School friends

[coldtea]

Ds is in reception & has been friends now with 2 boys since nursery-so they've known each other for 15months. They are very tight knit so much so that i can't have one round to play without upsetting the other, they come as a package!

The trouble is i'm not keen on either of the children & i'm worried they will hold ds back.

I'm glad ds is happy, but i find myself wondering if these boys will his best friends throughout school. Knowing how fickle children can be i'm hoping in time he will make new friends.

My question is are you're children still friends with the children they formed their earliest friendships with & if not when & what made it change?

Ummmmmm, DS2 (yr6 primary) still has his best friend from when he was a baby, but his other friends change from school year to school year. Lots of his original friends from when he first started have moved area (not for any bad reason) so he's lost touch with them that way.

DS1 is in high school (yr8) in a different catchment to his old primary school, so he doesn't go to high school with anyone from his old primary school. He has kept in touch with a handful of primary school friends, who come over and play (can I still use that word when he's almost 11 ?! I suspect I'd get told it's not cool!) at weekends and whatnot.

TBH, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry too much about these boys becoming a part of DS's main social circle forever, things do change.

One thing you could do is to work your way through the class list inviting all the other children to tea - chances are your ds may well click with some others as well.

Are you still close friends with anyone from your first day at primary school? I'm not and I have to say, neither is anyone else I know!

Thanks Nomdeplume, that's what i needed to hear ds is so loyal & so sweet that i hope that will apply to him too. 18months ago i fell out with a friend whose little boy ds had known since he was born & he still asks for him now & asks if they are still friends! Sometimes he can take loyalty too far!

Flashingnose, not from primary but am still friends with all those from secondary.

The boys in question are very rude & immature(if that's possible for a 5yo!)& have zero concentration span-i know because i help out in the class & watch ds get distracted. I just don't want him to fall down this path. I know he's young but as a caring parent i can't help but be concerned

Sorry, I didn't mean to be flippant .

I really would try and gently steer him towards some different children out of school and also maybe have a quiet word with the teacher and ask him/her to move him away from the boys in class. Is he likely to be in the same class as them next year? Again, could you ask if they could be separated? Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about playtime but maybe all of the above will encourage him to form other friendships.

Flashingnose, sorry i didn't take it that you were being flippant at all. I really need to get the hang of putting emotion into my posts, sorry if i sounded flippant

Anyone else? Please

My sons have changed school since reception but i have to say that friends come and go. DS1 is 9 and although he remembers last years friends, it is just todays friends that matter to him.
Don't worry too much and I think it is a good idea to encourage other children to play
Talk to the teacher and ask that she splits the 3 of them up as much as possible during school time too.

My DS has been best friends with a boy since age 6 months at day nursery and still is in reception. I worry that this is making him lazy in forming other friendships, and he is relying on this boy too much. Our families are good friends too and we socialise together a lot, but we agreed with his teachers that encouraging him to widen his circle of friends was a good thing. However he's a fairly outgoing sociable type so i don't have any real concerns.