should i bother informing absent dad of birth ?

[milkmonster]

Should I bother informing dad when I'm in labour, or even outcome of birth, ie sex of baby, etc?

We've been together 7 years, ae 40 nd 43, this is our second child (other is age 2). We don't live together although he did visit regularly and stay for several days at a time. He frequently decides to bugger off for days/weeks and once, months, at a time, when he gets in a mood with us, etc but that's another issue.

I have no idea if he's gone for good this time and he will not tell me anyway, never does each time he goes.

He's already said wont be here for the birth, but my mum and sister will travel up here for me anywy. (Home birth planned, due in 2 days).

Should we leave it to him to ring and find out about his new baby, should I ring him? He knows when it's due. Or should I take his lack of interest as read nd not bother with him at all?

Tough one. Personally, I would tell him of birth purely because your baby will deserve to have his/her father know they exsist, but I do think you need to sort out this coming and going stuff. If it continues, your dc's will grow up thinking it's normal and acceptable behaviour and it isn't. Would you want your dc's to do this to their wives/husbands?

It looks a bit like point-scoring if you don't. Agree that the only way to deal with such twattishness is to take the high-ground. And it can never be thrown back at you that you didn't tell him later on.

why do you let him come and go like that? i mean you cant stop him going but you can stop him coming back and "staying for days at a time" i would not let someone repeatedly shit on me...but i suppose no i wouldnt as he should be interested. he sound a completely dispicable bastard