please help, found hubby in an inappropriate position with my son

[angiebaby78]

sorry but typin this quickly as cookin tea. my son ( not his) off school today anyway went upstairs to play ps2. bedroom door shut i was sorting out washing, walked in and could tell that something wasnt quite right. son appeared to move quickly from whatever position he was in ( OMG !!) hubby was lying on bed ps2 was on and son did have controller in his hand. i noticed that sons trousers appeared to be down at the back !!!! OMG i cant beleive what i saw. Am i being paranoid or what should i do ???? Please help me XXXX

Am I the only one that finds this all a bit inflammatory?

soup dragon hubby im sure was pretending to be asleep ??? and i agree he does wear his trousers low so it could be me ??

Even if you are being paranoid it still needs to be checked out.

The situation with your dd is also worrying, has he helped her to sleep before?

my DS is almost 10, DH often lies on the bed next to him, with the lights off, chatting or reading, or DS drops off to sleep whislt DH is on his laptop next to him, my DH being in bed or next to teh bed with the children would not freak me out. also, if DS has had a nightmare, or been ill in the night, DH often will go to him in the night

so that sounds innocent to me

as does what you have described

what is worrying is that you believe he is capable of abusing both your children, which would suggest there is more going on in the background

I think you are being a bit paranoid - which is not necessarily a bad thing, it's better than being head-in-the-sand.

Do you have a reason to be paranoid? Aside from this and what you found odd with your DD, do you have more reason to suspect your DH is capable of this?

Why would he pretend to be asleep when presumably he was on the playstation?

I think its all a bit weird - how long has he been their step/dad?

i gotta go and do tea, will come back on later, and will look at nspcc website thanks for your advice xxx

how long have you and your dc's been with your dh? is it worth looking him up on that register??

just quickly mrs boo..we have been together for 3 years

sounds worrying to me - I would get advice from NSPC

ok forgive me, but i did a wee search on your name.. you said last month you were about to become a single parent and you have 3 dcs?

Poor you I am sorry you're having to deal with this all. Hope you have someone in RL you could maybe talk to, but probably not as sometimes its easier asking/talking here anonomously

I think the lying down with your daughter is odd unless she has a sleep problem and you do that regularly.If it feels wrong you need to investigate it.

lulu i was on the brink of ending our realtionship thats correct

agree with lulumama - the worrying thing is that you think there is the potential for something to happen. FWIW I could find DH in both of the situations you describe and it wouldn't set alarm bells ringing at all - the fact they do for you says it all

sorry am hiding in the kitchen while kids eat tea, hes just gone out with his mate

I agree stealthpolar

sorry angie, was a wee bit confused. was there a reason you were going to end things? were you worried about this sort of thing before?

i honestly think that what you have described sounds fairly innocent, it is the fact you beleive he is capable of abusing and is abusing your hcildren and you have another child too.

i would phone the NSPCC at the earliest opportunity and not question the chidlren at the moment

I think you know more than you're telling us - and you might either have other suspicions or are looking for a good reason to leave him?

thing is, i trust my DH so implicitly and totally ,that finding him next to or in the bed with either DC would never raise a doubt with me. ever.

you clearly don;t .

so there must be other reasons, especially as what you have posted don't particularly ring alarm bells IMO

lulu i am suspicious of him since the incidence with my dd1 so am perhaps a little sensitive to situations that others would percieve as innocent. Our marriage has encountered a lot of problems with his lies and deception so there are obvious trust issues running underneath the normal day to day living.

Any chance your partner really was asleep and your ds was wanking? You said he moved quickly. Maybe he pulled his trousers up at the front and couldn't get them up at the back in time. There really could be any number of things happening here. I think the fact that you think something dodgy is happening suggests you have more grounds to doubt your partner than maybe you have told us here?

does your DD have sleep issues that would necessitate him being next to her? perhaps she was crying and oyu did not hear and he went to soothe her?

if there is a history of lies and deception that is a different thing

but things must have been better to give it another go?

one way or another this will finish your relatinship, if he is being abusive, he is finished, .if he is not, he should walk as you can;t trust him

Lies and deceptions don't mean paed though, do they?