Is it appropriate to tell a 2.3 yr old that if they wake up they will see the babysitter and not us or will that just cause worry?

[BiscuitStuffer]

DD is more on the anxious side of things and to date we haven't told her when we're going out. It has just struck us that she could easily wake up either well or sick and will then discover that we're not there and may get really distressed. How old are your LOs when you explain all this to them and are they able to understand and not worry?

I have always told DS, though not sure if this was the right thing to do. Have barely been out since DS was born - he's now 3.5.

DD is nearly 3 and we tell her when the babysitter is coming and have done for a little while. She has met her a few times so is quite happy about it.

Can you not get your babysitter to come round a bit earlier so she can meet your DD?

We have always told ours. didn't start to go out until DS2 was 11 months though!

I would definitely tell her, for exactly the reason you mention. Although we hardly go out these days, we usually have the babysitter arrive before we go out, so that the DCs can say hello etc and not worry about who is babysitting - the only people that ever babysit are friends that the DCs know anyway. I always tell them that XX will be here, just in the living room watching telly, and when you wake up in the morning we will be here just like normal.

I always told them, from as soon as they could understand, around 18 months-2 years probably.

But mine have never been particularly clingy. I do know people who "escape" rather than say goodbye, and they say it works for them, but I would feel bad that they would suddenly realise I was gone.

When we have a babysitter the dc talk to her and play with her for a bit then we put them to bed and remind them we are going out and she is there if they need her. Our babysitter is always happy to read endless stories and do endless puzzles so the dc enjoy the attention.

i have used that approach with all my dds since birth! even if i was leaving them with mil and it was while they were napping, i would explain 'mummy is going out to shop for herself. when you wake up mil will be here and she will take good care of you. i will be back soon'

so far, none of them have had 'separation anxiety', and i have absolutely no problem leaving them with a carer, and it also helps me when they are being naughty ....

if you feel it's right - do it!

we always have whoever is babysitting round for bath, story and bed, although it is usually her grand parents or my sister. DD (2yrs) gets a nice surprise that we are back when she gets up ion the morning (although we are hardly out either these days)

for that very reason we have always had babysitter round before he goes to sleep (ds 2.5) so he won't be upset if he wakes up as he knows they're there. and we have only ever used people he knows well and is comfortable with (which can be a bit limiting)

my bezzie mate used any old agency babysitter with both hers though from an early age and had no problems - but then her kids NEVER woke up in the night. mine does.

some friends with kids do act like i'm being ridiculous when i won't leave him with a babysitter he doesn't know, or with friends that he doesn't know well, but i know that i wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself if i was worrying that he might wake and be upset.

i reckon you know best what yours can deal with.