Do mothers of girls enjoy their children more?

[ilikesunshine]

Just wondering... I have two dss and spend a lot of time wondering whether life would have been easier with girls. Any experiences to make me feel better about having boys?

NellytheElephant - your daughters sound fab! So... emotionally mature and intelligent!!! So girls and boys are very different, but all are little people with their own little personalities. Zipzap of course you're doing great and you enjoy your children - I am really surprised that you've gone 4 yrs and still feel teary thinking about girls.
I totally sympathise with the shock of finding out i was going to have a boy, but somehow when he was born that all changed. Can you speak to your GP about some help. It must be hard to stop feeling sad and just say, yes - i've got two boys and it's great! I think your GP MUST be able to refer you to someone who can help with this!!? I think I spent too much time alone for baby's first 6 months, but once I found a mum to talk to about everything I decided to just get out and about and enjoy being a mummy.

NellytheElephant - your daughters sound fab! So... emotionally mature and intelligent!!! So girls and boys are very different, but all are little people with their own little personalities. Zipzap of course you're doing great and you enjoy your children - I am really surprised that you've gone 4 yrs and still feel teary thinking about girls.
I totally sympathise with the shock of finding out i was going to have a boy, but somehow when he was born that all changed. Can you speak to your GP about some help. It must be hard to stop feeling sad and just say, yes - i've got two boys and it's great! I think your GP MUST be able to refer you to someone who can help with this!!? I think I spent too much time alone for baby's first 6 months, but once I found a mum to talk to about everything I decided to just get out and about and enjoy being a mummy.

When you have 2 DSs, though, it enables you to see how very different from each other 2 boys can be, so that the traits you might have thought were because they were a boy, is ACTUALLY, just an age thing, or a personality thing, or a birth-order thing.

My DSs are very different to each other. The OP is having a hard time because of the boys age, as much as anything.

For those of you with a mix of boys and girls, there is a danger, I would think, in comparing your DS with your DD, and concluding that any differences are down to gender alone.

Oh Zipzap, your post makes me so

I was soooo desperate for a little girl I cried when I found out it was a boy. My sister and i are so close to my mum, I think I just always just imagined I'd have a daughter and have a similar relationship with my DD.... It made it even harder as I knew my mum was disappointed to even though she tried to hide it.

Obviously as the pregnancy went on I accepted it and was just relieved to have a healthy pregnancy, but to be honest I never really believed people when they told me that I wouldn't care a jot when he was born -deep down I felt ever so slightly that people with boys had got second prize .

And then the day arrived that I met my little man - without doubt the happiest day of my life He's 4 months now and I can't even begin to explain how I feel about him. I can't wouldn't swap him for anyone in the the world. And my mum absolutely dotes on him too!

NellytheElephant - how funny - your dds sound exactly the same as mine!

Basically i think its down to personality - I have 2 dds, 5 and 3, and a 5 week old ds, so can't comment on bringing up a boy yet, but the girls are definately not easy - headstrong, determined, stroppy, argumentative. My girls have very different personalities but are both challenging. Sometimes DD1 is so difficult i feel I don't like her very much even though I love her to bits IYSWIM. We fight more, but I feel emotionally closer to her than to DD2, who is so cute and funny but a real little monkey.

I have a few friends who have one of each and generally find their girls more emotionally exhausting, and the boys more physically exhausting.

Ilikesunshine - I really hope you can just enjoy your DSs for who they are - precious individuals - with all the challenges and joys they bring.

as a mother of lots of one and one of the other - i beg to differ op

dd is a love but from 10 onwards the scales redress

little boys may be more work ( i think they may be) but it all evens out

i lurve boys!

Nelly your children sound just like mine - headstrong, beautiful and hungry! Roughly the same ages and genders! From my experience, the boy is easier - but then he is my third and so I am more relaxed.

Definately agree that the age they are at (4 adn 2 is challenging for parents), birth order and personality are the main things. I think gender may have a small impact too though.

Hope things get easier soon for you OP

babyboysmum - are you me? I could have written that post!!

Oh Wooslet, bet you were just like me, smiling politely when everyone said it wouldn't matter when he was born! It's all girls in our family and I just couldn't for the life of me imagine myself with a little boy!

Looking back I can't believe I felt like that - DS is the absolute love of my life. I'd still love a girl one day if I possible but I'd be equally delighted with another boy now.

It was only when a friend from work e-mailed me to tell me she was having a girl I realised how much my feelings had changed. Instead of the normal pang of envy, I just felt a bit sorry for her as no matter how lovely her baby, I knew she couldn't possibly get one as lovely as my little DS

I also have one of each, my ds (6) is the most loving, sensitive and caring child one could ever ask for, and he's a mummys boy to boot, he can be very boisterous but never in a violent way, he loves his rough and tumble with dad but also loves his cuddles and stories with me, but on the bad side, he's a terrible eater and we've had our problems with him at school, he talks and talks, doesn't listen when he should be and if he doesn't want to do something no force on this earth will budge him.

My daughter is 18 months old, she throws the worst tantrums known, she screams when she wants something, she wont sit still in her buggy, she takes off her shoes and throws them away, she screams for her juice bottle only to throw that away aswell, she never sits still, she makes a mess of everything, pulls dvd's out of the case and posts them into the video recorder, rips up any paper that she can grab and wants my attention all the time, but she is a very good eater, will eat anything you put in front of her, she likes to do our recycling (putting items into the bins) she likes to help with the housework, she absolutely loves babies and will fawn over them although still being a baby herself, and she pulls the most funniest faces I can't ever stay angry at her, only recently she has started being affectionate towards me, although the wee fella can get kisses and cuddles on demand.

