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Parenting

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Original poster

Do mothers of girls enjoy their children more?

125 replies

ilikesunshine · 24/06/2009 14:36

Just wondering... I have two dss and spend a lot of time wondering whether life would have been easier with girls. Any experiences to make me feel better about having boys?

OP posts:

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melmog · 26/06/2009 12:37

There must be good and bad points to both. I always wanted boys and guess what... I've got two girls and a dsd to boot!

I have to say though, compared to friends ds's, my girls are more independant and social, but still much more affectionate and cuddly. Eldest is def going to be a Daddy's girl though. I can see it brewing....!

wilkos · 26/06/2009 12:45

i have a dd.

if i have another dd i will be pleased. if i have a ds i will also be pleased.

if i had all ds's i would be pleased.

they are/ will be my children so preference of one gender over another is a total non issue.

and fgs their personalities are not dictated by their gender so get over it!

this type of chat really gets on my nerves. so farking pointless

Astrophe · 26/06/2009 12:48

Another one with a DS (3) and a DD (5).

I really love the mother daughter connection I have DD, and I enjoy the intensity of our relationship - she is very focussed and loves it when we plan something fun together - she gets such a kick out of 'special' times together...and she is very intense, also very affectionate, very intelligent, very bossy and can be cheeky and manipulative. I adore her, but I wouldn't stay I find her easy to deal with...its a constant negotiation with her.

DS is far less intense, more easy going, happy to just be, to chat, to play. He has a wonderful sense of humour and is cheeky in a rascally way, not a defiant way. When he is angry, he snaps into physical agression, and I find that hard to deal with, though not as hard as DD's rudeness.

To be honest, I probably enjoy DS more often, but DD more intensly. They both have their challenges and their joys.

I think personality is a much bigger factor, and I think birth order can greatly influence personality - it seems to have done so with my two anway.

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salbysea · 26/06/2009 12:51

I always think that parents of boy dominated families tend to look less stressed than parents of girl dominated families. Girls seem to age their parents more!

But I am bias as I was so thrilled to be having a boy that i had to contain some of it till well out of the scan and antenatal dept as I think its frowned upon to have a preference, one in the main corridor there was jumping up and down and hi5s

susiey · 26/06/2009 12:59

I have 1 of each I find my dd more mentally exhausting the constant talking in the background. never sorting a problem out herself and whineing more.
but can play the most wonderful imaganitive games and will sit for hours play with 3 mcdonalds highly educational toys

I find my DS more physically exhausting, climbing thins pushing things working out how to escape at every opportunity.
but he is so lovng and affectionate and there is nothing like the feeling when he cuddles and he has such cute words for things my fave at the moment being 'bum bum' meaning jump jump

cheesesarnie · 26/06/2009 13:00

i have a dd and 2 ds.i dont like any of them

screamingabdab · 26/06/2009 13:12

melmog · 26/06/2009 13:34

Made me laugh, cheesesarnie.

majormoo · 26/06/2009 13:45

well I enjoy my DD a lot at the moment-she is 5, nearly 6, and great company. I'm finding my 2 and a half year old son very hard work at the moment. Mainly I think because he is a bit jealous of his baby brother. However, if you asked next week, I could well be saying DD is a bossy, cheeky know it all and DS1 funny, affectionate and generally gorgeous. Changes depending on my and their mood.
Along the lines of Cheesesarnie they are all capable of driving me nuts.

bubblagirl · 26/06/2009 13:58

i love my ds he is my best buddy

mollyroger · 26/06/2009 14:08

hell no, I have enjoyed every second of my 2 boys and I wish I had more.

PeppermintPatty · 26/06/2009 14:09

I agree with others who said it's more to do with personality.

I have a DD, who is very easy in some respects but hard work in others.

Compared to my friends children she seems more hard work, but I think that's down to her personality (independent, headstrong and determined) more than her gender

BlueberryPancake · 26/06/2009 14:42

It is not ridiculous. I remember being at primary school, and (I hope you won't kill me for this) but the kids in my class who were making trouble were boys (primary school, not secondary school). I went to visit a little pre-school yesterday, and there was one boy who was being really agressive, throwing toys on the floor, kicking stuff, really negative energy, and it reminded me of some of the boys in my class when I was a kid.

However, I have friends with little girls and they are a real handful - very demanding, very independent, lots of tantrums, very strong willed. I have two DSs and they are quite laid back, sweet boys, they rarely fight against each other, and we enjoy each other's company very very much. I would have loved to have a girl, but by boys are perfect.

Karam · 26/06/2009 14:46

As a mother of girls, there are so many descriptions of woes with girls that I think must have been describing my children!

My girls are headstrong, bossy, obsessed with all things pink and HSM. I'm constantly thinking one step ahead to have compliance and when DD1 is tired she is stroppy and argumentative. This is before we even start talking about relationships with her peers! Oh the traumas of friendships. Today she has a friend over to play who described my DD as her '5th best friend'... and my DD was pleased to be ranked so highly .

