Anyone read the Guardian Family piece today about having a second child?

[alittleteapot]

Gist of it is she fell out of love with her first born straight away when second child born and had to work really hard to get he love back.

Made me cry! But I am 26 weeks pregnant with second child and crying at anything.

Did it ring bells with people? I'm already nervous about my how it will affect my first child when no 2 comes along but this was another angle on it that freaked me out a bit!

I'd also question the fact that if she was in such a dark place how did she still manage to pop out the rather chipper book Three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush, 2001). From what I've been told of PND getting dressed is hard work and writing a book, publicizing it and bring it 2 children would be quite a stretch.

"I suspect this is another example of Guardian journalists over egging the pudding as they can't think of an article this week."

I think that is a little harsh.

My mum kept the article for me to read today as she knows I went through something similar when I had my second child. It rang a lot of bells and had me in floods of tears. I had an easy birth and definitely didn't have PND but my feelings for dd changed almost overnight and it was awful.

What helped was that I had a post natal doula and she did lots of stuff with dd so I wasn't stuck with the two of them all the time. Also I was acutely aware of how I was feeling and terrified of ending up like my Granny who has always blatently favouritised my uncle over my mother and cause my mum a lot of hurt. Like the journalist I had to force myself to spend time one on one with dd and was able to rebuild the relationship.

I'd imagine that what I and this journalist experienced is not typical though - none of my friends have or my sisters. I was completely unprepared as I never imagined anything coming between me and dd - when I was pregnant with ds I was feeling sorry for him in advance because I assumed that if anything I'd ignore him in favour of the more interesting toddler.......

Liath I hope you don't think I was being flippant.

I didn't mean to be harsh, I was merely trying to point out that many of us have feelings towards our children which are less than charitable. It is obvious that after the birth of a new baby, with all the stress and sleep deprivation comes with it, emotions are bound to be a little off kilter.

It does not mean that you have a major problem, are a bad mother or is a serious issue.

What articles like this often do, rather than normalise such feelings, make you feel like you have an issue or condition which is so extraordinary it is worthy of national comment.

In my humble opinion mumsnet is a far better. You come on here, say that one of your children has been annoying the hell out of you, a couple of other people say 'yeah mine too' and we all get on with our days.

Please don't think I am trying to belittle or undermine Post natal depression, I'm not. I'm just trying to say that we have all sorts of feelings everyday and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us.

Can I please clarify, after my last post, that I love both of my children very dearly indeed and also feel very positive thoughts about both of them far more often

It did ring a few bells for me, more along the lines of how my tiny cute toddler was now this massive hulking pre-schooler, as others have said.
I also went out of my way to make sure DD1 didn't feel left out/pushed aside as I figured (in my sleep deprived addled mind) that she was more of a danger to teh baby than the other way round, so DD2 got a lot of foot bouncing in the chair and fed and then put down so DD1 could have a cuddle.
I do love them both equally but slightly differently though, although I feel that is down to their ages and being differently capable fo thigns.

Good article though.

does anyone have a link to the article? thanks!

here