Complete aversion to the potty

[EmilyD]

Have our son in pants (3 in September!) and he tells us when he's done a poo or wee but he just won't go on the potty, we have tried 3 different ones! The only time he will go on the potty is to sit on it and make a pretend peeing sound!!! I'll ask him if he needs to go and he says no and then 2 mins later pees in pants!

What should i do, wait and try again later or keep perservering and keep pants on.???

Help.....argh....

I've got no idea, but would love the magic answer as our ds is now 3 1/2 and still in nappies. sigh... complete aversion to both potty and toilet - gets hysterical if we try him without a nappy, but knows when he's going to wee and poo.

Nursery are putting the pressure on for him to be trained as he's due to move up to the next (last!) class and should be dry during the day - like everyone else already is... We've got until July or Sept. at the latest to sort it out. Aarrggghhh!!!

Sorry - no help at all - just needed to vent...

My DS didn't like the potty - so he used the toilet. He didn't go into pants until the week before his 3rd birthday though if that's any help.

EmilyD, I'm so glad you posted!!!! DS is slightly older than yours (2.10) but also hates his potty! He's been watching Potty Time with Bear so I thought i'd bring the potty out and he had such a fit that he ended up throwing it at the telly!

I'm not sure wether he doesn't know that he needs to go or wether he cannot tell me, but he never has to date.

I tried a couple of weeks ago to put him in pants but to be honest it didn't worry him if he was wet and I was a nervous wreck watching out for accidents!

I've heard a lot of people say that you should wait until they are ready, but that's difficult as time goes on, isn't it! I was hoping it'll be easier when he can stay in the garden during the summer, but we'll have to wait and see.

after all this rambling, all I can say is that you're not alone, and to not get stressed out by it. Now I'm off to practice what i preach!

Sister in law didn't get nephew trained until he was nearly 4, he eventually agreed to go on toilet! Try getting your dp's to take sons to toilet with them, everytime they go, might encourage them, this was what they resorted to and it eventually worked!?!

I was going to say have you tried the toilet? Some children just prefer it.

How long have you been trying? It might be worth putting nappies back on and forget for a while, and then start again with a fresh approach. Sometimes we get so worked up the children sense this and do the same.

When you start again, leave him with no pants/trousers as much as possible, keep a potty with you in the room (obviously you can't do that if he prefers the toilet).

Does he have a favourite teddy or toy? If so, rather than discussing your sons potty training. Potty train the teddy. I know it sounds silly, but if your son watches you everynow and then put teddy on the potty and then give teddy lots of praise for doing a wee, he may feel encouraged to give it a go himself. And then of course whether he wees or not, you can give him lots of praise and help him learn what to do.

When he wets himself, don't say anything, lead him to the bathroom, clean and change him and just make a small comment like "you should have done that on the potty". Don't be angry, if anything look as bored as you can, so he is not getting any attention.

You will get there in the end!!
Good luck

Fran's advice is good, was going to suggest potty training teddy too.

We are going through this at the moment on this thread and things that have worked for us are (and you could use these for teddy):

-stickers for potty and child
-no clothes on bottom half for a couple of weeks. We found pants can trigger an accident, so nothing until they get confident with what they're trying to do
-sit and read books for ages on potty, eventually something will happen. Have a big pressie ready for when it does (my ds got a new dinky car each time he did a pooh in the early days)
-sticker chart
-nothing on at home, but pull-ups when out

Hope these help. Have a read of our thread for more ideas

I hated the potty too. Preferred the toilet. Would run screaming from potty. Then, at 2.5, told my mother I wanted to wear knickers and use the toilet. So I did from then on.

i was reading thread and thinking of own experience and read 99rb's advice, which was pretty much what i was thinking especially on the not wearing anything on bottom half, my ds took a while to be able to manage with pants, i think they feel like they have a nappy on. also when no pants if they start to go you can hold potty and catch wee and then lots of praise[even if 90% did get the floor].but i with everyone else don't worry to much if it does't work. good luck

my ds is 2&5 mths, we started the potty training almost 3 weeks ago and for the first 2 weeks it went really well, the down side was that if he has only pants on he was ok, but as soon as you put shorts or trousers on him he wet himself. anyway last sat it went downhill really fast, in fact he didnt use the potty at all on sat, just him pants , and the same on sunday, monday & tusday a bit better. so today i have made a stickers chat and ever time he has a wee in the potty he gets a star, so far we have only had 2 wees on the floor. my point is sticker charts do work, that and not making any fuss over weeing on the floor. we only started the potty training cause he wanted to be like his mates....HTH

it sounds quite stressful - could you just hold off for a while and try again in a month or so? my ds loved to wind me up by throwing hissy fit at mention of potty but wasa fine about it a few weeks later. it'll be warmer in a few months too so you can have him running round in t shirt only then

Thanks for all the advice. I think I'll leave it until the summer and try again, the ironic thing is at nursery last week he said he needed a wee and said he wanted to go on the potty but when he got there changed his mind and peed in his pull ups. he gives all the signs to be ready and sometmes even asks to go in pants but then just pees in them, he does get upset when he's wet and we don't get angry etc. We've tried various methods of showing with teddy, watching us go to loo etc etc. I think we'll just take a rest and not got stressed about it and put on pants as much as possible, maybe eventually he'll get fed up of peeing in them and realise there is a better way of doing it!!! :-0.

It is reassuring to know that there are lots of others out there with same problems.