I am letting my 5 week old Cry It Out

[NotSoRampantRabbit]

I don't know what else to do. She hasn't slept properly for last 3 days - seems to be permanently uncomfortable - grunting, bad wind, can't settle. Am using infacol.

I am bf on demand - she is fed.

She has a clean nappy.

She is warm.

I have tried - feeding to sleep, cuddling, rocking, moby sling, walk in pram.

Am at wits end.

Feel shit.

Why don't my babies know how to sleep.

DD unsettled again today and was dreading the evening (will have arms like Russian shot putter soon).

Bathed her and tried to feed but she was just manic - fast breathing, occasional painful crying.

Thought I would try another method from this thread. Washing machine on, baby in vibrating chair, kitchen blind down.

5 mins later - DD fast asleep.

Have you seen mothercare do a vibrating white noise over the shoulder pad thingy I would think its great. Will post link if i can

Here here

my ds2 wld feed alot amd i too was advised a dummy and to space out feeds. The reason being he was getting too much "foremilk" which is the equivilent of a drink and not enough "hindmilk" which is the food. This ment he just wasnt satisfied. He also would start getting grumpy after being awake awhile and i would swaddle him and put him down in his basket and within seconds he was asleep.

keep going - you will get there. The fact that you are asking for advise shows what a good mum you are because you care.

I second raven. I have found that at times with both my DD (2.8 y and 12 weeks) that at times they needed to be left to sleep. After much feeding , changing, cuddling, rocking I would put them down and some times they would go to sleep. If they hadn't fallen asleep in a few minuets , I would simply pick them up and start again. I really don't think a few minuets does them any harm

I feel your pain. DS1 was just like this at this stage and I was also demand feeding. I tried infacol, colief, white noise and baby massage to no avail. He would get gradually worse, unable to settle, screaming despite trying everything eg carrying, being in car, pram, sling etc throughout the day. In retrospect I think he would feed, get indigestion-type pains about 40 mins afterwards, would cry, I would feed him more (foremilk probably), he would sometimes nod off for 5 then be screaming again, then I would feed again and so on. He would then get so overtired he didn't seem to know why he was crying.

I felt happy that he was gaining weight (almost too much!) so I tried to space out his feeds to about 3 hours. I would feed from both sides, make sure he had a good burp and if I felt he was tired (ie up for more than 2 hours) I would try and settle him and sometimes let him cry a bit. He always seemed to need to have a small cry in order to get to sleep unlike DS2 who is a lot more peaceful in general! Obviously if he cried for more than 5-10 mins I would go and check his nappy and try and settle him. He was a different baby overnight. If he had not been gaining weight appropriately and if it was before 4 weeks-ish I would not have felt confident to space out the feeds but it worked for us and he continued to grow on same (75th) centile so I maintained confidence in my supply.

It is easy for people to be judgemental about leaving a baby to cry if they have not experienced a baby who seems to cry all day and does not sleep. Chin up and remember you need to look after yourself (and your sanity) and if that means letting him have a small cry before drifting off then so be it.

Just wanted to add that I found an electric swing was fantastic during the day. I was lucky enough to be given one and it was probably the most useful thing we were given.

I also found swaddling to be really helpful. And sometimes co-sleeping if things were really bad.

I totally sympathise with how awful it is to be completely exhausted. I was bf almost constantly day and night and there seemed to be no end to it. I was absolutely exhausted and I ended up giving up bf. Once I'd got a bit of sleep and could think straight again I really regretted giving up bf. Maybe I should have tried spacing out the feeds a bit more.

Just need to post again after a bad day with DD. I think she is having a growth spurt as she has been wanting to feed alot more. I had been doing well spacing her feeds out but that has not been possible today. As a result she has spent the day grizzling and crying and sleeping very little, after a couple of really good days.

I have been using colief which has been helping although it is a bit of a faff to prepare (using expressed milk).

I am feeling guilty because I seem to spend all my time with DD and not nearly enough with DS (who really needs my attention at the moment).

I am feeling a bit alone - my family are 300 miles away and my sister (who lives nearby) has just told me that she is going to move back home to be near our parents.

I have some great friends, but they are working much of the week and at the moment DD seems to be happier when we are calm and quiet at home. Lovely for her but not so great for me!

Arrrgghhhhh - I know this will all end and I will soon be buying her school uniform, and I should go with the flow and get through the days as best I can but really, newborn babies are not my thing. Give me a screaming toddler any day.

I am going to bath and change DD, feed her and put her down, in the hope that she goes to sleep. She must be soooooo tired.

Right - now I have vented I feel a little calmer.

Thanks for all the support.

Dizzee - sorry to hear that you regretted giving up bf. I am sure you simply did what you had to do at the time to retain sanity.

Thanks for your tips - an electric swing would be great but there is no room in my house now that it is filled with vibrating chairs, playmats, slings, prams and children!