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Parenting

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Original poster

How soon did you leave your baby with a sitter?

35 replies

Vizzle · 15/05/2009 13:33

My beautiful girl is seven weeks old and has a colic whinge most evenings. Me and dad need a break!

We'd love to leave her for two hours and get a pint and talk at normal volume. I was thinking of getting a paid sitter in when she's 10 weeks (our family aren't nearby). Is it too soon? When did you leave yours? And did the thought of leaving a baby with someone else fill you with panic?

Questions, questions...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AddictedtoCrunchies · 15/05/2009 13:39

I left my boy after six days because I was close to collapse but that was with my mum. Have you got a close friend you could ask to sit for you? Would maybe be better than someone you don't know..?
If you're in Swindon, I'll do it for you as my boy had colic so I know exactly what it's like.

Voltaire · 15/05/2009 13:39

Could you wrap her up in her pram and take her with you? Feed her before you go and then walk to a restaurant for an early evening meal. I always found my children er whinged most at home and a walk out after evening bath and feed always sent them to sleep.

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.

BunnyLebowski · 15/05/2009 13:41

DD is 7 months and we haven't left her with anyone yet.

Definitely couldn't have at 10 weeks. And especially not with a stranger.

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GenerationGap · 15/05/2009 15:21

Of course it's not too soon. Get some breathing space. Why would you want to take a baby to a pub? As long as you are comfortable with the babysitter, I assure you no harm will come to your daughter and you will feel much better for the break. We went out alone for a couple of hours every week without fail from about 4 weeks, you don't have to be a martyr!

GenerationGap · 15/05/2009 15:25

I often hear people say, 'we haven't left our dc with anyone' as if that is something to be proud of, I just think, 'more fool you!'

peachsmuggler · 15/05/2009 15:55

I think the answer is, whenever you feel comfortable doing it. We left our very colicky DD with her gran at 8 weeks for a couple of hours as all our family live far away and she was visiting so we knew we wouldn't get another chance for months.

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving mine with a stranger but everyone is different and if you do and you think a night out will do you good then go for it.

Have a great night!

BunnyLebowski · 15/05/2009 15:56

GenerationGap - if that is directed at me then you could not be more wrong

I don't feel smug about not leaving my dd.

Myself and my DP live away from both our families and none of our friends are at the baby stage so we wouldn't feel comfortable leaving dd with them.

Nor would I feel comfortable leaving her with a complete stranger.

We both have time away but when we do dd is with the other one iyswim.

Also I am breastfeeding dd and she struggles with a bottle so that's another reason why I haven't left her.

There is nothing foolish about any of that so your insult is redundant.

MrsMattie · 15/05/2009 16:00

I'm very lucky that my mum has always lived locally and is willing to babysit. I have only ever left my kids with her + the odd night with my sister, dad or DH's brother (at ours, once they're already asleep). My situation has meant I am able to rely on family so do still feel incredibly uncomfortable about leaving them with anyone else. However, if I didn't have family close by, we would have had to pay for a sitter and I would've had to get used to it, as there is no way I couldn't have a break from the kids ever. I would have gone mad by now! Actually, just remembered, we did once hire a propfessional sitter through a hotel we were staying in abroad, as we had been travelling for a month and really, really needed a few hours without the kids to relax. It was fine - she was lovely - but I was very angsty about the whole thing.

Going back to work soon, anyway, so will have to rely on a nanny/childminder during the day, so not much difference with going out for a few hours at night...

Again, I would say do what you feel comfortable with. I'm sure it's perfectly natural to worry the first few times you leave your baby with a sitter, but if you have a good, reliable person - and especially if you can build up a relationship with someone - I'm sure it gets easier.

MrsMattie · 15/05/2009 16:03

Also, if the 'stranger' is someone with a childcare qualification and good references, like most agency staff, then I don't see why anyone would frown upon that? Probably better qualifiied to care for a small child than most random aunts, 'family friends' etc.

Don't worry!

hf128219 · 15/05/2009 16:09

I left dd when she was less than 48 hours for a trip to John Lewis. It was with my MIL though!

We use sitters.co.uk and have never been let down. As long as someone is CRB checked/has experience I don't see it as a problem.

BunnyLebowski · 15/05/2009 16:10

Vizzle - Yes MrsMattie's right do whatever feels right for you and yours. That's exactly what I've done.

