Help - potty training driving me bonkers and don't know what to do for the best

[Cathg27]

Hi there, DS is 3years 3 months. He doesn't want to wear nappies but at home and his one playgroup session a week rarely shows any sign that he even knows he done a wee.
Some days he's a star and asks for the potty, he can be pretty good about poos as well (esp if he's got no pants on) But he just doesn't seem to notice wees so much. The frustrating thing is that he's perfect at Nursery and usually only has one accident a day.

I kind of don't mind how long it takes him, but I think it' smore of an emotional thing than a physical thing for him (ie he doesn't want to stop being a 'baby') and I don't know what is the best and most supportive thing to do as reward charts aren't going to work, or game sor songs.

I'd be really interested to hear from any one who's got any suggestions please, how 'damaging' would it be to go back to pull ups - should I just grit my teeth and stay alert with the mop?

I'm really grateful for any advice or ideas, thanks for reading this.
xC

I've just started on this road - so no idea if my ideas will help. My DS is almost 3 - and was very taken with the idea of big boy pants (which he helped to choose). And I firmly believe in bribery! A wee in the potty means a (small) chocolate star. I put him on the potty every 30 minutes or so, and always before we go out/start doing something major (like sitting down for lunch). Agree that at Nursery (where he is 2 days a week) he is fantastic. He's dry during the day if I follow my regime - but is only just realizing that he needs to actually ask for a potty. Having asked others with sons that seems about usual - the actual linking the need for a pee and having a pee does take time. Getting nowhere fast with poos! I often feel completely maddened by the whole thing - there is nothing that is liable to make me (silently) fume/grind my teeth than yet another pair of poo-y pants. But EVERYONE says it takes time and that every child takes a different amount of time!

I think it does take time for some to get it. And also, a large part of it could just be down to "can't be bothered" with it all.

I felt like we weren't really getting anywhere with DD after a month but she didn't want to go back to nappies so I grit my teeth and scoured here for suggestions and this is what worked.

a) Bribery is definitely the way to go. One chocolate button for every wee.

b) To save your sanity, put them back in training pants/bright bots etc (not pull ups). This way, they feel all the wetness but it stays in their pants so you're not mopping up/cleaning the sofa the whole time. You can now relax a lot more and this helps massively. Once I chilled about it, DD came on leaps and bounds cos we weren't all stressed about it.

c) Poos needed more bribery. We went out and bought lots of cheap plastic tat and put it all in a lucky dip. If they do a poo on the potty, they get a prize. Trust me, this really worked. We'd had all poos in pants for a month then suddenly all poos in the potty when we introduced this.

d) Explain to them about digestion and how poo/wee is stored in bladder and so on, when it gets full they need to go, so that they understand the process. Do believe this helped.

Good luck, others may tell you they'll do it when they're ready and could be right. But I felt with my DD that she'd never be ready without some serious incentives and it worked quickly when we put all the above into practice.