Tell me about things that are better with two DCs than with one...

[LenniEd]

So no.2 is now 5mo and DD is 2.5yo and I'm starting to get a bit down about the divide and conquer approach that seems to have become the norm around here - i.e. me usually stuck nursing DS whilst DH plays/swims/generally does fun things with DD. Please can you tell me about all the lovely things to come that are better when you've got two...

hi lennied, i know exactly how you feel as i have a 25wk old permanantly attached to me and a 2.4 yr old feeling very neglected! am looking forward to some encouraging replies!

oh god, everything once the baby starts crawling!
No one can entertain my youngest like his older brother can!
They play together and really do entertain each other well. Much much easier to make dinner, have a shower, get dressed, everything like that with two of them together.

Oh later, everything is. Obviously they bicker all the time, get over-excited and embarassing when out, outnumber and run you ragged when you're on your own, and run off laughing when you try to discipline them, but they may well play together leaving you time to MN and referee, and quite probably will really love each other, which is amazing.

Ahhh, I remember feeling just like that and feeling really quite jealous of DH who got to have loads of fun with DD whilst I was stuck on the sofa breastfeeding DS. DS is now 2.4 and it all that frustration seems like a distant memory - life is great fun at the moment, so here is my list:

• watching them play together
• realising how much they love each other
• hearing them whispering & giggling to each other after lights out
• being able to take them both out separately for Mummy days and Daddy days. DD loves coming shopping with me or going to the park, DS adores a trip to a cafe.
• family days out - there is so much more interaction between the four of us now - for example, we went to the Moor Valley Country Park last week and had such a laugh playing in the play areas.
• having time with DS while DD is at nursery
• more time for hobbies - now that they entertain each other for most of the day, I find that I get to read, do my fitness DVDs and come on here now & again without feeling guilty.

I love having two...mine are 2.7 and 14 months and have started to play together, earlier they were both sat on the floor looking at books.

They make each other laugh so much, they really do adore each other.

Sometimes it gets really noisy and drives me crazy when they are both in moany moods.

I feel so proud when I see them interacting together and when my eldest is loving towards the youngest.

The early months were tough...my gap is 18 months and not sure i'd do it again! But am so glad we have them both now and even more glad they have each other.

my ds is 2.6 and dd is 8mo (just crawling) and they are so much fun already. I wished away the first few gruelling months and now I feel I can relax again . They entertain each other and ds is beyond cute when he pretends to be a grown up and stop her doing something silly. DS still has a cot bed and he asks for me to put dd in there after their afternoon nap and they roll around and giggle together and he shows her his toys. I knew it would get fun about now, now I just need to mentally block out the last few months .

two are easier than one, and so far three are easier than two.

Best thing is that DD1 no longer needs my undivided attention, because she gets to look after baby DS1 boss DD2 about play with DD2

OK so you've made me go all melty with the thought of them actually loving each other and giggling together. Not that they aren't cute now, but ykwim.

Feb/namechange - glad I'm not alone, sometimes I long for the days when it was just me and DD and I got to do the fun stuff. Where as right now I'm stuck with the chubby cheeked nipple chomper while DH is running around with DD shrieking hilariously.

namechange - you get to read??? Wow! Am looking forward to that...

The first three and a half years are the hardest.

and then it's fine I like my two now. They can play together (and fight).

when they both offer to wash up together without fighting

oh no wait.....that was a dream sorry

I mean, I always loved them, but it's a stage in their/my life that I am liking right now. what I said before came out very badly. As though I didn't used to like my children.

Oh do you know, I really NEEDED to hear this too. My DS1 is 2.8 and DS2 is 5 months and this week I have been starting to worry that I made a mistake in having two Everything is so hard and there is no break ever and I always feel like someone is hard done by (usually me)

Looking forward to this washing up together. Do you think that my DH could be trained too, given time?

I have 3 yr old dd and 12 mnth old ds.

No one can make ds laugh like his big sister does. Big, belly shaking laughs. He just adores her. He follows her around like a little puppy.

