Sad that I am making life hard for ds - and anyone know where I can buy a proper sports type bag for shoes?

[Guttersnipe]

Ds has just come home from school. He has had a few bullying issues lately, mainly concerned with his appearance, but a couple of other issues have emerged too.

Apparently he was made fun of because he took his sandwiches to school in old margarine and ice cream tubs. I hadn't thought anything of this (he hadn't complained) as I re-use things all the time. But of course I can see it would be something for the others to sneer at if they wanted to. I duly found a sandwich box I had forgotten I possessed and he has been taking that this week.

Then today it emerged that someone has been making fun of him for carrying his trainers in a plastic bag. Originally, he put the bag in his school bag and its only purpose was keeping the mud from his trainers off his books, but ds is rather lazy about emptying his bag and carries all his books in it permanently so now there is no room for the trainers. So on the days he needs them, he carries them in a plastic bag. But this is laughed at and today the bag was deliberately broken. Money is very tight for me but I can't bear to think that my son is being picked on for these small things. I have seen some children carrying trainers in a small sports type bag, but I have never seen it for sale. Does anyone know where I can get one to make life a bit easier for ds?

And - go easy on me - but am I really so awful to have expected ds to accept these money saving measures?

aw that's so sad
Tesco and other supermarkets do very cheap lunchboxes with pictures on them and drawstring bags
maybe he could help you choose one for himself?

Was just going to say the same as herbietea.

Kids can be so cruel at times

And once you get him a sports bag, what will they bully him for next?

The bullying is the issue here, not his sandwich box or sports bag. You need to have a word with the teacher and name the lads responsible. Because they will be the same lads won't they? So what makes you think this will stop once your ds fits in more? They've singled him out and won't stop unless someone makes them. If the class teacher won't do anything, go to the Head. Ask to see their anti-bullying policy. Make a nuisance of yourself until this gets sorted.

that's a good point Rhubarb

Please don't worry that you have caused him to be bullied by trying to save money. IME, bullies will find anything possible to pick on a child, if it wasn't old ice cream tubs for sandwiches they would have found something else to sneer at.

Are the school involved with the bullying?

Sports direct would probably be the place to look on a tight budget.

Agree regarding getting to the root of the bullying though,

Yes I take your point Rhubarb. The first thing I thought when I looked at herbietea's link was "omg, all those branded bags - which brand is the cool one to have?"

I have already raised the bullying issue and the school are trying to address it. The main bullies are a lot older, but the stuff I have mentioned here - which seems to be fairly low key stuff - is coming from kids in ds's year.

Bullying is like a virus, it spreads.

You need to work on his confidence. Would he be interested in learning martial arts? Self defence classes? Karate? Just knowing that he can defend himself would give him the confidence to stand up to these bullies. I don't advocate violence, but knowing that you do have that outer strength, that you are not going to be kicked in the gutter, gives you self assurance.

He did karate when he was younger. It would not be his thing now but I wonder if he has any knowledge remaining from when he did it?

He is a very quiet, self-conscious, intelligent, dare I say it, geeky boy. He has his set of friends - really good friends - so I am not worrying that he is a loner or cannot make good friendships, but he is a classic bully target. I am only surprised it has taken until now (he is 13) for the bullies to emerge.

here Just £2. Umbro is a bit of a "cheap band" if you really are worried about the brand though.

I suspect that if you are REALLY worried about brand Nike or Adidas will be more "cool" - although slightly more expensive.

If you have a budget you could take him to Sports Direct and allow him to choose within budget.

The Umbro one looks good enough to me, but of course I am not a teenage boy. Ds himself couldn't care tuppence. His trainers are M&S. Are all those bags guaranteed to be big enough? I can't find anywhere where it states the capacity of the bag. There was one, for about £5-6 that looked like it might take PE kit as well as shoes, but I wouldn't like to buy one only to find it was actually for a gumshield!

Oh x posts with herbietea. Ok I will steer clear of Umbro then. If anything is likely to rip, ds will rip it!

The bags I linked to are specifically just for football boots. They are actually designed to segregate football boots from football kit because of dirt - which sounds like exactly what you need. They will (should) be big enough for adult football boots.

If you want something for football kit too - then look at the first page or two on Herbie's link - but you may still want a boot bag to keep dirt off his football clothes? Dunno - I am a mother of girls - but I know that DP has a boot bag inside his football bag to keep the thick mud contained.

I think you need to go and have a look in Sports direct - you can then see size and choose something to suit your needs.

Yes I have googled the shop and we have one near us (wonder of wonders that I have never noticed it before). I suppose I always thought sports shops were full of expensive, specialist equipment. I will definitely go and look at what they have so I can check out the size and quality of the bag. So thanks for that.

As for what to do about the wider issue, it is so tough as schools don't seem to be able to do much these days, and so much of what ds is experiencing is really low key, seemingly trivial stuff. I feel so bad though that I have in some way contributed to it by my money saving measures. Some things are just not worth the saving are they?

I would buy him the shoe bag, but agree with rhubarb and others, this needs to be tackled with school too as bullies will just continue.

They may even see a new bag as 'ooh we must have upset him for him to go buy a bag'.

It's good he has a group of friends though, I would assure him that he and his kind friends will all stand good after school, and these bullies are far less likely to.

Guttersnipe. I quite often go to Primark and they have very suitable/acceptable bags which are excellent for trainer/shoes, they have a drawstring at the top. Also, discount sports shops you can get them for about £2.99. (primark cheaper though). Not happy about this bully business, kids can be vile and it must be upsetting for you. Have a word with the head teacher, if that does not work i would speak to the parent of the bully's. I wish you luck.