I am letting my 5 week old Cry It Out

[NotSoRampantRabbit]

I don't know what else to do. She hasn't slept properly for last 3 days - seems to be permanently uncomfortable - grunting, bad wind, can't settle. Am using infacol.

I am bf on demand - she is fed.

She has a clean nappy.

She is warm.

I have tried - feeding to sleep, cuddling, rocking, moby sling, walk in pram.

Am at wits end.

Feel shit.

Why don't my babies know how to sleep.

Have you tried the oddball things we do in desperate times? Car seat in front of washing machine on spin cycle, ipod on and play some music, let her listen to you running a bath, put something colourful on the TV etc.

The oddest things used to get my baby to sleep.

rabbit have you got a vibrating bouncy chair? get one tomorrow if not.

OK - she is calm and quiet and sucking her fingers.

If she starts screaming again I will do as Liahgen suggested and run a bath for us both.

I will check temp - have been checking anyway as was worried.

Will go to ruddy clinic tomorrow and seek advice.

Thanks all - don't feel so alone.

This Raymond Scott CD did and still does (mostly) work for my DD - can you tell how desperate I was at times?!

Is she comforted when she feeds? Can you lie on the bed and feed her lying next to you?

I also recommend an osteopath, it really helped with my DS, he had two sessions, at 6 and 7wo. He used to only settle when he was lay on my chest/over my shoulder iyswim. I always had to wait 30 mins (almost to the minute) before I could put him down after a feed, otherwise he would wake up crying .

When DS was little and didn't sleep we used to find being driven in the car helped sometimes. Do you have a partner who could do that and you could sleep for a bit?

if ahe's uncomfortable / trapped windy, have you tried some gentle tummy massage with some olive oil ?

You poor thing

There's nothing wrong in walking away for a few minutes and gathering yourself. I hope the CO helps.

Don't feel bad, it sounds as though you have done everything right. Sometimes you need to take a break for a short while and regain control and calmness. I don't mean that in a negative way at all, just that listening to crying is so utterly exhausing and draining.

Whilst Crying it out is something I would try desperately to avoid, your needs are also important. You can't look after a baby if you're too wound up by the constant niggles, so take some time out, just for a few minutes.

Oh, and that old chestnut 'It's just a phase'!

Got vibrating chair - she was happy in it until recently.

Keep trying dummy but she is not keen - likes her fingers but too little to keep them in.

Sounds like she is winding up again.

I will have to go try feed/bath/rock her.

And another vote here for a vibrating bouncy chair! My DD had a hernia at about 9wo and would only settle in her bouncy chair on vibrate - she used to sleep all night in it before her op.

Oh dear, my DC1 was like this and I was bfing on demand and what seemed like non stop. I know they next bit isn't going to be popular but I wish someone had said it to me - have you considered more of a structure to the feeds ?
I know it won't help you tonight but I had such an awful time with DC1 that for DC2 I knew I had to do something differently and fed more by the clock. Now I know that may not have been the difference but DC2 was sooo much easier as were DCs 3 and 4 all fed by the clock.
I'm really not trying to be controversial, I know exactly how you feel, I have no family near by and I used to dread each day knowing there would be no let up in the crying. If I could do it over its the one thing I would change.
Good luck

Sitting in front of the washing machine worked wonders for my lo.

bath is good

when dd had uncomfortable guts she used to lie face down on my tummy in the bath and would eventually relax enough to do the fart/poo that had been bothering her

made a mess but did help

Much sympathy - we have a 6 week old DS and a 4 year old DD. I don't think leaving for 5 minutes to preserve your sanity is CIO as such. Surely all second babies get left to cry a bit wilst the older child is fed, put to bed, comforted etc?
We have found that when DS is totally frantic for no apparent reason that the Harvey Karp 5 S's are the only thing that will calm him. They are calming techniques from his book Baby Bliss, that aim to replicate the womb environment - so swaddling,holding baby on side/stomach/ white noise (sushing), rocking (or swinging), sucking, is the only thing that will calm him - and we have to do all 5 at once - but it really does work! It is like finding an off switch.

Try a dummy if you haven't already. My DS was too little at the beginning for a dummy but used to fall asleep sucking my little finger. Used to nearly break my arm cos of the angle I had to sleep at but at least I got some sleep

Also could try a hairdryer? Had a friend who swore by it.

Its so tough and I really feel for you. You're doing everything you can and no, five minutes crying isn't going to do any damage I don't think.

Oh and my dd would only sleep on her side/stomach after a few weeks - we had to let her fall asleep then flip her over without waking her so that she was on her back - she was a really windy/sicky baby.

At that age my DS1 used to scream until he was completely exhausted. I think it was colic. We cuddled him, rocked him, fed him, burped him walked him round the block and still he screamed. I found it soul destroying at the time and yes, sometimes we let him be for a while and he seemed none the worse for it. It passed, he is a fab sleeper now, sleeps thro anything. It will get easier.

goldrock - I had a client recently who was told by her paed to spread feeds out - so she did - and baby was much less windy and uncomfortable. Less work for the digestion I guess, although like you say, controversial

Leaving her to cry for a short time is fine.

We used to put our DTs down at 7pm, shut the bedroom door and leave them to cry for 10 mins so we could eat our dinner in peace .

second the vibrating chair , my ds was like this with colic and it was hideous.
Whatever it takes to get you through it , many nights i fell asleep on the sofa and ds in his chair

actually both mine would sometimes get so overtired that nothing I did would soothe them, except leaving them alone. Even more so with second child as I simply couldn't be with him at the same time as putting DD to bed. Sometimes he'd be asleep after just a minute,sometimes half an hour.

i always think of it like when i have a really exciting day and then go to bed and can't sleep from all the input except until i've had a good long time to wind down. A baby gets in that state faster, and cries when they can't sleep.

If you're really sure there's nothing wrong: producing wet nappies, normal temperature etc don't worry.

Sometimes they are upset and there's nothing you can do.
I know you're not trying sleep training - you just want her to sleep in the here and now. Very understandable.

Also try the cherry teat dummy has bigger teat to stay in lo's mouth

She is asleep.

4 year old DS woke up though - but he can be presuaded back to sleep with promise of a spiderman sticker in the morning.

Thanks for all your help and suggestions.

Will save this thread and keep trying them til I find the 'off' switch.

MN is great.

oneopiniatedmother

I guess that;s what I felt was wrong. We have been trying everything. Picking her up, putting her down, trying to feed, rocking shushing, patting, and I just think that must have wound her up to the point that she couldn't settle no matter what.

It's not my style to leave a baby to cry but I had to for my sanity and it has worked.

Needed to post to get me through the initial crying when I put her down.

God babies are hard work...

There are so many good ideas here and I know you probably feel too tired to even try any of them let alone all of them. But you have to otherwise it will get your spirits down even lower and you are understandably exhausted!

I second the warm bath with baby on your chest. Even not in the bath keep skin to skin.

My DS was like this - was her birth traumatic? His was. I dont want to scare you because many babies are like this but I have since learnt my DS is on the autistic spectrum (DX pending) and even though your DC is very likely not perhaps the uncomfortableness is based on a similar problem. You said she was turning her head away when you tried to feed her - is she arching her back? I would think she has bad trapped wind and a warm bath and her mothers skin will help enormously. Some babies just didnt want to be born, in the sense I mean that they arent ready for the world at large and need to almost recreate the womb in the first months.