SEEKER you helped me once before can you give me your wisdom again please?

[IamAlsoADreamerOfChocolate]

I changed my name a couple of months back but in a crux you advised me to just wait for ds to tell me whwen he was ready to toilet train.
Well he went into pants on new years day and never had an accident but would not do a poo on toilet or potty so used a nappy for that.
However he has speech difficultiees and was getting vv upset about going to playgroup and it transpired that he was fretting that they would not undersatnd him if he needed the loo so we put him in anappy to go to there and has come on in leaps and bounds with speech and being happy there.
But my problem is that he still will not poo -only in a nappy and now has started holding his wees all day refusing to go to the toilet and just wants a nappy.
if he has no nappy he just doesn;t wee
he just holds and holds
he had dilated kidneys when he was born and was on antibiotics for ayear and is now fine so I really don't want to create a problem but what should I do
dya think just let it come in time
argghh sorry this has turned into an essay.

Seeker are you there?
pretty please?

please?????

Give him something to aim for. Handful of cereal in the toilet bowl, pretty flower, patch of clover, tree, etc. Daddy can help with this, too.

Hi-I'm afraid I don't know anything about the kidney dilation - should you talk to the dr about whether he's likely to cause himself problems by not peeing when he shoud?

Apart from that, I still firmly believe that it is best to just wait. My ds needed a nappy to poo in until he was 4 - then he suddenly was able to use the loo. Have you tried pull ups? That might be a good compromise for him.

I hope this helps - perhaps just completely backing off and not even mentioning it for a while might take the pressure off him?

Thanks for your replies ches you too!
I have tried the aiming thing but it's not that he can't do it he just wants a nappy?
I will speak to the gp and ask about if it will harm if he holds and then go from there.
My gut is to just leave him be and hopefully he will 'grow' out of it but dh keeps saying he should be on toilet etc etc he has a son who was potty trained at 1 and dry at night 2 weeks later and so I am gettin hassle from him and his ex saying I should just 'make' him do it
But I can't make him and if [as in the past ] try and push he just gets upset and I jsut do'nt see why I should do that but I appreciate that he is 4 in sep.
thankyou seeker I will try pull ups how are they for night?