You've had seven weeks of hard work and deserve a night off.

Before dd DP and I used to go out for long candlelight dinners with lots of wine and great conversation and fun. I really miss that

Enjoy your night

MrsMattie · 15/05/2009 16:20

I wasn't having a dig, btw@Bunny. I can totally understand why people don't want to leave their babies. But I also see the other side. Think it's because when DS was born I was knackered and a bit depressed and couldn't wait to get a night off. Now DD is here (6 mths old) I hate leaving her and am actually cacking myself about going back to work and not spending every waking hour gazing into her eyes

BunnyLebowski · 15/05/2009 16:33

It wasn't you who annoyed me Mrs Mattie

I'm feeling your pain about work - DP has just had a big pay rise so we're trying to work out the figures to see if I can stay at home with dd.

I genuinely have never been as happy as I am now being a mum and taking care of dd all the time. I liked my job but can't BEAR the thought of going back.

piscesmoon · 15/05/2009 16:48

I would do it and go to your nearest pub with mobile and then you could get back easily. I don't know why you would want to take a baby to the pub-she is much better off at home asleep.

frAKKINPannikin · 15/05/2009 17:07

I've babysat babies from the age of 2 weeks. You need a break - get someone experienced and qualified who has coped with parents leaving their PFB and will field phone calls/texts every 10 mins if that's what you want and go to the pub. Invite them round a couple of times first so you get to know them, check references thoroughly and check whether they've sat for "first timers" before so won't get irritated by you checking (which you have every right to do).

I always reassure first timers that there's nothing wrong with needing a bit of head space, we both have phones and you can come back anytime you feel like it. Even doing it for 15 minutes (one mum who got as far as the end of the road in her car, sat there because she couldn't bear to go any further and returned) is a big step. FWIW that same mum rang me the following day and happily went out for 3 hours the next time so that just goes to show the first hurdle is indeed the biggest one!

hf128219 · 15/05/2009 17:13

Sorry - slight hijack! Do you know if sitters.co.uk can supply babysitters in the day?

If not how do you go about finding reliable babysitters who could do this? My dh spends a lot of time away, no family nearby and I would just love to get a couple of hours to go to the gym/play tennis.

Brightonrock · 15/05/2009 17:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Voltaire · 15/05/2009 17:44

I wasn't for a minute suggesting the OP shouldn't get a babysitter. Just wondering if she knew that it was actually possible to do things with a baby.

bubblagirl · 15/05/2009 17:52

i think ds was 8 weks first time just a trip to pub garden for couple of hours second time 3 mths and mum and dad took him for weekend and since then we rarely leave him 3rd time was a yr old and we went to spain for 3 days again he stayed with my mum

i think if you need time then go its only few hours try to relax and enjoy the time away and not panic and down your pint and run home lol

if baby has colic then you spend all your time anxious in case screams place down but its also the not seeing to baby and just enjoying each other there really is no harm in alone time and then you can all do something another time

bruces · 15/05/2009 18:05

I totally agree with GenerationGap you need a few hours me time,are there any parents your friendly with that you can leave your baby with or ask around for a good baby sitting service?
We have left our 3 at very early stages even when i was breast feeding(would express for weeks before hand)but that was with grandparents,aunts and uncles.

posieparker · 15/05/2009 18:12

Babysitters I would consider would be staff at the local nursery (they are always in need of a bit of extra cash and trained, checked etc).
If you feel the need to go out then do it, be prepared to feel a little odd/guilty and don't have high expectations of staying away for long. Perhaps you'll have to pay for more sitting than you take....
I left my 1st dc at 6 months with my parents and subsequent dcs much later as my parents now live abroad.

posieparker · 15/05/2009 18:13

BTW, I don't think colic is a real thing. Have you considered acid reflux?

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/05/2009 18:15

DD was one week but we were going to a long standing anniversary party and left her with the lady who was helping us out.

CrushWithEyeliner · 15/05/2009 18:15

I only leave Dd with my Mother and she is nearly 3. I am very very lucky she is available to me.

snickersnack · 15/05/2009 18:16

My mother looked after dd when she was about 6 weeks old. I think we got a paid sitter at about 7 months. I would have been more confident doing it earlier with my second but he was a milk monster who wouldn't be detached from me, so thought it might be asking a bit much of a babysitter to take over on that score .

If you're happy, I'd go for it.

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