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Parenting

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Original poster

So, it turns out ds is a bolter. What do I do?

14 replies

snickersnack · 19/07/2009 21:28

It's only happened fairly recently but the minute he's out of the buggy, he's off. He doesn't care which way he goes, or what is in his way, he just runs very fast away from me.

It's a bit of a headache. I don't want to keep him strapped in the buggy the whole time, and it often isn't practical to have him in the buggy anyway - much prefer them walking/going in the sling if tired. But equally it's dangerous and stressful when he makes a run for it.

What do you suggest? He's just turned 2, he's a smart little thing but his language is not particularly advanced so it's hard to know how much of what I say goes in. He's almost totally immune to threats and instructions, by and large.

dh reckons reins though we both agree he'll hate it (ds, not ds...). I was thinking about one of those wrist straps, possibly. Or maybe the little back-packs with a strap attached? Or a totally different strategy, perhaps? We're off to a festival next weekend - I have visions of losing him forever in a crowd if I don't get this one sorted soon...

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wonderingwondering · 19/07/2009 21:30

Back pack with reins for dangerous situations- crowds or narrow pavements. And/or the wrist strap as a threat - worked with mine, they walked a lot better when they thought they'd have to wear it unless they behaved.

rookiemater · 19/07/2009 21:32

Hi DS was a bolter too. I'm not sure what you can do, we tried the back-packs with strap, DS threw himself on the middle of the road and refused to move, a bleepy thing that was meant to go off when he went too far, completely useless.

Good news is he grew out of it, can't remember when exactly it happened but he is now 3 and doesn't go far at all, so until then you just need to keep a very close eye on him and be proud of his adventurous spirit ( hard I know)

HecatesTwopenceworth · 19/07/2009 21:33

at his age, reigns would be better than wrist strap. More control and less risk of him throwing himself about and dislocating something!!

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onepieceoflollipop · 19/07/2009 21:33

dd2 is much the same. as soon as she is in the buggy/car seat she is protesting and squawking "walk walk" at me.

We do have reins, occasionally used (but as you may know they are one of those contentious mnet items! )

cornsillk · 19/07/2009 21:33

Reins and a wrist strap. My eldest was a bolter - be prepared!

onepieceoflollipop · 19/07/2009 21:37

It's a bit stressful at times, I do sympathise. dd2 bolted out of church today, I wasn't worried too much (no road nearby) but there is a big step onto a hard path.

I was shrieking at her "step, step" (she knows what that means) The vicar really laughed (in a nice way) when she stopped about 1mm away from the edge, turned and grinned and waved! Little monkey.

juuule · 19/07/2009 21:37

Reins.

bigdonna · 19/07/2009 23:35

hi im a childminder i have look after a few bolters.i normally start with wrist strap the first few times then they hold on to buggy for a few outings with the threat of the buggy.i have a mindee at the moment whom is 2.6yrs and is just getting where i can let him walk in front of me he even will stop before corners now!!!he doesnt speak much either but understands everything.

mrsruffallo · 19/07/2009 23:38

The main thing is to drum road safety into them.Use you big mummy voice.
And wear trainers

Jas · 20/07/2009 00:14

I have reins with a wrist strap attached so my hands are free and I can grab hold of something when he heads for a road.

DS is 3.6 and still going for it at every opportunity. Every day he starts the school run on foot, but finishes in the buggy once he has thrown himself on the floor/attempted to go in every garden we pass/dashed for the road. Again.

I am hoping he will learn eventually, but have had to put a gate in front of my front door as he also makes a run for it if he can get to the door.

MadEyeballsMoody · 20/07/2009 00:15

Backpack with reins here. I have an 18 month old bolter and everything goes in one ear and out the other. Threats, promises, explanations. No good. She holds hands then, depending on the situation she gets the reins or the buggy and she can scream her head off for all I care. As long as she isn't under a car she can throw whatever strop she likes. She's just too young to reason with at the moment.

ChoChoSan · 20/07/2009 09:59

Definitely reins.

Before you let your child out of buggy, show them the reins and explain what you expect, if you think they are gearing up to bolt. If they leg it, then on with the reins until next time.

Do make sure that you give them the opporunity for freedom in the park or something quite regularly, as it must be quite stifling for energetic kids who want to let off steam to be constantly stuck right next to mum or dad.

Original poster

snickersnack · 21/07/2009 20:45

Lol at "big mummy voice". Will practice that one.

Have got a rucksack with a wrist strap - we'll see how that works this weekend. I'm hoping the novelty of being able to put all his stones and his muslin (without which he will not currently leave the house) in it and carry them around will mean he doesn't notice the strap.

And will start talking to him about safety. And wear trainers.

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becktay · 21/07/2009 21:03

i second chochosan, we used reins a bit for roads etc but made sure we went to a few places where ds1 could run for miles and we could still see him. also helped to say things like 'stay where we can see you' rather than 'stop, no, no etc!' telling him what we wanted him to do rather than focusing on what we didn't want him to do.
it did end eventually but was highly annoying. you have my sympathies x

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