I am letting my 5 week old Cry It Out

[NotSoRampantRabbit]

I don't know what else to do. She hasn't slept properly for last 3 days - seems to be permanently uncomfortable - grunting, bad wind, can't settle. Am using infacol.

I am bf on demand - she is fed.

She has a clean nappy.

She is warm.

I have tried - feeding to sleep, cuddling, rocking, moby sling, walk in pram.

Am at wits end.

Feel shit.

Why don't my babies know how to sleep.

So pleased Rampant . Now get off MN & get yourself some sleep - you bloody deserve it!

Well hoorah! And long may it continue! (well for 3 hours at least )

And I'm another one who fed by the clock

I didn't really know it was frowned on. I just had such a bloody nightmare with breastfeeding (mastitus, bleeding nips, toe curling agony) that there was no way that my sanity would have let me feed him more than every 3 hours....

sorry I hope it is obvious I am not suggesting your 5 week old is autistic just trying to relate on the sensitivity if that makes sense! Most children arent autistic. sorry!

My DH could never bear to hear the DCs cry, but tbh I always had quite a philisophical outlook on it - they are babies and babies do cry.

So when they were like that I always made sure they were fed, dry nappy, cuddled etc etc and if they still cried in my face I just didn't let it bother me - I was doing all I could and no one can ask any more of that.

Crying is the only sound they can make so how do we even know whether all cries are because they are distressed? Sometimes it might just be wind-down or being overtired. They always stop eventually and this phase passes quick!

Good luck with tomorrow!

Just wanted to add another one fo ryou. I used some tapes of white noise (my DS favourite was running water). I'll see if I can find a link fo ryou.

Hope baby is sleeping now. It is bloody awful when they wont sleep. You have my total sympathy (and sometimes you just have to let them scream for 5 minutes whilst you walk away and gather your thoughts - and have a good chat with MNers!).

My DS had a thunderstorm cd on loop til he was around a year old! we got it for like 50p on ebay

Here are the tapes we used

Meant to also say they were dead cheap. Even cheaper was occasionally sticking the hair dryer on.

Oh God, I so sympathise. I used to lie on the sofa with ds sprawled on my chest, sobbing his little guts out, and pat him aimlessly until he slept. I used to focus on the fact that he couldn't cry for ever - that he wouldn't still be sobbing on his first birthday. I'm not even joking, is the worst part, I used to feel that the crying never stopped at that point. I literally had to focus on a time so distant that it was impossible for him to cry till then.

It did settle, though, and other than teething or dirty nappies he hardly ever cries now (9 months). It's just a horrible time with small babies, IME.

Quick update

DD slept ALL NIGHT.

I woke at 6 with boobs like cannonballs.

I have fed her and taken her temp and she has gone back to sleep!

I don't want her to be sleeping through at this early age - don't want my supply to suffer, but just shows me that she was exhausted.

Thanks for all the suggestions re noise. We have an electric fan in our room (from when we had that summer a few weeks ago!) so will maybe try that today.

Got a friend coming over this morning and will take DS to the park this afternoon so I feel as if the day is manageable. Evening is another matter and I may well resurrect this thread if I feel the insanity descending again.

Thanks all

Good news! Sleep is the best thing ever..
Just started wet wrapping my excemay 10mo dd and have had 3 nights sleep so I know how awful it feels to have tried it all and nothing works.
And fwiw I think it's fine to leave them to cry in a safe place for a few mins. Safer than carrying them about when you're exhausted

Bless her.

I hope you slept too.

Don't worry about your supply. It is demand and supply so as long as she feeds, there will be milk.

Oh, fantastic! You must feel like a new woman.

I never really knew what "tired" was till ds was born - and I'd pulled all-nighters as a student. It's the never being able to fully catch up the lost sleep that does it, isn't it.

That's great news.

I am big fan of 'white noise'. We used to stick the hoover on or even put DS to sleep in his buggy in front of the tumble drier...whatever worked!

Good luck!

You poor thing; DD was exactly the same; yelled all evening whether we picked her up or put her down for 9 weeks. We let her cry and checked up on her every 12 mins (as recommended in the book we were following); and then at 9 weeks she became a fabulous sleeper, and has been ever since (touch wood).

RavenAK, it may be unpopular but I agree with your thoughts here.

Liahgen and Mrs B.

After I settled DS this eve I took DD into the bath (lavender drops and all) and fed her. Poured water over her to keep her warm.

She pooed all over the pair of us!

Then took her to my bed (after a quick sluicing of the poo) and fed fed fed. She has now been tucked up for an hour.

