please help, found hubby in an inappropriate position with my son

[angiebaby78]

sorry but typin this quickly as cookin tea. my son ( not his) off school today anyway went upstairs to play ps2. bedroom door shut i was sorting out washing, walked in and could tell that something wasnt quite right. son appeared to move quickly from whatever position he was in ( OMG !!) hubby was lying on bed ps2 was on and son did have controller in his hand. i noticed that sons trousers appeared to be down at the back !!!! OMG i cant beleive what i saw. Am i being paranoid or what should i do ???? Please help me XXXX

Could they have been playing a game on the psp that he wasn't allowed to play?

no absolutely jem, i agree

but there is clearly a lack of trust theme running through the relationship, whihc means that the OP could be mistaking an innocent situation for something more, as she does not trust her DH fully.

i

I also agree that you need to contact someone. You need to do this very quickly. If you get in touch with the NSPCC they can advise you on where to go from here. Don't reveal anything else on here, contact them and get some real life help. You need to do this now. Don't make any assumptions. Let the NSPCC help you, if it's all innocent then no one will mind.

no dd doesnt have any sleep issues and you are prob right about trust issues, maybe things are completely innocent but becuase i cant trust him i am just paranoid. Am just in a bit of turmoil but am gratful for the advice and help .

if he is out, i would go and call NSPCC.

You do need professional help with this. Please call the NSPCC.

Thing is, and I hate to say this, but I WAS a professional for years, working in the areana of child abuse and child protection, and there is nothing in what the OP says that could be specified as abuse.

Gut feeling accounts for nothing in an assessment, sorry.

I agree with other posters that perhaps you should look at why you have these feelings-
I'm not discounting that there could be abuse, just from whay you have said, there are no grounds really to suspect it either.

The ARENA...

However, I have to go as rl calls, sorry, and I hope you sort out what has been happening, or what made you suspicious.

i would imagine a situation which is giving off strange vibes - is v. hard to describe.

so

i say this

if you suspect that something weird was going on in these two situations

then leave

it comes down to this

even if he didn't do anything - why would you want to be with someone who you would suspect of doing such heinus unforgivable things to your own children.

so sort out your finance shit - and get out sharpish.

Hmm, i've also worked in the field and I have to say would agree with Jem but also- and a definite also- with Custy; if you feel there is even a risk SHIFT OUTTA THERE NOW (sorry to shout, meant for empahsis not as an order I promise)

If a family had come to me like this I would have taken the gut thing as a reason to look closewr and consier it- but above a certain level it becomes a no goer, there ahs to be evidence. Obviosuly really.

angiebaby I really hope everything is OK there, and it must be a horrible place tro be emotionally . At the least I would consider a trip away (to stay with familoy eprhaps?) with friends whilst you work out whether this is a real concern to you, an over reaction for other reasons (if we have some experience of abuse ourselves or are stressed, for example- not saying thats the case but just a possibility in the wide world)...... if you think there is any risk though contact the NSPCC and chat throgh anonymously with them for perspective

Obviously don't know what is going on in your relationship to make you not trust your partner - if you think he is having affairs (or he has had) that may make him a lousy partner but it doesn't mean in itself that he is a potential child abuser.
I agree with the posters who say you should call the NSPCC and ask for advice - one final thing to consider is: how do your DC feel about your partner, do they like him? And have either of them started showing signs of being upset/distressed about anything?

agree with custardo. If you can even entertain doubts then that is worth acting on.

I mean, I can guarantee you 100% for certain that I wouldn't ever, ever have this worry with my dh and ds. I trust him in that way more than 100%.

If you have a lack of trust about it, act on it.

Better act on it and possibly it be for nothing, than NOT act on it if it is something. I know which risk I would rather run and it would be me and my relationship rather than the safety of my child

Just dipping in- agree with peachy too, of course