What do you do with your 4 month old?!

[viennesewhirl]

Apart from feeding, changing nappy, putting down for nap, cuddling, of course.

I feel like mine spends a lot of the time lying on his activity mat or sitting in the bouncy chair. We go out for a walk at least once a day - but then he's either in the ergo or pushchair. I dunno - I mean, I KNOW he can't do much, but it all feels so passive! I guess I feel like he just spends a lot of time watching me do housework etc.

DS is 10 months old. When he was 4 months old we went to baby massage, baby yoga and baby swimming classes, and Buggy Fit. We've also done "Mummy and Me" pilates classes. At about 6 months we started going to Storytime at the library - which he loved as there was singing too - but now he is crawling he won't sit still!

Oh God - I really am slack. Have signed us up for baby massage, so that's something. Will have to find out about yoga, swimming etc. - I'm in Austria, they don't have all the same things available as in the UK, but we'll see...

You are not slack!

Just put him in the pram and go for a walk.

I see you are in Austria. I would go for a walk and then sit in a nice caffe to enjoy a hot choc and those fab Austrian pastries (ok i am lazy and selfish).

Aw, thanks you two. This is ds2, and I actually feel much more relaxed with him. Didn't manage to do anything with ds1 because I was (though I wouldn't have admitted it at the time) overwhelmed and spending most of the day trying to get him to nap!

There has been a lot going on at home - during the first 6 weeks, ds1 and dh were both ill, and ds1 and baby's heads collided so baby was in hospital for a few days - dh is actually STILL ill, we have been doing some renovation stuff on the apartment, I run a small business with a partner and although officially on maternity leave, there are always things I need to do. And at the moment I'm planning my 40th bday party too!

I feel like I'm always checking email, doing housework, clearing up what looks like a building site, doing bits of work/talking to partner about work etc. etc. So my days are full! Just worried that they're too boring for baby.

No dont worry, there is plenty time for 'activities' for many years. Singing and the occasional pee-k-a-boo is enough for now

Happy 40th!

Thanks :-) And in response to what you said before - we have a great coffee house at the corner of our building, so yes, we have had many happy moments in there with ds1 too, eating cake and generally just enjoying life!

Also neglected to mention ds1, but a large part of the day goes on thinking about what to make him for supper, shopping, cooking - and then picking him up from Kindergarten, trying to do some sort of meaningful activity with HIM (ie not plonking him front of telly too often), supper, bath, bedtime etc.

Eh.. you know it all anyway, fellow mums of more than one.

Viennesewhirl - Blimey, give yourslef a break. I did all those crazy manic mummy thiings as much for me as DS, as well, I had pretty much nothing much else to do after I'd thrown the Hoover around. If he wasn;t my PFB, I doubt that I would have time to get him dressed before midday! I occassionally look after my niece and nephew (4 and 7) and just keeping us all happy is an acheivement!

Everybody I knew went to millions of baby classes/buggy fit/sing and sign at 4mo.

I just gave them this face every time they asked me to come along to baby college

Make the most of the (relatively) quiet time before your DS is mobile and vocal! Long walks, go for coffee, visit friends - all of it's a new experience to him

but then I am a lazy anti-social cow, so group stuff isn't really my thing anyway

sheeta - I'm anti-social too (!), so tend to shy away from group activities; and they always seem to be scheduled when baby would nap anyway, so I'd rather have him at home in his bed. And I agree; it's quite nice to enjoy this time with him - they grow so fast and life just keeps getting more and more hectic. I guess I won't be having any more babies, seeing as I'm such an old bag, so am trying to enjoy every baby-moment of this one, even the sleep deprivation!

Yes, I found that too - always at 11am. tbh, when DS was 4mo I was barely out of my pyjamas by 11am, let alone both of us ready and out of the house! (only just got the hang of that one now really)

You will end up needing to go to more and more activities as he gets older, so enjoy not having to atm, well.. that's what i do anyway

My 3 month old dd2 - just gets taken places such as the supermarket, friends houses etc. dd1 is only 2 1/2 and is still home so most 'activities' are centred around her. I look back on the days when I just had dd1 as a baby and I spent so much time talking and interacting with her. I feel a bit sorry for dd2 as I only have snippets through the day when I can sit her down and chat away to her!

Babies do not need classes.
If you enjoy them, fair enough, but they are certainly not necessary and to my mind are a total con.

When ds was that age, we went to the post-natal group (which was for me!) once a week and the rest of the time just pottered about, went out in the buggy, etc. Oh, and met up with friends a lot too, for my sanity.

I'm sure I posted something similar when my DS was 4 months. I wasn't sure what to do with him and then freaked out even more when the MiL unkindly said that I wasn't stimulating him enough and that he needed more toys. Utter bollocks that was. I tried baby groups, but IME they aren't for babies, they couldn't give a toss for them, they are for mums.

I stopped listening to people telling me what I should be doing with my baby and and did what came natural. Get on with YOUR life and involve your baby in that. Take him from room to room as you get on with things. Put him in his bouncer and let him watch you do the ironing/washing up/solo conga round the kitchen - he'll be facinated trust me.

excellent advice from HarryB there

Oh and never underestimate the power of BabyTV (Sky channel 623). I am not suggesting for a moment that a 4 month old should be babysat by a TV, but my DS's love for Pitch & Potch has given me a few 5 minute breathers when I've been slowly but surely losing my mind.

All in moderation of course!

says Harry sat here with DS watching Eggbirds

Just seen you're in Austria Viennesewhirl - hope you can get BabyTV there

There's BabyTV? jealous

"Babies do not need classes.
If you enjoy them, fair enough, but they are certainly not necessary and to my mind are a total con."

Couldn't agree more, nicky. I am constantly baffled by the amount of classes my friends take their babies (yes!) and toddlers to. Plenty of time for classes and rigidity when they're older, IMO. For now, why not just chill out and enjoy this time together doing simple, natural stuff? It's not for long.

While I agree that classes are not necessary I do think they're fun for mum and baby, and that how you use them affects what you get out of them.

I've been to various things since DS was tiny (he started a music group at 7 weeks and absolutely loved it) but the parents that make their babies and toddlers sit down and move their hands for them, and make them join in when they don't want to - that all feels way too rigid to me. For me, those 'classes' are an opportunity to see other kids (and adults) doing the activities. He has always loved to watch other people, and rarely joins in past a bit of instrument bashing, but he does learn by watching, and has great fun!

They're also a brilliant way of getting out of the house and meeting other mums, often different ones to your ante/postnatal groups.

At 4 months we did the odd bit of baby yoga, weekly music 'class', a singing group and lots of sitting around in cafes while the babies fed/gurgled/interacted with us and each other. Much more fun than sitting at home, but then I never tried to get much done other than looking after PFB DS

Of course it's good to get out of the house but there are much cheaper ways of doing it than many of the classes out there. Some of the prices are ludicrous!
For example, I do to a playgroup in a local children's centre. It's free, there is a wide range of toys AND there is a singsong at the end. It's all they need as babies/toddlers IMO.

I go to buggy workout (£2), baby group (£1), baby massage (50p) and baby bounce (free) with my 4 month old. I mainly go to get out of the house and because I was aorried about my DD not geting enough attention because she is the 3rd but as it turns out she actually gets the most attention as she needs it! I also go because it gets me away from the housework.