would you let your 11Y DS play 18 certificate games?

[sanae]

My 11 yr old DS keeps complaining that all his friends play 18 certificate games on their consoles- medal of honour, grand theft auto etc. We have said no to this, and I thought it was just a case of "my friends are all allowed to...." pushing the limits. But I was surprised when I asked around to find that their children are playing these things -even down to some 7 year olds. The parents all seem "nice" respectable people and to be fair the kids all seem well balanced. Are we being too protective? - he has watched these things at their houses without us realising so it's not as though he isn't seeing them at all. Is there a big difference between 18 cert. content in films, which I certainly wouldn't let him watch, and games? What do you let your kids do?

Whatr gets me is why people are influenced by others into doing something they don't want to do.

There are a few games marked as 16+ that the DCs are allowed to play (after we've played them first), but we stick to the proper BBFC 15 and 18 ratings. I don't let them watch 15 or 18 rated films, I'm not going to let them play the games (and I don't give a toss what their friends are doing tbh)

You're not being a 'strict censoring parent', you're sticking to your principles, in your house, with your kids. Sod everyone else, no need to justify anything.

sanae - could you say to your child that the games are a bit chav - or something off-putting? would that work?!

• so far I have only found one mum who agrees with me! - and I can assure you these are the "nice" well behaved children in the class who are playing these things. This is what makes me worry that I am being too strict.

well said riven
I was a punk/ goth in my teens as was DH and we have a large group of friends who are the same
we often joke about how our children will rebel. They will have to turn out as accountants in an Ab Fab sort of way

No I wouldn't but many many paretns do. Damn depressing

I suppose I had very strict parents myself (of course it wasn't about video games in my day) and went a bit OTT about things like alcohol when I did leave home. Perhaps's that's why I feel I want to be able to justify my decisions. I DON'T have any problem at all saying no to many things whether or not others agree, but I am the sort of person that wants to hear both sides. My instincts still say no, and I will probably keep to that, but I want to have a discussion with my son about why. I have never watched any video games and don't know what they contain.

Luckily I'm fairly convinced that not being allowed to play rated games or watch rated films isn't going to send my boys off the rails. There's a nice fuzzy grey area between scary control freak parent and overly liberal, don't-give-a-shit parent and I think we all find our niche somewhere in there

That's why I put shag/rape as I only saw the clip on another website. In the clip the car ran her over and then the 'player' got out and shag/raped her on the pavement when she was lying in blood.

Even if it was GTA Vice City and not GTA itself then it's unsuitable imo.

That's why it comes wtih an 18 certificate. Children in general are highly susceptible to influence like this.

I think it's disgusting if you can shag prostitutes in a game for health points and I think 13 year olds and 15 year olds (and indeed 11 year olds) should not be playing games like this.

I hear lots of 10/11 yr olds boast about the 18 games they play.

I have never banned anything either. Sometimes we hear about a film, someone'll ask casually about the rating and we just go along with it. It's nothing to do with something being banned.

what is a mainstream type?

I am a child-led, person-centred foster carer who knows that boundaries have to exist to keep children feeling safe.

Children do not have the same sensitivities or sensibilities you do Riven, they cannot discern fully. Their brains are not fully developed til 26.

You understand and discern in a different way than they do.

well, I'm not any of those things but I do not ban. I'm a bit surprised that there is a view that most parents ban things.

It's a very interesting arguement and as always about balance. I would really like to just say no, but it is making a very big point to your child to say no to something that everyone else in the class is doing. They are excluded from the conversions. He keeps asking outright why he can't watch them when everyone else does. So far I have just said that I think that they are too violent and that I don't like the swearing, but he points out that he knows the difference between fantasy and real violence and that he knows the swear words anyway! So we are going to have to have a proper discussion about it if I don't want it to become an even bigger issue than it is with him.

ah ok. Let me look at that again.

If I had a child that wanted to play an 18 game, would I let him/her.Hmm. Don't know. I tend to think that it's something to do with how we have brought the kids up so far that they have no interest in 18 rated things and banning just doesn't come into it. Maybe it's not.

By the way, he is generally a well behaved child, never in trouble at school, and so far haven't heard him swear. So I wonder whether allowing him to play 18 games might change this or not.

That's only some people, though, riven. You seem to be seeing many many parents like that. I suppose if you are at the extreme of laissez-faire then most people appear to have some element of strictness to them.