Am so happy I may have a little weep!

There are so many great ideas here and I am going to work my way through them so that I have a stock of 'methods' to use.

I also made sure that I gave her full feeds today and left decent gaps between - 2 to 3 hours. It does seem to have helped with the painful wind and she slept in her pram and her sling whilst I was out and about with DS.

I really could kiss you all.

DD would only settle to the sound of very loud music for a while - Aerosmith preferably . It can be totally random things which fix the problem. But stop being so hard on yourself NotSoRampantRabbit - tis very hard coping without sleep.

oh how great for you Rabbit, so pleased it worked - long may it continue

I must admit to watching with interest as DC2 due in a few weeks and am dreading the evenings - putting DS down - if DC2 is colicky. I shall be bookmarking this thread !

Try Colief

Infacol is shit

How are things today? Your post really tugged at my heart strings. I remember feeling just like that with DS. The more I would try to stop the crying, the more he would get agitated. I didnt have anyone who could help and didnt know any other mothers at the time either.

I never decided to do CIO as a policy but once got so upset and exhausted I put him in his cot and left him to cry whilst I cried on my bed. Within 5 mins, he was asleep and then slept and slept. In retrospect, I think he was sleep deprived and I was making things worse by constantly attempting to change nappies, tried to feed, waved rattles around, played baby music etc. Poor thing just wanted a quite dark room.

good luck, let us know how you are doing. If it all gets too much, just put the baby safely in her cot and lie down or take deep breaths. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.

Thanks very much for your post Gothmummy.

It's so reassuring to know that others share my pain! And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Things are ok.

DD is NOT the chilled out baby I feel is my due after a horrendous first year with DS. BUT she is nowhere near as unsettled as he was. I think when I posted initially it was because I was starting to feell all the same frustrations and anxiety that I did with him and to be honest was fearful for my mental health. DS and his reflux and the constant crying caused me to develop severe PND.

DD and I had a pretty good day all told.

I managed to get her to sleep in her moses basket for an hour at lunchtime. When she woke she was obviously gripey and unhappy but I took her to do the food shop in her sling and she was asleep throughout.

This evening we had a bath together again and she fed, but was not going to drop off so I plonked her on DH and poured myself a glass of wine and sat in the garden.

Then I cuddled her to sleep and popped her in her basket. She's been there for half an hour so I hope she's zonked out now for a few hours.

This thread has helped enormously. It's given me ideas, support, and a place to come if it all gets too much.

Thanks again.

Oh god I remember this period like it was yesterday, how awful for you I really feel for you. It really is shit, it was the worst few months of my life.
I second the osteopath suggestion, it worked for DS and he had shocking silent reflux and screamed ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. It really does test you to the limit but osteopathy really made a difference. Hope you get some rest soon XX.

No harm in getting her checked out with HV...3 days is quite strange epecially if she is not feed too well.

I too gave my DS a dummy for times like that he only had it for a few weeks then went to his thumb.

My friend said there is another product on the market similar to infacol but tons better will try and get the name for you.

BTW - Ignore the nasty, harm comments, dont rise to them...some people dont have lives and like to cause trouble. Youre doing a fab job particularly as you have a 4 yr old as well.

Your post made me shiver, can remember that feeling well. Not sure it will help but I too fed by the clock (well not exactly but tried not to feed more than 2 1/2 - 3hourly), which seemed to help. Also i used to fed my DS at say 7pm then go to bed and leave him with DH who would do what was needed (usually he cried but i shut bedroom door) and then bring him to me at 10 (ish) and woke me up to feed him. Did this until he was 8 weeks ish then tried to settle him in a routine.

Also only way i could stop him screaming was to lay him on his front over my lap on a cushion and bounce my legs and tap his back. He would initially scream all the more but in about 3 minutes settle a bit more and often fell asleep.

Hope things continue to improve for you.

oh I have to agree with monkey trousers Colief is brilliant!!! expensive (but you can get it on prescription if you beg enough) but brilliant. My little girl had a period of a few days where she fed, cried with a belly ache, then cried because she was hungry then we would start all over again. Colief - intant cure. Now have a happy contented little girl who is still not to keen on sleeping during the day but sleeps wonderfully with only 1 feed at night.

It IS NOT the same as infacol no matter what my Nurse and doctor said it is simply yeast grown lactase (an enzyme) that breaks down the lactose in the milk making it easier to digest.

I am not suggesting it is a cure for all babies problems but If you are as desperate as I was it has to be worth a go.