in despair

[camperdahlia]

I take the morning off work so I can take my 3yo ds to a children's theatre. Take him to lunch afterwards on the river, at great expense, so he can watch the boats. He misbehaves all through lunch, and refuses to eat anything.

I know he's three, I know I can't blame him for this.

I get home, and HAVE TO WORK THIS AFTERNOON. Our nanny arrives to take him and his little sister out so I can work. He refuses to go with her. Physically won't leave the house.

What can I do? Nanny, who I pay with about 90% of what I earn, takes dd out alone. DS is here with me, I can't do anything expect steal one minute to post this.

Because I am near to tears. I'm going to have to work nights to get anything done. I adore my son, but I despair of him ever being normal, or non-clingy, or listening to a word I say.

Honestly don't know why I bother with anything.

Poor you. Not sure what to say but didn't want you to feel no one cared.

Has he always been clingy? Is this a new thing?

I'm very very sympathetic - as one home worker to another I understand that feeling of mounting despair, panic and frustration when you cannot get a thing done and a deadline is looming.

However, doesn't the nanny just taking dd out rather defeat the object of the nanny?

I understand what you're saying about how he kicked up an enormous fuss and she physically couldn't get him out of the house.

Couldn't she therefore have stayed at home and kept both of them out of your hair? Admittedly much less peaceful than them both being out, but probably more productive on the work front, no?

I have a 3 y.o. DS. It's a bloody difficult phase. All the stroppiness of a 2 year old with increased strength and vocabulary.

Yep same here with my DS. He has just turned 4 so am praying that age 4 is the last of it!

to be honest - my lot at 3 would have been the same. If I wanted to take them out in the afternoon I wouldn't do something with them in the morning - they just didn't have the stamina for both.

So - if I really needed to have some time away from him in the afternoon to work I would keep the morning very low key.

Or as MHB says I would have left them both the nanny at home in the afternoon and tried to work in another room.

Message withdrawn

That's what buggies with straps are for

you let him have his own way
he said he didn't want to go with nanny
and you let him

I know it's really hard but he has to know he has to do what you say otherwise he will do the same again and again

Be strong....
Your the mummy, your in control,, when you have to leave you have to leave,,, he WILL accept it eventually,,, I have a 3yr old daughter and 5yr old son, they are both making me want to rip my hair out at the minute,,, but you gotta just pull ur socks up and get tough,, or they walk all over you....

Sorry to post and then disappear - weekend of insane busyness away from computer.

Thanks you all for the great advice. I think I do need to walk away myself, and then both my dc would settle down and be fine. And I do need to be stronger.

And, I was thinking today, I do need to sleep more. I am impatient and wishy washy and emotional because I don't go to bed until midnight every night. And so am knackered.

So tempting to just stay up once dc in bed, just mooching about being myself - for hours! But am in process of committing to resolution of bed at 9pm for the next fortnight. Better rested mummy = better mummy.

Thank you all again v v much.