DS dry at nursery but HOPELESS at home....

[prozacpopsie]

DS (2yr 10m) is brilliantly dry at nursery (thank god for that) but hopelessly unsuccessful at home. He's full time at nursery and they put them on the potty every half hour (well that would be successful, wouldn't it?!) and he's in 'big boy pants' and out of his pull ups all day. At weekends we try to do the same (no pull ups, big boy pants only) but he pees every 15/20 mins - before we're able to put him on the potty - and we spend all day putting on fresh pants and shorts/trousers. If we put him on the potty to 'finish up' after an accident he may or may not pee. Should we leave him in wet clothes for a while, so he knows that he's wet (are we changing him too quickly)?!

I know it'll happen eventually (he's not gonna be 21 and still peeing his pants) but it's the relentless clothes changing and mopping up pissy floors (thank god for wooden floors) that's really getting me down. Also the pressure (perceived or imagined) from others to get him trained.

I'm feeling v tired and stressed and not always able to control my temper . Saturday was particularly bad and my husband almost kicked me out of the house because I was losing my temper all the time.

PS I had/have PND and tend to stress too much about things (to put it mildly) so telling me to chill out may be redundant!!

Does he ever ask to use the potty? Do you think he knows when he needs to go?

This might be a really obvious suggestion, but you could try using a sticker chart for when he uses the potty successfully. And since the weather is a bit warmer now, I'd leave him naked from the waist down at home - less washing to do.

I'd put him in pull-ups at home, it's not worth getting stressed over it, you can still put him on the potty regularly. He might just be more bothered about accidents at nursery, but isn't bothered if he's at home. He'll get there, don't worry.

My DD always did better at nursery, but it is because they put them on the potty and remind them all of the time - which isn't really the idea is it?

I know how hard it is believe me. DD would often poo in her pants too, so at least you seem to be spared that! (TMI?)

I don't intend to tell you to chill out, but the thing that really cracked it with my DD was to just make absolutely no fuss.

Tell him calmly and without stopping what you are doing to take his trousers and pants off (if he can) and put them in the washing basket/ on the stairs.... Then just calmly get him dressed, again with no fuss, just say something like "it's ok, don't worry."

I tried reward charts, getting cross, etc etc and nothing worked. By adopting the above approach and biting my lip (hard) we'd sorted it within about 3 days!

HTH

I posted a bit earlier with the opposite problem - ds fine at home but pooing in pants at nursery! So sorry this is stressing you out - am no expert but would probably go back to nappies for a bit until you feel able to tackle it again, then start anew.

I do think ignoring pressure from others is the way to go - they don't have to mop up your floors & cope with your stress, so they don't get a say imo.

Thanks for all your fab messages!

No, DS doesn't ask to use the potty. Personally, I think he's not ready to potty train (he's always been slower at the physical milestones - a genius at all else, of course).

We've had sticker charts for wees at nursery and at home but it has kind of dwindled lately.

Mr Prozacpopsie and I both think it's best to go back to pull ups (at home) and let nursery do whatever works for them. I think that'll take the pressure off for a while.

Phew... I feel better already, just thinking I won't spend all weekend mopping up pee!

I know I'm too controlling about it all and am working on that one.

Many, many thanks again!

PP
xx

pp i feel for you! Ds1 is fine at nursery but poos pants regularly at home or when out at park etc. Wees 99% of time in right place though!

No advice just lots of sympathy.

Also to add ds1 is 3.4. He would never have managed the wees at 2.10. When i first tried to potty train he was about same age as your ds and he weed 9 times on floor in one morning so i gave up... When i tried again at 3.2 he was so much better and only wees every few hours so clearly has learnt to hold it!

glad you're feeling better about it pp