Bad dreams - and the bizarre 2.45am conversations they provoke....

[snigger]

DD requires that her nightmares be presented with a rational solution, despite the obvious strain on my patience and desire for her presence imagination at that time in the morning.

So, slackers, by 3.00am today I had mooted not one, but three, domestic tornado avoidance and survival schemes, and one received the stamp of approval.

Beat that!

Good work. Fortunately, as a mumsnetter, you will be well prepared for her demand for a Zombie Plan should the need arise.

If I mutter "What about the Zombies?" at some ungodly hour due to your having planted the thought in my mind, I shall break down the doors to Mumsnet Towers in my efforts to find your phone number and let you talk her down

You must put it more reassuringly. Just as you are turning out the light say 'One thing you don't need to fret over is the gory flesh-eating dead. I've got that sorted.'

I have those conversations with DH! He often asks me random stuff. My absolute favourite is -

DH: Mmmmm...Tasty McWasty.
Me: What? What's tasty?
DH: This sandwich.

Me: What sandwich?
DH: The one I'm eating
Me: What ARE you talking about? You haven't got a sandwich it's 3 in the morning.
DH: What? Oh, what have I been eating then?

I screamed myself awake a couple of mornings ago bcs I was being attacked by a blue snake.

Is that a euphemism, Fred?

Was DH being, erm, fresh?

Not a euphemism, but a bit of a gift dream for old Sigmund.

dh once woke me up to tell me that Cubby Broccoli (the Bond guy) was coming to dinner and we had to clean the flat NOW.

Apparently I rolled over and murmured 'you invited him, you clear up'. I had no memory of this conversation until an aggrieved dh complained about my lack of urgency the following morning.

Ds tends to sit up and shout when he has a nightmare or sudden thought - but is usually quite happy if I just murmur something soothing and goes back to sleep with no problems. God only knows what I'd do if he started demanding solutions, my brain can't handle anything complex at 3am!