When they play together they are either tearing each other apart or they are playing so nicely and giving each other kisses and cuddles, I love both my children to death but being the ages they are my son is the easiest, my daughter has been nicknamed El Distructo.

They both have their good and bad points but ateotd they are children and thats the fun thing about them xx

I have to say I have a 4 month DD and having read this thread - eek! Please tell me there is something that's good about having a daughter...(I know that's not the point of the thread but now terrified about the upcoming trauma given everyone is seeming to say what a 'mare they are having with girls...)

My friend has two boys and two girls. She says the boys are much easier: make sure they have lots of exercise and food and they're happy. There are far more levels to the girls, she says.

Hi there -

I'm a mom of 3 boys and it's really frustrating for me when I hear moms of girls tell me their daughters are harder work and no worries and that I'm not missing much, etc. There's something they'll have that we'll never have or be able to understand - other than remembering what it's like to be a daughter and of our relationship with our own moms. I guess I feel terribly pitied and that everyone's trying to be nice and make me feel better when I'd rather have 100% honesty (as well as feel I can be honest without having some types tell me I have no gratitude or imply I don't love my boys). I'd love to talk more if you're ever interested - if you're ever feeling sorta isolated in this regard. It's not always easy relating or being relatable (!) with moms who have a daughter...even when they have more than one boy as well! I've gotten to the point in which I view them as an entirely different species and I see them as very, very blessed. Whining little girls and all. Just being real here, and hope you don't mind!

Thanks,
Theresse

Oh, well, haha never mind... not only is the thread old, but they don't allow post-editing (??!) so I can't delete the message I guess! I meant to send it as a private message, if that isn't clear! : - /

ha ha.. when I saw the screen at my 20 week scan, there was ds, flashing this thing with pride.. I'll admit, visions of party dresses, late night chats and hair bows flew through my head (I should point out that due to a medical issue I have, ds will very likely be my only child) but I got over it very quickly. I'm very close to my mum, and I suppose I wanted a daughter to one day be close to me in the same way..

However, when my ds was born, I fell head over heels in love. I'm besotted with him. He is 16mo now and sometimes I still stare at him, and can't believe he is mine. He is quirky, kind, appreciative, bright and clever and so loving. He is ace.

I wouldnt swap him for all the girls in the world

But Theresse, there are mums who manage to have that kind of closeness with a son.

My mum thought like you, it would be her daughter that would supply that kind of special closeness and for a while it was like that. But now we are grown up it is actually my brother she is closest to, not because she and I have fallen out, just because they have this very special relationship- and because they are more like each other.

I am very close to my own dd and we have a great relationship. But she is very very different from me; hearing her reactions sometimes makes me think she is a totally alien species. Our good relationship rests on our mutual ability to open up to something totally different.

Ds otoh "makes sense" to me iyswim. His reactions are like mine, I can understand where he's coming from.

Dd is far more like my mother, whom I love dearly, but whose reactions I have never understood in the least degree.

I don't know who I will be closer to when they are grown up, it will depend on all sorts of factors.

So far, ds has been much easier then my two girls, but may be that's simply because he;s my third child and I have more of an idea of what I'm doing? Actually I don't have more of an idea of what I'm doing; I just worry less

Theresse - if you want honest: it;s fantastic having both boys and girls. I am very lucky.

Yes, I would say that IME mothers of girls enjoy their children more than mothers of boys. But that may be because I am a girly girl who loves having a daughter and therefore so are my friends. I make no claim to having a representative cross section of the population of the world as my social circle.

Boys are much easier. Feed 'em, feed their friends.

Girls. Especially teenagers.

Suffice to say we are NOT discussing black micro mini bodycon skirts and stilettos in this house, OK?

Seriously, they're all great - different, but great. I enjoyed both boys and girls (I have both)

I have one of each and cannot believe my luck as they are both adorable and I love them to bits. After the first one I wanted another girl and was a bit unsure what to think of the boy who arrived but oh he is an absolute delight. So there I was thinking it was better to have girls only to find out that it was just as fabulous to have a boy.
She is quiet, thoughtful and dreamy; he is a tornado somewhat louder and more energetic. It is hilarious to listen to their conversations.

My mother always acted like my sister and I weren't good enough in anything we did (not pretty/popular/intelligent enough) but she fawned all over any male friends who entered our house...

Personally I think there's a danger that mums expect far more from their daughters than their sons (this is my observation of various families we knew); daughters would be scolded if they did anything wrong, sons would be praised for doing anything right.

I'm glad to see from the preceding thread that this isn't the norm though :)

Oh fuck a zombie thread.

Damn.

3 girls here. Some earlier comments describe them very well.

'very demanding, very independent, lots of tantrums, very strong willed.'

'LOUD, demanding, argumentative and hyperactive ...and they scream allthe time!!'

Two of my DDs were like this from day 1. The other one has only ever had occasional moments but these are getting more frequent as she approaches the teenage years.

I don't know if boys would have been any easier but I was just thinking this morning that I don't know if I can even do another day of this :(

The positive is that my DDs save all their bad behaviour for me. They've always been perfect angels at school/for other people.

I only have a ds so can't really comment but from what I have seen from friends yes their dd are lovely but they seem to be a lot harder work especially the older they get.