Dd loves having her little adoring minion. She invents games for them, their favourite being 'sluds' which involves romping about on our bed squealing, trying to plant revolting sloppy kisses on each other until they are helpless with laughter.

Try to plan a few trips out for you and your dd1. She will be really missing your attention too! Also it will be good for your DH to have some time with DC2. We tried to split it a bit more evenly after the first few months as I got fed up of being stuck on the sofa with DS permanently latched on....

I have a DD who is 4 and a DS who is 2 and they play beautifully together most of the time. Which means that I get to sit and read sometimes (only for about 30 minutes - but still!!)

It does get easier - the first year was hard but suddenly I just started to find little things easier and although there are still hard moments it is still getting easier all the time.

You're right RedFraggle we do need to split things more evenly.

Huffwardly You just made me go all tingly, your two sound wonderful with each other.

ProvincialLady The no break thing gets me too. And I always feel like either one of them is being abandoned most of the time while I see to the other. In fact the only times I feel like I am doing okay by them both is when DS is napping and I can play with DD or when DD is having her bath with DH and I can lie down with DS and feed him and chat to him before bed.

This is all good to hear as I have a DD 2.6 yrs and DS 4 mths. Can't wait for the "playing together stage" as opposed to the "pulling Mummy apart in two different directions 24 hours a day stage".

LenniEd - I can so relate to feeling left out when you are stuck inside with a cute (but ultimately quite boring) baby attached to one nipple while DH does fun stuff with DD.

It is slowly getting better. Now DS's feeds have spaced out a bit I can also do some of the "quality time" with DD.

It is also super cute hearing DD talk to DS. She was talking to him in the car earlier when he was crying, "It's OK, we are going to the park now and then Mummy will get you out". Ahhhhhh...

Daffodilly we have same here too- dd (3) to ds 4mo- Its okay ds, don't worry, mummy will be here in a minute... so lovely and makes a change from her lying on him

Lenni, I know how you feel... seems like the things I do with dd are the boring necessities (bath, teeth , dressing, nursery run, toilet trips, etc) whilst DH gets to have fun with her while I'm baby wrangling (romping on the sofa, building huge railway tracks, duplo, sticking etc)

It will get better... but not sure when!

provincialLady, you've just reminded me that I did wonder that... what have I DONE??? feeling when dc2 was under 6 months old.

Right, despite the fact that my DS1 was so pissed off when his little brother was born (he was 2.5), that he once said "Mummy, can you go out of the room so I can hit Charlie",

and despite the fact that for the first few years they took turns to wake up every night,

and despite the fact that when one was going into tantrum age the other was just coming out, so it was basically 4 years of tantrums,

and despite the fact that we used to go out sometimes with BOTH of them having bite-marks on their faces......

DS2 smiled his first smile at DS1, and said his first word to him as well. When they start to communicate with each other it is brilliant.
My 2 boys are now (despite the bickering) the best of mates, will walk down the street holding hands and laugh like drains at each others jokes, and have learned so much from each other about getting along with someone very different from themselves. They are 6 and 8.

It is very hard but it will gradually get better !

Oh, the other day, DS2 started to tell me about being teased and left out that day in the playground.

Before I could say anything, DS1 (who, if you ask him what he thinks of his brother, will say something along the lines that he is an annoying brat), gave him some brilliant advice about what to do.

Something else good: they play together!

My DD is 2.2 and DS 5mo and I could have written lots of these posts, DH does all the fun stuff while I get to drag them both around the supermarket or other boring stuff...but I already watch them together and he just adores her, just smiles at her all day and she tries to dress him up in hats and blankets, tries to comfort him when he cries...tries to get him to dance to 'Boogie Beebies' and attempted to feed him fishfingers and peas today.

But she brings me crayons 'Drawing Mama, drawing' as soon as I sit down to feed him, climbs in his cot and puts his dummy in her mouth, and I'd really like to stop feeling like the wicked witch some of the time!

Umm the back of the car is all symmetrical now with a car seat either side.

I do enjoy watching them both pile on to DH whenever he tries to relax