School Sports - reasons you should not enter the Mum's Race.

[snigger]

You will run, in earnest for once, next to the policewoman mother who is very very fit and tall, and you will hit a damp patch of grass in your bare feet, and fall so hard your tits come out of your ears and you give yourself whiplash.

Chariots of Fire it was not.

Just had to check your profile to make sure you're not in Norfolk, similar happened to a Mum at our school today. She went arse over tit - literally - twice then got up and walked away in a 'what? nothing happened' kind of way.

I, on the other hand, stayed firmly sat on my arse looking after dd2

Just tell them you have a weak pelvic floor and you wouldn't want them to have to swim to the finish line

I laughed hard, once I could breath again - once you've lost your dignity to that extent there's no point being precious about it

The kid's PE teacher was funny - as he started the race, he warned us against gouging, kicking, or hair-pulling. As I stumbled over the line post-collapse, he said "Taking out the opposition by falling on them was supposed to be out, too".

I avoided ds' mums race at sports day today too.

We cheered the others on and suggested that they cheat

For the Dads race we had a competition to decid on the best looking chap and, luckily, he had to run past twice as they were one down in their team

Today, as the whiplash injuries and top-to-toe bruising kicked in, I tried to count my blessings.

I always used to feel for the mothers running against Diana when the press turned up - of course you'd feel you'd have to let her win (and poor her,she probably would have won anyway with those legs), but I bet there must have been at least one uber-competitive mum that really wanted to strap on her spikes and go for it.

I guess I should thank my lucky stars it's only people within my immediate circle that are threatening to put the pictures on youtube