please help, found hubby in an inappropriate position with my son

[angiebaby78]

sorry but typin this quickly as cookin tea. my son ( not his) off school today anyway went upstairs to play ps2. bedroom door shut i was sorting out washing, walked in and could tell that something wasnt quite right. son appeared to move quickly from whatever position he was in ( OMG !!) hubby was lying on bed ps2 was on and son did have controller in his hand. i noticed that sons trousers appeared to be down at the back !!!! OMG i cant beleive what i saw. Am i being paranoid or what should i do ???? Please help me XXXX

did you not ask?
where are they both now?

omg!! did you ask dh and ds what they where doing (seperately)? how old is your ds? could they have been playing?

son is out playing, hubby on computer i didnt ask what they were doing but felt as though it was a strange situation, hubby was 'asleep' although he looked suspicious and when i went back into my room he followed a minute later by the way son is 13

OMG! You must try and find out from your son / DH separately what was going on and see if the stories match.

It may have been totally innocent, but if you feel something was wrong, you MUST check it out.

i think asking either of them anything at this stage could be counter productive

how old is your son?

DD is 3 and often pulls dress up/ pants down if she is itchy or wants to get changed, go to the loo etc...

you say his trousers appeared to be down at the back. so you are not sure?

i would be v v careful of throwing abuse allegations at your H, especially if no other reason to thikn anything untoward

take a deep breath and just think about what to do

loveto i havnt asked son yet was gonna ask him later...but what do i say ??? am not sure if i am overreacting

Is DS DH's son too?

ormirian no hes not his, there was another strange incident with my daughetr a few weeks ago as well OMG i cant beleive it what if its happening under my nose and im doing nothing ????

i'd ask them what they were doing, ask seperately and see what they both say!!

lulu he was sitting on the edge of the bed and the waistband of his trabkies were down at the back ??

i would try to find proper professional advice immediately, on how to deal with this properly

i thikn the correct advice is not to question the children directly about the abuse

i am not sure which agency you would need to speak to for advice.

if you think he is possibly abusing both your childrne , you have to take the matter in hand swiftly. but i don;t think rushing in with all guns blazing is correct

what makes you suspicious re your DD?

Do they always shut the door? is there any reason for that? None of us shut bedroom doors during the day - I would think it odd.

But I agree that you must be very careful how you handle this

Angie I was abused by a relative in the home and the main thing I felt was shame. I would have just died if my parents had asked me anything about it and i would have felt defensive and angry. Would it be an idea to talk to the NSPCC for some advice?
Please jump in if that is a bad idea people!

What do you mean by his trousers 'appear to be down at the back'- that in itself wouldn't suggest abuse? Surely?

could you see that for certain? maybe he had been having a scratch of his back? or his bum?

look, you know your family better tahn us, and if you are getting a strong sense of something being wrong, it could well be so.

can you call NPSCC for advice on how to approach this?

shit!! with your dd too

i wouldn't ask dh just yet (incase he flips!) just the dc's but in a very lighthearted way so they don't feel pressured etc!! gl!

Were his trousers down as in they could've just ridden down as he was sitting (builder's bum) or right down under his bum? Sorry, am just trying to picture exactly what made you suspicious...

What happened with your dd?

Yeah- I'd echo what exactly are your suspicions-? There is nothing in your opening post that explicitly cries out abuse, or perhaps I am reading it wrong

well she was having a sleepover with her friend and cause she sleeps on top bunk her and friend had double airbed downstairs. anyway i went to bed early woke up about an hour ish later ...no hubby...went downstairs to find him lying on the floor next to the airbed in the dark.....my dd was still awake and hubby said he was just helping her get to sleep ...she is 10 btw ???? i am sooo confused but something really doesnt feel right, i wondered at the time but am now really worried ???

I'm playing devil's advocate here, but 13 year old lad's trackies are always half way down their ankles around here.

Having said that, I think trust your instincts, but be very careful how you go about it.

Really hope for all of your sakes it is all just innocent.

You say your DS moved quickly from whatever position he was in. What did your husband do?

I can't quite visualise what is wrong with the scenario you describe. DSs (and DD!) often seem to have their trousers low at the back if they are perched on the edge of a seat and leaning forward.

agree approach NPSCC for advise for prof advice!

Phone for help immediately, NSPCC.

this is why i feel soo confused the trousers could have just been like that ( builders bum ?) am i being paranoid ?

trust your gut instincts,you obviously think that something was wrong or you wouldn't of posted your concerns,i'd speak to your son when you get the chance,has anything happened before to make you feel suspicious?