tantrums in the middle of the night , advice needed please

[woodlands35]

hi, my dd (3.6) has just been moved into her own bedroom 12 days ago & its become a nightmare , every night she has woken up & taken the most terrible tantrums i have ever seen , she screams & kicks walls & doors & this lasts for over 2 hours each night until she has worn herself out & finally goes back to sleep . last night i ended up in tears as i hate to see her get into such a state . my dh works shift work so its all left up to me .
my dd has eczema & the stress of all this has caused a flare up , I'm dreading bedtime tonight as i know what lies in store
i have posted this in behaviour topic also .

Sorry, no real advice but why does she have the tantrum? Have you been able to ask her why she's behaving like that -I would imagine at 3.6, she should be able to tell you?

TBH, if it were me, I would let her come and sleep with me but then I'm a pushover.

does she have night light? is she hot is her skin itching and uncomfortable in this heat

can she tell you what the problem is?

is she having nightmares is she afraid of something too dark,

woodlands, is she actually awake or could it be something like a night terror she is having??

hi , try i am a pushover too which is why she is only been moved into her own bedroom now at 3.6 yrs [blush ] when she calms down i talk to her and all she says is she wants to be in my bed , its my fault for keeping her in our room for soo long but she was a prem baby & always woke up during night with itching so i kept her close to me i could put on her creams etc during the night , she is just simply too big for our bed now & we cant get any sleep with her because she rolls around the bed in her sleep hitting us both ,
bubblagirl yes she has a peppapig night light , i knew we would be in for a rough time getting her to settle in to her own room but never thought she would react this badly ,

hi thisisyesterday , oh she is definitely wide awake , & stays wide awake for a couple of hours until she wears herself out enough to go back to sleep ,

could you get a little blow-up bed for her to have in your room if she wakes?

could you amke a deal and tell her to sgo to bed in her bed and make a bed up on floor of your room and when she wakes in night she can lay on that not in your bed she may as gets used to own room eventually sleep longer

if it helps my ds is 4 and sleeps in own bed but in night comes on make shift bed some night she manages to sleep through all night in own bed

she goes to bed without any fuss amazingly enough , i take her upstairs about 8-8.30pm (depending on how tired she is) i read a story book of her choice & then we cuddle until she nods off , all nice & calm
but always seems to be 1am she wakes up screaming to get into my bed , i go into her & lie beside her but that's not what she wants & goes into a full blown tantrum that's lasts what feels like forever. i have thought about the make up bed in our room but would that be like taking a step backwards ? might have to resort to it though ,

to be honest i find it easier as ds has night time separation anxiety from being with me for so long
i had sleep therapist who suggested this as it gets him used to not sleeping with me but im still near we have had few nights where he sleeps all night in his own bed but the others goes straight back to sleep in my room on make shift bed easier than the crying etc

i was told as long i put to be din his bed gradually he will as he gets older get used to sleeping in his room just eases anxiety

thanks bubblagirl , i think that is exactly what is wrong with my dd , up until 6 months ago i couldn't even go to the bathroom without dd crying to come with me , she is due to start Montessori school in sept so i am trying to get her to become a bit more independent b4 then as i worry about her reaction to being away from me .
she is very independent in many other ways she dresses herself & brushes her own teeth etc .

well take small steps put to bed in her room when wakes in night bring her to your room but not in your bed

then you both get sleep if she moans and wants your bed simply say its down there or your own room if keeps on take to her room if calls to come to your room its down there or your own room took no time at all for ds to settle on make shift bed

good luck some children just need us mummies for longer no 18 yr old is still in bed with there mums or on there bedroom floor lol

thanks bubblagirl, going to hang in there for another night or two if at that stage she still wont settle then ill buy 1 of those blow up beds , ha god i hope she is in her own room by age of 18.
fingers crossed for tonight , she is cuddled up on couch with dh & she looks exhausted poor thing.

good luck x

Do you know - I absolutely think that you are doing the right thing - I think that consistency is the key and maybe a chat in the day about who sleeps where etc?

I think I read on here about another poster who bought a blow up bed and moved in to their DCs bedroom so the DC saw them there sleeping when they woke in the night and were reassured and went back to sleep. They soon stopped waking at all and then the parents moved back in to their own room. I don't know if that is a possibility?

I do remember starting the night in my parents bed as a small child and then being transferred over when they came to bed. I remember feeling that their bed was the familiar place and my bed was strange and unwelcoming. Firmness worked with me and I just got used to it over time.

thanks biscuitstuffer i was doubting myself (prob due to lack of sleep} i was feeling a little bit cruel to be insisting on her sleeping (or not) in her own room but sleeping in-between my husband & i is not helping her with her eczema as the body heat off both of us is making her itch especially in this heat , my gut instinct is to keep trying for another few nights & see how it goes