would you let your 11Y DS play 18 certificate games?

[sanae]

My 11 yr old DS keeps complaining that all his friends play 18 certificate games on their consoles- medal of honour, grand theft auto etc. We have said no to this, and I thought it was just a case of "my friends are all allowed to...." pushing the limits. But I was surprised when I asked around to find that their children are playing these things -even down to some 7 year olds. The parents all seem "nice" respectable people and to be fair the kids all seem well balanced. Are we being too protective? - he has watched these things at their houses without us realising so it's not as though he isn't seeing them at all. Is there a big difference between 18 cert. content in films, which I certainly wouldn't let him watch, and games? What do you let your kids do?

I doubt that he will start swearing just because he hears swearing in a game
he is old enough to know the rules for acceptable behaviour at home
btw he will be using swear words, at school and with his friends, but you probably will have realised that
children only use them in everyday conversations if the adults around them do and it is normal behaviour

I have just asked him - he says GTA and Call Of Duty - never heard of the latter - I asked him why and he has just said that they are "fun" "strategy" games, but I think it is more because everyone else at school + other outside friends are doing it and he wants to be part of the conversation.

It's not about discerning what is real or not, it's about becoming increasingly desentitized to violence. And violent films and computer games (and pornography) increase this desensitivity.

Young men are particularly at risk from violence.

Not a chance! No way would I condone a chil that young playing games very obviously deisgned for a much older audience. Teh ratings are there for a reason and I believe it is my job, as a parent, to ensure my child is not accessing inapproproate material.

The idea that an 11y is encouraged on a computer game to shag prostitutes for health (???) points appals me to be frank!

He is also relatively new to the school - been there just a year- so perhaps more pressure to fit in.

Banning something is different from not allowing age inappropriate stuff.

I wouldn't let my foster daughter get pissed, go to nightclubs, get married or watch/play games inappropriate for her.

Sh got scared at the Dungeon at Warwick Castle the other day, she's a looooooong way from playing scary violent games (for her own protection)

I've never fostered anyone where PR was outside the care situation so I don't know, sorry.

I am clueless about what is in these games as I have no interest in them. All those things sound fine to me Riven. Laurie - you have a point, but then I wouldn't dream of letting my kids get pissed, have sex etc under age either. I am being challenged on this point because the majority of parents around here - and they are people whose opinions I would generally respect - obviously feel differently.

Not just the majority - the vast majority.

Totally with Laurie here.
I dont see it as an issue of banning things really - at age 11 there are some things which are simply not appropriate and IMO these sorts of games are just that kind of thing.
I am not a very strict parent but am anti all computer games, I think they are pretty meaningless as a life experience.

I would be glad to go against the herd sanae on this though.

If I let my foster charge play these games it would be regarded as abuse. Extreme maybe and certainly the other end of the spectrum from Riven.

I'm glad there's plenty of differing points of view on mumsnet.

And there are some really daft respectable parents round where I live - last week I met a couple who thought the dope their kids were smoking (aged 15) was no biggie - they did not know (or bothered educating themselves) about how different cannabis is now.

If mine want a game which I am unsure of I either play it myself first or ask friends to see what it is actually like, then decide.

Yes, DD has told me a skateboarding game was rated 15 because of a pool of blood when someone dies - seems a bit extreme. I suppose the only answer is to look at it yourself, but I really find computer games boring

I tried the whole banning thing but ds (now 15) just kept going on and on. However have stuck to my guns to an extent and have only allowed 18 films and games in last 12 months, before that allowed 15 certificates from about age 12 or 13. There is so much peer pressure and it seems to be starting younger and younger to play these games and watch these things and not sure how it can be stopped. DS now obsessed with Skins on TV (18 rated DVD). Now this is real not so much violence but plenty of sex and drugs. Not seen that much of it but of course is portrayed as 'realistic' certainly compared to GTA. Should I be more worried about him watching this?

Yes, I feel I am at the beginning of difficult time now with DS going to senior school this September - I am expecting a lot of peer pressure issues. So far we have held out against hand held consoles and mobile phones (but expect to let him have mobile for emergency use September and possibly Nintendo DS this year), computers and TVs in bedrooms(don't want to give in on these)- but how much do I want him to feel different from his friends - well I don't really. Agree about TV too - DS wants to watch Scrubs - we have stopped Scrubs - as you say I think what's on TV might be worse than some of these games.

NO-and I don't care what others do.

I have the same issue with my son (12yrs) . First and foremost I explained to him why they had age ratings ... the content is not appropriate for them and secondly it's illegal for me to allow him to play them. You don't need to go beyond that - you are his mum! Also, don't be fooled by his mates, not all of them will be playing these games.

I mean I am not influenced by what others do.

I absolutely would not allow a child of that age to play games like those mentioned. They are incredibly violent and yes, I have played GTA. Violence is central to the whole point of the game; I can't imagine that I would be fine with my child being immersed in that.

You have your opinion Riven and I have mine.

As far as uneducated, I think computer games are pretty uneducated, whereas reading a book you usually need to engage your brain.