Advice needed: I've just caught 7yo DS trying to use my credit card secretly to join bloody Club Penguin...

[scampadoodle]

He'd been nagging us to buy a membership but we said, firmly, No (none of his friends are members btw). Last night & this morning I found my purse in the study where my computer is, I challenged DS1 & he admitted that he was going to use the credit card to buy the membership. I was I am normally a shouty mummy but I was so upset by this that I stayed v calm & DS was v contrite - said sorry & hugged me. I told him how wrong it was & that I was v upset & didn't want to feel I couldn't trust him. TBH, i thought I wouldn't have to deal with this situation until he was a teenager.

So far the punishment is:
No more Club Penguin
He's not allowed to use my imac in the study.
When he uses his dad's old laptop it has to be with an adult present in the room.

I don't know if that's enough. I feel that morally, it's the tip of a very slippery slope. What do others think?

IMo it is.

i think you handled it beautifully.

i think that you are giving him 3 punishments for 1 wrong doing - i don't think that's fair

i hardly think its the tip of a slippery slope

adn to make you feel better I know of a kid who stole £100 CASH!

Tell us about the £100 cash kid then!

I think it's actually quite cute and very impressive than he managed to try this.
Obviously it's important to make him realise it was wrong too.

What are your objections to letting him be a member of Club Penguin? I relented and let mine be members. It's costs a few quid, they get a load of fun from it, then after the 3 or 6 month membership is over their interest has run its course.

I held out for ages then felt guilty and petty and when I saw how much they loved being members I was ploeased to have let them.

It's a really great site. Very well moderated. It has loads to do and I think as sites go it's worth a couple of quid investment.

Id have to change names and shove it in some random topic that no one uses..
Or I'll mail you.

Our PC's are all password protected and the children don't know their passwords...that would stop him getting on any pc before you're up!

I think a permanent ban on Club Penguin is a bit harsh.

DSs now play on Bin Weevils which is free.

It's just that I know of a £100 cash kid as well...

Roblox is free also.

oh

my life

have catted you to tell you about it ( ok everyone?!)

I agree that Club Penguin is very well moderated. DS2 got banned for 24 hours for swearing. I don't think it was him but he learnt a valuable lesson about giving out his password. There is an adult account which allows you to monitor your children - eg I was able to get information on what DS2 had been banned for saying and also see the ban history (in case he hadn't told me of any other occasions).

Mine don't even have the fre chat option so they cannot talk to anyone at all (beyind the pre-set phrases) even my 12yo is quite happy with that, she enjoys the games more than the social stuff!

Argh, my girls have just discovered Club Penguin and are angling for membership.

I do think a permanent ban is rather harsh. It's like a life sentence, isn't it? Can't he do something to earn access back?

You can buy monthly cards from the Disney shop for club Penguin - pay as you go. Could do that instead?

I agree about a permanent ban being harsh, TBH honest OP I think you are leaping off the deep end about the whole thing, he is not aobut to turn into a master criminal, he tried it on is all!

yes it could have been £100.
its cos you were too strickt innit

How clever of him, my 7yo DD would not know what to do with a credit card.

Saying that, I doubt that your DS realises that it is like stealing money. If I say that I cannot buy something as it is too expensive and I don't have enough money, DD will say, "just go to the bank then". Only now is she beginning to understand that the money has to be earned first.

I would scale down the punishment, no PC without an adult present seems good. I would not get him the membership now but perhaps it would be a good incentive for him working towards for the autumn holidays.

I think you've got this all WRONG

why didn't you let him join Club Penguin? Are you a No-sayer without really thinking about it? Without giving him a decent or understandable reason?

The slipper slope imo is that if you keep saying no to perfectly reasonable requests, he isn't going to think you are listening or care or take his requests seriously and is going to ignore your authority because you don't LISTEN properly

I'd not ban him forever. I'd find a way for him to do chores to earn money for membership.

oh yes, agree with badgers arse, was because you were too strict.

i agree with pecan

If he says to you something like 'can I go to the park and play football' (ie something he really wants to do) and you keep saying 'No' and he says why not, and you don't know why not, so you say 'I don't want you to' then in time he'll think, 'oh bugger that' and go anyway.

it's the same.

You need to think about why you've been saying 'No'. He's 7 not 2.