Believe me, two girls are far from easy!

mollyroger · 26/06/2009 14:48

well yes blueberry.

But In my 11-yr-old's primary class there are 15 girls and 7 boys. Not one of the boys has been in trouble in the past year for anything. The girls however, not a day goes by without one slapping someone, bullying by text, msm, name calling , swearing etc. I have never heard anything like it.

Supercherry · 26/06/2009 14:56

No idea, I have 1 DS and another boy on the way All my friends have boys and my sister has a boy, there are no baby girls in mine or my DP's family. As my one friend put it recently, it's 'willies all the way!'.

I would love a little girl at some point in the future but would be just as happy to have another little boy.

Supercherry · 26/06/2009 14:58

Babies, I love 'em!

anniemac · 26/06/2009 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

rupertsabear · 26/06/2009 17:22

I understand the OP as I think it's more wanting a girl than anything else. I want a girl too and would ttc number 4 if I knew I could have one.

That said, it's partly for dh as ds1 didn't start taking an interest in his dad at all until about 6.5, and ds2 and 3 are still mummy all the way. I am totally number 1 goddess in our house . They're not difficult to parent though. ds1 is quiet and likes playing piano. The others shout, wrestle and fight, though they all like drawing. Last year the nightmare child in ds1's class was a girl, this year it's a boy, but the girls are pretty wild too.

I would like to do some of the seriously girly stuff (I paint ds3's nails sometimes, but it's not the same!). I used to love going to the ballet at Covent Garden with my mum - realistically my boys aren't going to be interested in that. They like football and rugby. I would like to have a girl to dress in short skirts with those mini versions of Tods flat leather boots. I don't, so I can't.

For me the main bad side is everybody looking at me with pity for having 3 boys. Is this real, or am I projecting it because I'm sad I don't have a girl? Dunno. Parenting them is fun apart from that.

BlueberryPancake · 26/06/2009 18:07

You know what, I used to do that. When a work colleague said to me that he had three boys I said something like 'that must be hard work' but now that I have two boys, I have to admit that they are relatively easy. They never fight as to what to wear in the morning, they don't ask to wear specific summer clothes in the middle of winter, they don't mind wearing any color clothes, they are happy to play with a ball and a train set. etc etc. Still young, problems might start later... (thinking about spotty long arms hormonal teenage years)

RuthChan · 26/06/2009 19:26

I have DD aged 2.7 and DS aged 0.7. So far DS has been far easier than his sister was. If am more than happy to lend out stubborn, argumentative, whiney, difficult, obsessive, selfish, awkward DD to anyone who needs convincing that girls can be tough.(Can anyone tell that it's been another stressful day?!!)

herbgarden · 26/06/2009 20:03

I utterly adore my little boy of 3 and that's after a week when he has pushed my buttons in a big way. He's hyperactive, cheeky, hard work, sensitive but sooo loving and affectionate and cute. I was never sure if I wanted boys before DS came along but he is gorgeous and my little boy. I had a DD in January and was over the moon to have one of each but towards the end of my pregnancy secretly thought that having two little boys could be fun. I agree though that your kids are your kids and I just adore mine more than life itself every day. Even on the shittiest of days they do something small to make you smile. Anyone got the puke bucket out yet ?

plonker · 26/06/2009 22:59

Girls are an absolute pain in the arse!

They are much, much, much harder to deal with than boys, they are LOUD, demanding, argumentative and hyperactive ...and they scream all the time!!

Of course, being the mother of 3 girls, I have no basis for comparison ....

Bad day? Moi?

blueshoes · 27/06/2009 00:02

My ds is a simpler soul than dd. Both lovely.

zipzap · 27/06/2009 00:09

I seem to be in the minority.

I have 2 ds and I hate it, even though they are lovely little boys. I always thought I wanted children until I had my first scan and was told I was having a boy, at which point I burst into tears as I realised that whenever I had envisaged having children in the future I had always assumed that I would have girls as there are just girls in my family, lots of girl cousins and nieces.

Even now, 4 yrs down the line and with two boys, reading something like this makes me burst into tears because I hate it, I just keep wondering what I did wrong and why I have been punished with not one but two boys. It's made worse by the fact that of all the friends and family that have two or more children, only one person has two boys, everybody else has managed to have at least one girl and I just feel like a complete failure. And the one person I know that has two boys, she feels exactly like I do, if not worse.

My boys are sweet and lovely and I do love them to bits and would never let them do anything to find this out, but I hate the fact that I don't have a daughter and thanks to pregnancy problems probably now never will. And I can't see how that is going to change, I feel like an imposter in my own family, it just doesn't feel real or like my own family, it just seems wrong.

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