Off to Glasto - how should I leave?

[MumOfAPickle]

Am admitedly a little bit PFB about my DS and am worrying about leaving him. He's 16 months and is staying with my mum on Weds, Thurs & Fri night and then being picked up by DH's parents on the Saturday morning and staying there Sat and Sun night.

I think we're going to go down on Weds so my question is do we go while he's still up so that we can say goodbye and he can see us leave or shall I wait till he's in bed and then leave, which would be better traffic wise and would make it seem like we'd been gone less time to him....

Aaaargh, worrying about psychologically scarring him if I do the wrong thing

Please help

you're leaving your child to go to a festival?

why aren't you taking them with you, you can get those big annoying headphones nowadays, they're trendy

when you're there you'll see everyone else's (trendy) children then feel guilty

IME, it is by far the best to leave when they are awake with a cheery 'bye, have a lovely time, see you Monday'. DS is well used to DH or I disappearing off for days at a time (for work), but finds us just not being there in the morning harder than if he's waved us off

sea, you are allowed to still do things alone and for yourself when you become a parent. Perhaps they don't feel Glasto is appropriate for a 16month old?

I would leave whilst he is in bed to be honest, I don't think they have much capacity for memory at this age so doubt he would connect you saying goodbye the night before to you not being there the next morning iyswim.

Have a fab time!

I do cheery "byes" when I'm going anywhere at an unexpected time.

southeastea. What a tight post.

I bet your DS will have a ball at your mums and hopefully you will too.

I would say goodnight and bye bye at the same time and tell him his gran is looking after him.

You will miss him but have a fab time too!

Don't feel guilty it's lovely that he will develop an even closer bond with your mum which is very special.

ps I am very jealous DH is working at silverstone this w/e and having a ball so I feel a bit hard done by!

was being silly

Don't worry south i didn't take your post seriously but I should have said to others please don't post that I shouldn't go! We're going whatever and having spent the months since buying our tickets being nervous about leaving him I am finally feeling excited! Have finally twigged that I'm off to something bloody exciting and that DS will be fine.

Thanks so much for the other replies but still not sure so any other thoughts most appreciated

Have a lovely time, he'll be fine. We went for a few days in NY (for DH's 50th) when DS was just a bit older than this and left him with my mum. The only convo we had with him was: hello darling how are you?

DS: eatin' a potato, bye.

So don't worry he'll have a great time and so will you.

and the headphones are fab.
They work really well and allow us all to have fun.

(ds1 very overloadable re sound and would be a nightmare without , we're womad people, not glasto, but would be frickin' great without kids too, so i'm jealous>

I've done it both ways and ds has always been happy and secure about being left with Grandparents. I just second making sure you tell him you are going whenever you do it. Have a fantastic time .

When I have to go anywhere I always prime my DD the day before or that morning depending on what it is. It makes the change much easier to handle (for me and her!). Even if you think he won't understand/remember he might, so it's good to get him prepared. So long as you make it sound fun and exciting for him it'll be grand. If I were you I'd leave when it was easiest for me and make that easiest for him.
If while awake he can wave you goodbye and even if he is crying you must try not to cry and just tell him what a lovely time he'll have with grandma - he will! He may cry as you leave, but the moment you're out of sight Grandma will distract him and all will be well!
If you leave at night kiss him goodbye and explain that Grandma will be giving him a lovely breakfast in the morning.
I had to leave my DD at around 19 months for 5 days and nights to work and she had a ball with Grandma. It was me who was dying to be home (but then I was working, not having lots of fun at glasto!).

We have the headphones! Took DS to the Ben & Jerrys thing last year (only an afternoon). Glasto a different thing for me though. I know people take babies/toddlers and have a ball but I've been to too many wet ones and just can't imagine DS enjoying that too much. Its just a completely different experience I suppose. I can totally see us rocking up with all the kids in the future but this one is for us We haven't had a week-end away or anything since he was born so this is it.

So looks like consensus swaying towards leaving while he's awake...well we have left him at each house for the night in the last few weeks (I had to have practise runs!) and I left while he was still up both times so maybe that would be best. I think the main reason I want to go when he's asleep is to assuage my guilt about leaving as it means that I'd only be gone for 4 nights for him instead of 5 IYSWIM. But that's bloody stoopid isn't it??

Yes . Go and enjoy yourself! Sadly my ds is at the point where he'll happily kick me out of the door to stay with my mum.

Oh plimple you know me too well:

'even if he is crying you must try not to cry'

And even though we will have a blast and I'm getting giddy at the thought of it, I know I'm going to drive everyone up the wall on the journey back cos I will be bursting to see his little face

Oh ladies, you've made me feel much better. THANK YOU! My logical brain knows it'll be ok but my mad mummy brain is whispering "what if he can't cope without you" "what if something happens" "what if he thinks you're not coming back"

But you lovely lot have made me calmer so ta very very much xx

We are leaving 5am Wednesday so will tuck them in bed with grandparents ds three is learning the expression staycation! We took at 15months in 07 which was a v muddy and quite hardgoing although he enjoyed - we really didn't because it was like not being there, but being there at the same time.

I hesitate to say that I agree with SEA to an extent - 5 days seems an awfully long time to leave a baby, I don't know if it will hurt him to have this happen but I DO know it would kill me to be without mine for that length of time.

Sorry Each to their own!

sharedplanet - i took 20 month old ds in 2007 and he loved it!! his dad and i came back needing a holiday to get over it....it was physically hard work getting around in that gloopy mud with a pushchair.

I'm going again this year though am separated from ds dad now and so he is staying with him while me and new dp go and drink cider and fall over i will miss ds loads.....but we're doing two other festivals this year which are more family friendly and taking ds to those (his dad is a musician so ds loves festivals)

i find that letting them know you will bring them a present back is a great way of helping them cope while you are away from them. Every time i go away, whether it's at a time when i would usually have ds or when he is with his dad anyway ds knows i will bring him something back and suddenly he doesn't mind so much that i'm going somewhere and not taking him with me.

Personally i would leave while he is awake so he knows you have gone, rather than risk going while he is asleep and him waking and wondering where you are.

DS was sort of there in 2005 also - infact he could have been called Glastonbury

Very impressed that people got through '07 with little one's! I was 6 weeks pregnant then and the mud was a blardy nightmare

Right looks like we're leaving when he's still awake and saying bye bye!

Thanks for all your help and for all those off to festivals this summer, enjoy!

the mud was bad enough.....but the straw they were putting down to soak up the really watery bits kept getting clogged up in the front brake on the pushchair, that was worse!!