said her ds, had done a similar thing with her bank card, and club penguin cancelled the membership and gave me a full refund.

They also said they would suspend his free membership for 12 months and he accepted all of this.

He hasn't dared to do anything like this again.

Now whenever there is any threat of him whinging wanting things that are way out of reach I say yes of course but you must earn the money yourself. You can start with cleaning the car both inside and out and that will earn you 20p.
Hoovering is 5p, emptying and reloading the dishwasher will earn you 10p etc etc at this rate that game that you wanted for "only" £39.99 will be yours in no time at all. Simples

BLOODY CLUB PENGUIN !!!!
(LOL a bit!)

My ds is hooked...and all of his class told each other their passwords....and then they all changed eachothers penguin clothes and igloos (hope you know what i am on about!!!)...and riots started....!!!....

even the teacher had to lecture the class about not sharing passwords!!!!

I love ds's penguin. He waddles about gormlessly in his flamenco dress and diving helmet, doing no harm to anyone. Whereas that blardy Sonic / Mario / the Pokemon hordes ....